Oh no mixed feelings, confused as hell

[glorificus]

Well it's a long long story.

Well there's this guy in my class who is openly gay and lately he's been flirting with me...a lot and I'm curious to know if he really is seriously flirting or just joking around. Well I think it's flirting, but because of his personality (he's very quick and witty and has a very crude sense of humor) it's hard to tell if he's being serious or joking around.


At first it started with him a while back, he would come over to me and, put his hand on my shoulder and ask "what ya doing later" and well cause he's very quick on things it's hard to find the right answer so I just ignore him. Then he would start standing really close to me and ask "am I getting too close" and then when I say yes and gets even closer, but laughs and walks away.

Then later on in Tuesday classes, he ditches his other two friends and sits right next to me, then jokingly he's like "Oh NO!" Because he use to think I hate him. But he's starting to be more friendly, and when he sits next to me he suggests all these dirty things, and he's clever to say it when no one is listening.

At first I thought he hated me and he was joking around, being mean 'cause I'm probably ugly or something. You know how some people pretend flirt just to tease. But on his birthday when I wished him happy birthday he hugged me and then when sitting next to me was nice enough to share his chocolate. You wouldn't give candy to someone you hate.

Then on Wednesday, well in the first class in morning he was sitting across the table from me sitting with his two friends, but at one point he crawled under the table and stoked my thigh, I think in just matter to creep me out as he and his friend where having a giggle fit. But later in that class we had a test and he came and sat next to me so share answers

Then in Wednesday afternoon we were in the lecture theatre and there was a spare seat between me and my friend and two other seats on the other side of Lauren. His friends on the other side and when my friend L asked him if he wanted her to move so he could sit next to his friends he said no he wanted to sit next to me. Then that whole lesson he did nothing but flirt with me, well I think it was flirting. The problem is I can't tell if it is or just him and his dirty mind joking around. First it started with him stroking my arm and asking if I like it. Then later on his rubbing his palm on the back of my hand, then stoking my hair - all the mean time Lauren is pissing herself laughing which just invokes him more, and at one point he tries and feels me up, just reach across and rubbing my chest. WTF? Then he grabs my pencil I was writing notes with and starts making sexual suggestions with it.

he started drawing on my notes, and licking paper.

I confronted him about it when he fell asleep then woke back but and continued flirting I said "back to flirting are ya?" acknowledging I thought it was flirting too which he replied "WHAT!......why? do you like it?" When the class end he got up and stroked his finger across my jaw line.

Now on Thursday morning he didn't really say much to me, but later in the lesson he was back to his dirty suggestive jokes. When I would be talking to one of my Friend's "B" he would come up from behind, hands around my shoulders for a minute before he pushes me to the side then B says in front of him "he likes you" then he would make a joke and walk off. But then when we're outside alone he doesn't do anything, I was watching him grossly slagging off the edge of the balcony then when B came outside he turns to me and asks in a suggestive manner "so what other stuff you like?" - It occurs to me then that he only does all this when other people are around.

Thursday lunch he decided to hang around with me and my friends, because he's friends are being weird around him now

Friday lunch he joins us again. We got in a fit of giggles and B started throwing rubbish at me when I staid something stupid and then he joined in.
But he didn't flirt with me the rest of the day expect for once where I asked him where the guillotine is and he did the hand on shoulder thing again.

Now Monday, today it was very minimal again. He did the "am I standing too close...how 'bout now?" Jokingly said something about our hearts and love. He tagged along for lunch again, only this time and we left with out him but he chased us down and still joined us. He wanted to go to Coles again but L said she'll wait outside and he requested I joined him in the stop, nothing happened and he just brought some drinks. Then nothing for the rest of the afternoon.

So I get confused if he does like me or he's just joking around. Maybe he does it in a jokingly matter so incase of rejection he can just say he was only joking. But he's the type of guy who can have anyone and if he does like me then I don't know what he sees in me.

I'm starting to fall for him, He's all I think about and he's adorable. But he only really playful towards me on Tuesdays and Wednesday and every other day he treats me like everyone else. I want him to feel the same for me but I don't think he does.

The following week on Tuesdays and Wednesday he drew my love hearts and he winks at me, briefly play footsies, played with my ear, rubbing my hair again, but then he started talking about this boy he use to hit on and said how he felt up his shirt. I heard one of his friends say something that hinted that he licked me. But then he got a message from this guy he said is creepy and has a crush on him and is visiting him that night.

My friend who had some alone time with him said to me that "he wants me...and don't pretend you don't like it." She doesn't know that I'm gay but I think she's figured it out

He gave me his msn but he hasn't been on the past few days. I can't help but think he doesn't want anything from me and didn't accept me.

The following day I over heard him talking in private with his friend how he was sick Wednesday night and how some "friend" of his "adorably" looked after him and spoon feed him medicine.

Today he asked me a few times to accompany him to the library which I didn't go cause I was feeling sick. But My friend B didn't realise I didn't go and said in the class room that this boy and I have gone and having some alone time.

I'm starting to think that it's only I who has the crush, he couldn't care about me , he hasn't asked me for my number or email or anything. I think B doesn't know shit and only sees the lust in my eyes after him and is also clueless about how he feels.

I don't know what to do. I had to come out to another friend to get advice and he said just flirt with him back but I've been too shy to do that, and I think I'll be too shy to talk to him too in private. I'm crazy about him now, and I think he knows that I'm gay and all this flirting is just to make me comfortable with myself, he's such a tease. Now I don't know what to think or to do

I hope that all made sense.

 

[G-Lexington]

What more does this guy have to do? Give you a blowjob during lecture? He's giving you the full-court press, and you've...well, what have you done? Other than been sad that he hasn't given you his phone number?

Flirting leads to relationships and/or hook-up only when the other person responds. And in your long litany of "things this guy has done", I don't see one time where you have given him any "positive reinforcement". You've ignored him, you refused to go the library with him, you haven't said anything to indicate you're enjoying this. So start giving it already.

Next time he starts rubbing your chest or licking you, smile and say, "Maybe we can do more of this when there's not so many people around."

If he asks, "What else do you like?" say "Maybe I'll show you exactly what I like later on."

He's waiting for a signal. Give it to him, already.

Lex

 

[Soilwork]

I say first right back at him... call his bluff...

Next time he says "Am I standing too close" snap back something like "Well your dick isn't in my ass yet, so no.. get closer..." or "Buddy, until I feel the goose bumps you keep moving in for the kill, ok?"

See how he reacts.

If he's doing this just to try to freak you out (thinking you're straight and uptight), he'll stop. If he's doing this because he likes you and wants a little of what you got... he'll keep it up.

Or you can just get all serious and go for broke with something like "OK... tired of waiting... are you gonna ask me out or are you gonna just play games? I'm not gonna wait all year, you know."

 

[billybob109]

Well he is not going to ask for your number becauase maybe he is not positive that you are straight. If i was him i would be more carefull because if you were straight you probably would of knocked him in his face for touching u in places that someone you do not know should be touching. But i would get him alone and tell him how you feel but the thing is are you willing to come out to all of your friends for this boy?

 

[p700granat]

hmm, your friend here seem quite similar to a friend of mine I described in my thread, and for a while I had exactly the same confusions as you do. But there's one major difference: your friend is openly gay. So do something to show how you feel like others have suggested - there's nothing to lose in your scenario.

 

[KaraBulut]

Be aware that if you go further with this guy, he will most likely out you to all of your friends.

You have a crush. If want to do something about it, just make sure that you're ready to come out.

 

[looseliam]

I'm with soil on this one!

Test the waters.

 

[lucius]

then when sitting next to me was nice enough to share his chocolate. You wouldn't give candy to someone you hate.

unless they want to sabotage you and turn you into a fatty!

chocolate has so many calories!!!

 

[KaraBulut]

chocolate has so many calories!!!

Fortunately, hotsweatybuttsex works off the calories.

 

[m59583]

"You wouldn't give candy to someone you hate."


Oh, you poor soul, you've never heard of Hansel and Gretel have you?

Soilwork put it best earlier in this thread--test the waters when you get a chance and there aren't that many people around. You'll either freak him out and he'll get serious.......OR....he'll go further.

This time, the ball's.....or perhaps that, the ballS are.....in your court.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Oh, you poor soul, you've never heard of Hansel and Gretel have you?

I have. But in that fairy tale, the witch wanted to eat them. And that might not be a bad ending here, either.

Lex

 

[glorificus]

It's getting more confusing. I'm starting to think he's not interested in the way I hope and is just trying to out me. We ended up talking on msn and all he could talk about was how hot some other gay friend of his is....

Then we got each other's Myspace (bad move) and he was more than happy to "discuss" my one with me, questioning my likes and said "well the evidence is starting to pile up"

When I looked at his one I was happy to see his status was set to single but was sadden by the same boy in his display pic sending him love dovey comments, but the other boy's status is set to divorce. So my friend suggested they might be just good friends....

Now today he was back to his normal self and I was starting to get over him a little thinking he's either having feelings for someone else, then he got bored and started the flirting back up again, even grabbing and rubbing my chest from behind. I wanted to flirt back but he's too quick and I'm too shy and so I ended up blushing really badly and my friend B saw and told him and that just gave him more fire and flirted more and talked really dirty, and I just stood there and took it and he said "you take it too easily...you need to make it harder to get"

I just don't understand him anymore

Sorry if I sound like a clueless retard but I'm new at this and this guy is too quick and wity it's hard to understand him.

Thanks for everyone's help and suggestions so far

 

[tallguy297]

It's getting more confusing. I'm starting to think he's not interested in the way I hope and is just trying to out me. We ended up talking on msn and all he could talk about was how hot some other gay friend of his is....

Mate... sadly I think you have this guy pegged right here.

He sounds like he has an balls and all agenda to literally out you... and hes not doing because he likes you.

You dont deserve to have your head messed with or games played with your emotions. You are a good guy, a decent, genuine and respectful. You have great values and even through all of this you have treated him with nothing but freindship and respect. And honestly glorificus, you deserve nothing less than that in return.

Its time to walk away mate. Portect yourself, protect your heart and soul. Guys like this have nothing better to do than glorify themselves in someone elses misery... and yet I would almost bet hes struggling himself... thats the complete irony. But its also not your problem.

Yes he probably suspects your gay. But thats his opening to treat you with respect in a bid to sort himself out. But he chose not to. And until he wakes up to himself and the hurt hes doing to you and himself then hes a burden you dont need to carry mate. Move on mate...