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Ok, is he gay...or isnt he

starwars

starwars

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right there is this kid at my college who i really really fancy, however, i never fancied him as much as i do before i found out he was bi or gay. originally he was going out with my best friend (a girl) whom he then told was bi, and specifically asked her to tell me (but not to mention that he told her to tell me), so she blatently told me everything (at this point i was and still am ''closeted''). he then went out with my ex girlfriend while he was going out with my best friend (same girl), which only lasted one hour cos the moment he told me i told her. then he dumped my best friend for a lil bisexual girl of his. he then dumped the bisexual girl and said he was a total gay. me and him started doing stuff together (cinema, ice skating etc etc). we then drifted apart.

(1 year later) me and him start talking again and he has a new girlfriend who he said he had had sex with and wanted a baby (this was a total lie btw). and in private he turns round to me and goes he still fancies lads etc etc, but this dont make him gay or EVEN BI!!!

i turn round and tell him that he cant turn his feelings on and off like a lightbulb (he says he can). he turns round and says he loves her and everytihn and dont want anyone else. after crimbo he says he fancies another girl on the other side of birmingham who he wants to ask out, but seeks my advice, (this next bit might have been a lil bad) i told him to do it knowing full well both relationships will blow apart. He has also been saying that another mate (who is gay) keeps coming on to him and he dont like it etc etc


so what do you guys think this makes him then?
 
after all the twists and turns, I don't know if your friend is bi or gay, but I do know he likes to play head games.
 
Fuck him in the ass. If he keeps his hard-on, he's gay.

Kidding.

This is like a dull episode of DeGrassi High. (Redundant, but still.) "he says this but he told her that but he made her swear not to tell anyone but she told me so I told her to tell him but not tell anyone that..."

I'd say your chances of anything happening with him are fairly low. Your chances of anything happening as long as you won't tell anybody that you're gay is even lower.

Lex
 
he sounds like Vicki Pollard from Little Britain - yeah but no but yeah but no

get over him, and open that door and get of the closet - it isn't that bad on the other side, and as said above, you might get some ass - and maybe more well adjusted ass at that!
 
He is extraordinarily immature.

I don't believe he's "confused" about his sexual identity at all.

He's gay, but doesn't wan't to come out and deal with the consequences. He'll date girls, maybe even marry, but fool around with guys on the side.

Unless and until he decides to be honest with himself, you and others, you're setting yourself up for a lot of heartache, if you keep carrying a torch for him.

And you might want to consider whether or not being in the closet is doing you any favors either.
 
starwars said:
so what do you guys think this makes him then?
Click to expand...

Well... to be honest mate (and welcome to the forum!!!)... it makes him someone who has yet to figure out that the world consists of more people than just him. It makes him someone who is struggling to sort out his own feelings and issues and while he does that hes someone who is hurting an awful lot of people... it doesnt matter if he's gay or bi... right now hes just confused and in denial.

Most importantly starwars... it makes him someone to steer clear of emotionally until he sorts his own headspace out. The last thing you need to do is get caught up in has drama. I doubt he means to hurt people but until he understands what hes doing and where hes at you should protect yourself... you dont need the hurt in your life as well.
 
so what do you guys think this makes him then?

A self-centered prick who uses and manipulates people?

No, really.
 
KaraBulut said:
so what do you guys think this makes him then?

A self-centered prick who uses and manipulates people?

No, really.
Click to expand...

Kinda agree.

You should just run for the exit.

There are plenty of non-dramatic guys, who don't play those games, out there.
 
I know I'd run like hell.

You are both extremely young and not very experienced, but life is too short to invest in egocentric, confuses head cases.

Let him sort himself out.

Incidentally, I was a little dizzy from all the turning around, so I can just imagine you confused you are.
 
i dont really think im confused, i know full well im gay and so do my family and we are all proud of that, but its just at college im not, he is kinda emotionally weird, i.e skipping lessons, doing drugs (really), he told me the other week he did 7 ecstacy pills which just pushed me to believe he is an attention seeking lier, i even turned round and said 'one alone can kill ya'' and his response was ''omg, i took 7, the pack said recommended dose of 3-4'', hes probs confused about that and was actually referring to 7 alphabetti spagetti ''E's'', is it possible to only have a crush on someone because they is gay, because he is the only person atm that i know very well that professes to be?
 
Yes it's definitely possible to focus on someone just because he's the only guy you know for sure is gay or at least has professed it. And if he's half-way good-looking then a crush and even fixation is quite understandable -- you seem to know what you'd be letting yourself in for with him is basically going to be disappointment. It's not entirely clear, but it sounds like he's not shown interest in you, so either you don't trust him enough to tell him you're gay or else he just isn't so interested. Whatever the case, it doesn't seem you've got much to gain from being with him, unless you're willing to take the plunge, and are prepared to be disappointed and put it down to experience.
 
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