Older boyfriend issues

[riden3]

I'm 20, my boyfriend is 33. We've been dating since last Oct. with a month or so break between. He's a real nice guy and treats me very well, but we don't seem to have much in common...lots of silence between us. It's been 8 months or so and I'm still having the same issues as when we first started dating. I'm just not very comfortable hanging out with his friends because they are all older and they just talk about work and politics, more things I have nothing to talk about. I'm in college so it would be quite awkward bringing a 33 year old to a college party. Most of my close friends know about him but have never meet him because I'm just not very comfortable with it. I'm insecure, I know, but that is not what this is about. I don't see myself ever being able to bring him into my life and introducing him to my friends or family and I really don't like being with his friends. Only time I'm happy is when it is just me and him. My question is should I just move on until I find closer to my age I can be truly happy with or just be happy with what I got? Thanks.

 

[riden3]

I know we don't have to be best friends and all, but it seems all we talk about is the weather, his job, or his parents farm...my interests are mainly music, drugs, video games...We're from different generations and to me it's very obvious.

I don't really hang out with his friends much, I've already told him I'm not comfortable around them. He is great in the sense he is ok with us, even if he never meets my friends because he loves me, but I just can't see myself being serious with someone I can't bring into my life. I know I need to introduce him to my friends, but it's just so awkward. My friends commented how it was weird hanging out with a 25 year old once, can't imagine it would be different with a 33 year old. Plus my friends are kind of loud, do drugs, politically incorrect, and my boyfriend is always sober, quiet, and kept to himself...so I know it would be weird.

 

[youngnihilist]

Thats the issue of being with someone older. perhaps your own age might work better?

 

[rareboy]

I think you're over already as far as a long term relationship goes.

I assume that the sex is terrific though.

As long as each of you is getting something out of your current set-up, relax and enjoy it.

I'm sure that he figures the writing is on the wall.

 

[riden3]

Sex is ok...mainly because we do it bare. He doesn't rim or finger me, which is something I love, and expects me to bottom still but I don't like it. He doesn't like to use his tongue when we kiss, which I love, so that is kind of annoying.

I don't see our relationship maturing any more because of the limitations I've set on us, and although he says he is ok with it because he loves me, I want better for him, a boyfriend who can be involved in his life more.

And yes, I know I'm immature about this, but I'm 20, came out a year ago, and everyday wish I was straight. So it is hard for me having to hide that I'm gay my whole life, then finally get a boyfriend and have to hide him too...gets old and is really stressful.

 

[Puzuzzu]

Sex is ok...mainly because we do it bare. He doesn't rim or finger me, which is something I love, and expects me to bottom still but I don't like it. He doesn't like to use his tongue when we kiss, which I love, so that is kind of annoying.

I don't see our relationship maturing any more because of the limitations I've set on us, and although he says he is ok with it because he loves me, I want better for him, a boyfriend who can be involved in his life more.

And yes, I know I'm immature about this, but I'm 20, came out a year ago, and everyday wish I was straight. So it is hard for me having to hide that I'm gay my whole life, then finally get a boyfriend and have to hide him too...gets old and is really stressful.

What kind of a world do we live in??
You wish you were straight and have a bf, I'm proud and still a virgin, bf-less lad.

 

[riden3]

I know I am gay, and can't change it, doesn't mean I still want to be.

 

[chazman]

My boyfriend is older than yours. When
I have a difficulty or issue. I talk with
him about it. It has worked for us.
There have been many things we have
both had to adjust to, but if your in
love with someone. You work them out. Maybe you should examine whether or not you really love this man.

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, you know where you stand, then. You're with a guy with whom you don't have much in common, and you're having passable sex. If that's enough for you, fine. But you can almost certainly do better.

That is - if you want to. If you're still thinking life would be so much better as a heterosexual, you may not want to bother finding anyone better than what you've got now. It confirms your hypothesis, if nothing else.

>>>About his friends: as a wise man once said
"Talk to him
Not us
Him"

This guy sounds hot. You got his phone number?

Lex

 

[bokan800]

I'm 20

Your avatar says you're 26.

 

[arowanaboy2004]

I'm 46, my bf is 21. We have diff taste is music, he's into r&b, mine is alt rock, I don't like r&b that much but when we're together in the car, r&b music rules and I slowly learned to like it too. When we're in a bar, he orders lite beer, mine is pilsen, but now we always order lite beer all the time. You see, my opinion is there is nothing wrong if you need to adjust for you to be happy together. When you love someone, I think it's normal that you learn to appreciate what your partner likes and you therefore would like to do it too - I think that's love.

If you or your boyfriend would always have these differences, then there is something wrong with your relationship, one or both of you should learn to appreciate one's favorites, one or both of you, if you really care for each other, should adjust for this to work.

 

[Just_Believe18]

After reading everything you said about your relationship, I am having a hard time understanding why you are even together.

Age isn't the issue. It's the maturity and intellectual differences the two of you have. I'm around your age, but I find your boyfriend's personality more appealing.