Older men drama ughhhh

[Críostóir]

So I'm 19 going on 20, and I was dating a 59 year old man for about sixth months. We met online, on silverdaddies, and we started dating in September. I am a freshman in college...

Well...

I had to break it off. I didn't want to fall in love with someone I couldn't exactly tell my parents about (I mean, what would they think?)... but we really were in love. We're still friends (sort of with benefits ... I guess), but I really don't think I'm going to pursue a relationship with such an older man again. It's too much trouble...

Not that I'm not attracted to older guys still...

Any of you guys have this sort of dilemma?

Well since YOU broke it off, I'd call it more "young man drama."

I've experienced this from the other side, and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

 

[WYSIWYG]

Well the first problem is, "I didn't want to fall in love with someone I couldn't tell my parents about......" If this guy was around your age would you do the same thing? (Not tell your parents?)

The problem is with you. Your choice is to be with an older man, but your unwilling to handle the situation. And perhaps your parents don't know your gay either.

Please don't put your limitations on someone else whether they be your age, around your age, or younger. Life is to short to not enjoy it, be happy, have a relationship, or fall in love! Love knows no age limits! (Just ask my 31 year old husband!)

 

[Jory]

What is old 5 years difference? 10,15, or 20 years difference? Is it when you reach a certain age?

 

[Telstra]

So I'm 19 going on 20, and I was dating a 59 year old man for about sixth months. We met online, on silverdaddies, and we started dating in September. I am a freshman in college...

Well...

I had to break it off. I didn't want to fall in love with someone I couldn't exactly tell my parents about (I mean, what would they think?)... but we really were in love. We're still friends (sort of with benefits ... I guess), but I really don't think I'm going to pursue a relationship with such an older man again. It's too much trouble...

Not that I'm not attracted to older guys still...

Any of you guys have this sort of dilemma?

the age difference is huge, 40 years !!! If you enjoyed it, no body can stop you.

 

[nbs400]

hi i was 22 year when i met him.he was 45 .we have never get physical.but i love him so much.i can't live without talking with him any day.he also like me.he is chubby cut and straight.i've never tell him that i'm a bisexual.i'm single.i've told him that i love you by inner soul not physical attraction.we can manage and live in long term relation.doesn't matter what your friend and family thik.its your life .life and let live and live in your way.

 

[Storybook_Man]

I have one older guy that I am friends with, with whom I had sex with in the past. But all he did was blowjobs and rim jobs and that was for me and not him, I didn't mind it. But as time passed he stopped, and he says the reason why is because he thought that I was falling in love with him, which i most definitely wasnt.

But to this day we continue to be friends, but we have our differences. He is 65 and I am 23. We get in arguments over nothing and it supposedly started off with me most of the time. We are pretty much a married couple when it comes to arguements, but what gets me so upset and mad at him is his bringing up mine and his age difference which he is right about that. But he is the one starting it all (the arguements) and blaming it on me, so pretty much I have stopped talking to him. I would get more into detail but its tiring.

 

[Fat Tom]

It is a rather daunting task, and I've always thought about how I would tell my parents. "Hey dad! I know you probably hate the fact that I'm gay... Well, I'm going to go and throw some salt in the wound and introduce you to my boyfriend. This is the kicker, you could have gone to high school with him!"

 

[biguy732]

It is a rather daunting task, and I've always thought about how I would tell my parents. "Hey dad! I know you probably hate the fact that I'm gay... Well, I'm going to go and throw some salt in the wound and introduce you to my boyfriend. This is the kicker, you could have gone to high school with him!"

That is a bad situation. A friend of mine, her boyfriend was as old as her father and his oldest kid was only 9 years younger than her. The age difference was just too much for them to handle so they ended the relationship. When you have such a drastic difference in ages, it adds some complications to the scenario.

 

[Fat Tom]

I need to find a nice cub. I love older men, but I need someone I can bring around my friends, and have him relate to them as well. As well as someone I can bring around my parents with out it getting too weird.

 

[Storybook_Man]

It is a rather daunting task, and I've always thought about how I would tell my parents. "Hey dad! I know you probably hate the fact that I'm gay... Well, I'm going to go and throw some salt in the wound and introduce you to my boyfriend. This is the kicker, you could have gone to high school with him!"

I think its worse when it is his co-worker and someone he lent a large amount of money to lol... Thats my case.

 

[4older]

I've always been attracted to older guys and there was always the issue of not really having a lot in common. Assumed it was generation gap or whatver. Every relationship has some compromise but a lot of the guys I'd meet would try to "fix" me which gets very old after awhile. I'd much rather go see a metal band than sit through a 4 hour opera and they don't get that. At the end of the day if you don't have more than bed chemistry happening it's going to get old fast.

A few years ago met a guy that I actually had a lot in common with, and he happens to be a hot bear daddy that's got 22 years ahead of me. We both like live music, skiing, and sports....compromise was that I like dumb horror movies and he likes to go to art shows. Both had open minds so I've leared to enjoy some of the art shows and he's found out there's art in crappy and not so crappy horror movies. Anyway we've been together since we met, my friends and family think he's great and we get along and live together very well.

No need for drama there, if you're not comfortable showing this person to your family or having them hang out with your friends there is something more off than the age difference. It's probably harder to find someone wth a lot of similar interests that you have great chemistry with, but don't use the age thing as a crutch they're out there!

 

[sexsomniac]

I think its worse when it is his co-worker and someone he lent a large amount of money to lol... Thats my case.

I don't think its worst. What you need is a good analogy like a pawnbroker...you lent money..he didn't pay on time..so u take over him. its simple as that. lol

 

[bearinholland]

When I met the man whom I still consider my first great love, I was 29 and he was 59. To me that was quite a bit of a shock for about 5 minutes and then I decided to just go with the flow and enjoy this unsual love. Rolf (that was his name) told me something I always remembered. He did not believe in the idea of a lofe partner, someone who stays with you all your life. Basically because we all continually evolve and sometimes our relationships do not evolve along... Rolf used the term "life-phase partner" and that rang true with me. He was my first great love and I was his last... we always knew it would not last, because I would develop the need to attach myself closer to a partner, whereas he would gradually want to be more by himself... so after 5 years I met someone else... and the breakup with Rolf was without hard feelings... he even knew I had fallen for another man befroe I had realized it. We have always remained the closest of friends, we just did not have sex anymore. He passed away 5 years ago and I carry him within my heart.
What I am saying is: if you love this older man, just love him and don't worry about what others think and don't secondguess or overanalyze yourself. Being someone's life=phase partner is a great thing. Even if it is not the stupid myth of meeting "the One" guy. Anyone who ever loved will tell you that there is no suck thing... if you have loved and inspired love once, chances are you will do so again.

 

[pancake]

i guess just dont worry about what other people think about your relationships... do what feels right for you, and live your life accordingly. i think that is the most important thing i've learned.

 

[nuknuk]

So I'm 19 going on 20, and I was dating a 59 year old man for about sixth months. We met online, on silverdaddies, and we started dating in September. I am a freshman in college...

Well...

I had to break it off. I didn't want to fall in love with someone I couldn't exactly tell my parents about (I mean, what would they think?)... but we really were in love. We're still friends (sort of with benefits ... I guess), but I really don't think I'm going to pursue a relationship with such an older man again. It's too much trouble...

Not that I'm not attracted to older guys still...

Any of you guys have this sort of dilemma?

From the moment I realized I was gay, I also knew that I only liked "older" guys (starting at around 55, open ending). I was 21 by then.

I never told my parents I was gay, leave alone the "older-issue". I wanted to put it off until the day I met someone whom I could really call my boyfriend and tell them that I'm with him. It was easy, nobody in the hetero world expects someone who listens to Iron Maiden, watches Terminator and plays GTA to be gay!!!

When I was 26 I finally met someone. Totally my type, 53 by then. and after a few weeks, when I knew that it was something serious, I told my mom. The gay- as well as the age-part. She covered it well back then, although now I know that it was really bad for her, it took her quite a bit to get over it.
She did the rest for me, as I knew she would. She could not keep it for herself and told my dad and my siblings, which was what I had hoped for. So I did not have to do it.

It's been 5 and a half years now. We're still together. Of course my boyfriend doesn't really enjoy hanging out with my friends from back home, and my parents (although I think that they fully accept him as my gay daddy BF) have very different views on most things, I can say of myself that I am perfectly comfortable with myself. I did the right thing.

And that is also my advice to you:
The people you care about, tell them how you REALLY feel. They'll understand it, just BECAUSE they care!!!

And do not, if you are into older guys, try to find someone younger, just to please somebody!
Then you could get a girlfriend as well, imagine how pleased they would be by that!!!!!!!!!

GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT!!!
My boyfriend is about my parents' age. I know for a fact that not everybody likes it. But they have to accept it, because there's no alternative to it. And the most important thing
is that you have what you want.

Be yourself and you'll be accepted, probably more than when you put up some play...

 

[Críostóir]

GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT!!!
My boyfriend is about my parents' age. I know for a fact that not everybody likes it. But they have to accept it, because there's no alternative to it. And the most important thing
is that you have what you want.

Be yourself and you'll be accepted, probably more than when you put up some play...

Thank you for this story! Bright blessings upon you and your beloved.

 

[Storybook_Man]

I don't think its worst. What you need is a good analogy like a pawnbroker...you lent money..he didn't pay on time..so u take over him. its simple as that. lol

Ok, lets make it worse. I was 14 at the time, he was 41 lol...

edit: and no thats not a lie, so today he is 50 going on 51 ^^.

 

[Críostóir]

Ok, lets make it worse. I was 14 at the time, he was 41 lol...

edit: and no thats not a lie, so today he is 50 going on 51 ^^.

Now THAT I would have a problem with.