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Older-Younger Bi problem

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tinytim124

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Hi all, its my first post, but this forum seems to be one of the most helpful on the net. So here's my situation. Im a younger (22) bi-sexual guy who has always had an attraction to older men, usually between 30 and 60. Sexually I've never been with another man before, but have an extreme desire to do so. Just recently (over the past 2 months) an older, openly gay man has shown what I think is an interest in me. He is around 45 and I find him very attractive. Im no model, but Im in good shape and I wouldn't say ugly either. When out, he tells me detailed stories about his sexual past and asks alot about mine. The only problem is that I am not openly bisexual and he thinks I am straight. I think he may get the signals, but I cant be completely sure and do not want to ruin a friendship if he in fact isnt interested. How can I tell if he is interested sexually or only as a friendship? What's the most appropriate way to go about telling him, because I enjoy women as well, but would like to try him. Is it selfish to want both (I am not in a relationship by the way)? I know I will probably get alot of "just tell him" but I am nervous...its like a first crush all over again. Any advice from older/younger guys that have gone through this?
 
Try taking it slow... first, mention that you're a little curious, but don't make a big deal about it. I'll bet since he's already asked you about your history, he won't be freaked out by anything you tell him, but it's still probably a good idea to play it cool and let him ask you first about the kind of guys that turn you on (if he is interested, he'll ask). I like it that you're thinking about protecting your friendship first - it's pretty easy to find fuckbuddies, but it's pretty hard to find true friends.
 
As long as you continue to encourage him and "enjoy being with him" he won't let you go! Don't be in a hurry -- just enjoy the relationship and let it unfold gradually. In retrospect, many people find the seduction phase the most fun.
By the way, I am not only an older man who just aches for the company and contact with younger guys, but I am also bisexual and would totally love to form a lasting relationship with both a man and a woman at the same time. I think it could even be great for a woman to have two or three men loving her at once. Why not? I think this could really work for me -- could it work for you?
 
I agree with taking it slow. I can completely understand the feeling of wanting to see what will happen once you flip that light switch of telling him, but in my experience and looking at other relationships, the best of them are built on friendship. Not going to lie totally jealous, i have an older guy thing too and i'm 23. I mean you never know what inviting him over for a movie at your place and sharing the same couch could turn into. Not in a sexual nature per-say but just some nice cuddling in his arms or something. Nothing has to be said and nothing sexual has to happen. Kinda goes along with the seduction idea that ^ was talking about.

Anyways, keep us posted on what unfolds :-)
 
If he's telling you all this sexual stories, I don't think he thinks you're straight. He's trying to get you into bed.

So what are you waiting for? ;)
 
Lol yeah gay guys tend to be pretty cluey about if others are gay. Our gaydars really are wonderful :). Just a stare and a nod with another guy i hadnt even spoken to yet was enough to get a mutual understanding we were both gay...

ANYWAYS back to topic, i very much agree with Lube ^ if he is telling you about his sexual history chances are he was very much trying to entice you ;P
 
Hello all, thanks for all the advice. I figure I will take it slow, see where it leads and not force anything. I dont really want to ruin such a good friendship over the physical. But..I will say that we have been seeing each other quite a bit and he likes to come very close (face to face) when talking, interacting, etc...is this a sign he wants me to make the first move? I assume its different for each person/couple, but is it more appropriate for the younger person to make the first move in this type of situation? Anyone have some experience/opinion on this? I may go for it, but I don't want to end with an awkward pull away
 
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