RicanDAB
Batteries Not Included
Guys, I just got off the phone ...
I have you all to thank ... I DID IT! I can't believe I actually came out to my straight friend after so long worrying about it. And you know what? It feels as great as you said it would. It's indescribable!
Have to admit I stalled quite a bit with the yakking but I found an opportunity in the conversation to introduce the topic with one of those "speaking of which" lines. I then reminded him about that conversation we had on Thanksgiving and how he asked me whether I was dating anyone and I diverted the topic. The chat comtinued as follows:
ME: Well, I actually AM dating someone.
HIM: Oh really? Wow ... good for you!
ME: Yeah, thanks ... I'm actually dating a guy.
HIM: Oh? [shocked] .... really? I really had no idea.
ME: Yeah, I believe a lot of people may not.
HIM: Well, I guess I can't tell anyone anymore that you're NOT gay.
Apparently he had been deflecting inquiries from his wife about why I did not have a girlfriend yet and my friend was in good faith defending me by saying that I was a workaholic and was too busy to date. He also said that although he never suspected that I could be gay, he did always find that I was "softer around the edges" than the average high school jock but figured that I was just a nicer and more sensitive guy that most straights.
He then was like "Man, I have so many questions to ask, but I don't know how to even ask them." I assured him that now NOTHING would be too embarrasing for him to ask and that I would be completely open with him (after all he has been my friend for over 22 years). He did manage to ask interesting questions about how did I meet these guys and about HIV concerns and how long have I been dating men. But like clockwork, he DID ask about our mutual friend and I shared the fact that he too was gay and happily partnered for almost 10 years (thank GOD I got his OK beforehand to reveal .. I don't know how I would have handled the question otherwise).
Finally, I confided in him that he was the first person I chose to come out to this year because he was very important to me and I just did not want to continue hiding this very big part of my life from him, that I wanted to be able to share my happiness with him without any special packagings. He did assure me that this does not change anything between us and that he still loves me and cherishes my friendship as much as he always has. He did admit that he was still in a little shock and I understood that it was to be expected. He asked me if it was OK to tell his wife and I said of course ... it would not be right to do otherwise.
We as always promised to keep in touch.
I am still in my own state of shock ... waiting for this day for so long ... but I am nothing less than happy right now ... and now I feel better to go on and tackle this with my other friend. And you know ... it's easier when you don't start off saying that you're GAY.
To all you guys here who gave me courage:
... THANK YOU!
I have you all to thank ... I DID IT! I can't believe I actually came out to my straight friend after so long worrying about it. And you know what? It feels as great as you said it would. It's indescribable!
Have to admit I stalled quite a bit with the yakking but I found an opportunity in the conversation to introduce the topic with one of those "speaking of which" lines. I then reminded him about that conversation we had on Thanksgiving and how he asked me whether I was dating anyone and I diverted the topic. The chat comtinued as follows:
ME: Well, I actually AM dating someone.
HIM: Oh really? Wow ... good for you!
ME: Yeah, thanks ... I'm actually dating a guy.
HIM: Oh? [shocked] .... really? I really had no idea.
ME: Yeah, I believe a lot of people may not.
HIM: Well, I guess I can't tell anyone anymore that you're NOT gay.
Apparently he had been deflecting inquiries from his wife about why I did not have a girlfriend yet and my friend was in good faith defending me by saying that I was a workaholic and was too busy to date. He also said that although he never suspected that I could be gay, he did always find that I was "softer around the edges" than the average high school jock but figured that I was just a nicer and more sensitive guy that most straights.
He then was like "Man, I have so many questions to ask, but I don't know how to even ask them." I assured him that now NOTHING would be too embarrasing for him to ask and that I would be completely open with him (after all he has been my friend for over 22 years). He did manage to ask interesting questions about how did I meet these guys and about HIV concerns and how long have I been dating men. But like clockwork, he DID ask about our mutual friend and I shared the fact that he too was gay and happily partnered for almost 10 years (thank GOD I got his OK beforehand to reveal .. I don't know how I would have handled the question otherwise).
Finally, I confided in him that he was the first person I chose to come out to this year because he was very important to me and I just did not want to continue hiding this very big part of my life from him, that I wanted to be able to share my happiness with him without any special packagings. He did assure me that this does not change anything between us and that he still loves me and cherishes my friendship as much as he always has. He did admit that he was still in a little shock and I understood that it was to be expected. He asked me if it was OK to tell his wife and I said of course ... it would not be right to do otherwise.
We as always promised to keep in touch.
I am still in my own state of shock ... waiting for this day for so long ... but I am nothing less than happy right now ... and now I feel better to go on and tackle this with my other friend. And you know ... it's easier when you don't start off saying that you're GAY.
To all you guys here who gave me courage:
... THANK YOU!
