One Step Further

[kgmnkgmn]

Okay - So i am hoping this is an experience everyone can elaborate on and also give other advice.

so at a lunch restaurant today, my friends and i went to the counter to choose what sandwiches we wanted. The guy making the sandwhiches was gorgeous - total eye candy. and he was happy and smiling, and ( probably just me flattering myself) looking at me.

Ok, for one thing i just wanted to know how old he was. But that reminded me. For a situation like this, what do you say or do to lead things on ( to know how old someone is, hint to ask if they are interested, or anything to 'take it one step further.) Not being one to go around flirting at all, i am just curious, what do you do to make a hint. Or is this something that you let go, and just accept the eye candy and nice guy for the time being. (I am newly 18 btw)

?

 

[Txgoodoldboy]

You might say, "Didn't you go to (insert name of your high school)? What year did you graduate? (You can ask this, even if, he answers any school.)

Do the math, that should tell you how old he is. Plus, you can talk about school team, etc.

 

[G-Lexington]

^ Not bad.

Here are three good guidelines to chatting with someone.

1. Find common ground.
2. Use the common ground to find topics to discuss.
3. Questions are your best friend. Find a subject where the other person has knowledge that you don't.

This one's pretty much a no-brainer. Your common ground? You're at a sandwich shop together. And since he works there, he has knowledge that you don't. "You know, I've never eaten here." (If you have, say "I always order the same thing.") "I'd like to try something different. What do YOU like?" You can ask him questions about variations - "Can I get that with ham? You think that'd be good with extra onions?"

Obviously, don't monopolize him if there's a huge line behind you. But his answers should give a bit of a clue if he has any interest. If he looks happy to answer the questions, if he seems interested in chatting with you, that's a good sign. If he looks impatient, the smile seems forced, that might be a bad sign. Either way, you'll have made the attempt.

Lex

 

[Mike1984]

I used to work as a waiter when I was in college and I hope that if I'd been serving you I'd have been like this guy.. happy and smiling and looking at you, it's part of the job. But.. if he was flirting with you.. well.. what's wrong with flirting back? Are you worried about looking like an idiot?.. don't be, it's a ten times better than looking back when it's too late and wishing you'd made the first move.

 

[kgmnkgmn]

Ok, So i was a bit brave haha

So I DROVE back to the place that night... ya, he was already off work.

BUTTTTTT, I wasn't done there haha. So for some reason i broke out of my comfort shell and sent away this intimidating male manager by saying that my friend lost a cell phone earlier in the day. While he is in the back looking for the phone ( because i dont think i could have had the courage while a 40 year old man was around haha) i talk to the female coworker. I asked her what time she worked and she was there when the guy was. So i just casually asked, " hey, you know the guy that was stationed over there earlier? How old was he?" ( i couldn't believe what i was doing haha) . She told me the answer, and by that moment, the manager was back. nope the cell phone wasnt there... ( haha, because it doesn't exist haha) and i left.... as they obviously were talking about me as i left. I bet that guy got a few jokes the next day that a high schooler was asking about him haha.

Well, he is 23.... grrrr... def out of my league as a fresh 18 year old haha ( i think the limit subconsciously in my mind was 20 lol)
but i guess that isnt stopping me from some eye candy from time to time.

Thank you for all the advice and stories so far. It is great to get some perspectives from some other people with experience, if you will. For some of you older guys in your twenties... well, how annoying is it to have a teenager tracking you haha. ( as if i would ever find the courage to go back into the restaurant haha)

 

[mac_twck]

Why would you say he is out of your age range? Some of the most interesting people I know are 10 years older and younger than me. Do not dismiss someone just because of a number. You will end up missing out on a lot.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Look, it is your life and your decision. If you'd rather be dating dudes 18-20, go for them. This is your comfort zone and you want to be in it.

Keep in mind that whenever you choose to exclude anyone from your search for whatever the reason may be, you have EVERY RIGHT TO DO SO. Equally so, you are limiting your possibilities and chances. Exclusions always come at a high cost. Never fail to consider that factor, too.

Life is more often a very highly competitive race. Having someone on your side with a bit more experience, contacts, and possibly wider networks is invariably advantageous.

SC

 

[Mike1984]

Ok, So i was a bit brave haha

You did it.. that was more than a bit brave! I'm guessing you felt like a dickhead but at the same time really pleased that you went back. Who says he's out of your league? I don't know if it helps but I'm still going through the same kind of thing as you, so are other guys of all ages. Romance is not dead, never will be..

 

[youngnihilist]

I'm not a fan of old/young, but when I think of old/young it's 40+ with 20, not 23 with 18. If you're only comfortable with 18-20 though, you answered your own question.

 

[kgmnkgmn]

wow , you guys are awesome. thank you for the advice. it is motivating! keep it coming

 

[Love_chair]

Hey kgmnkgmn

Am glad you got the answers that you was looking for. Everyone has there own specific age range and there own rules to dating. Atleast now you don't have to wonder no more how old he is.

 

[kgmnkgmn]

ok,
next step:

I really want to go back in there and see if things can move along. I would love to have coffee or something with this guy.

here is the thing - i need advice.
first off, the guy probably doesn't remember me. How do I go in there and pretty much say more or less " hey, sorry for being forward, but would you ever consider going out for coffee or meeting up somewhere when you are off work. It would be great to get to meet you"...

I feel awkward just thinking about that haha. How do I move into things smoothly? give me advice. Obviously i need a crash course on the solid 'pick up' haha. ( esp. being the younger one in the equation.)

 

[mac_twck]

I think what you just said is perfect. I assume most people loved to be asked out.

Now go......

mac

 

[kgmnkgmn]

omg, really that bluntly?!

wow, i am nervous haha

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Having a plan is always a good idea.

How about the following superlame phrase:

'God, what a day? My best friend stood me up for tomorrow's blockbuster movie tickets. So, I've got to go alone?'

I mean, only you know, what's right but being too blunt and not providing for the dude to bail himself out graciously ain't too good either.

SC

 

[Gooey45]

lol dont put him on the spot at his job lol. Like people told you before become his friend first. Is very easy if the next time you go in there just order something make sure you are hungry and just ask him what he recomends from there you will see if he has interest .try to get a job there too like ask him how to get the job etc.. see if he tries to help you out by saying oh if you want the job ill get my manager to hire you and if he does follow through he is interested at least.then go from there.

 

[kgmnkgmn]

So I just saw a few episodes of QAF and let me say that they were hott. Of interest is the relationship between brian and justin. I didn't realize till i read later that brian is 29 in the show and justin is 17... woah.

inspiration lol

 

[capper269]

kgmnkgmn, you asked earlier whether older guys were "annoyed" (your word) if younger guys were checking them out... I can't answer for everyone, but as a 38 yr old myself, I'd be flattered as hell! Which, leads me to another point. When I was 18 (god that is 20 years ago, but doesn't seem like it), I had several guy friends who were considerably older than me. They weren't love interests, just really great friends. Yes, they were gay, I met them through a GLB network (I'm bi), but more importantly they were friends who I would have never made if I had put on an arbitrary age restriction. As time went on, by the time I was 21, if the opportunity had presented itself, I would have considered any of them for b/f status, because the age gap really didn't matter after all. I guess what I'm saying is, if you are attracted to someone, if they are attracted to you, if you make acquaintance and find that a relationship could work, go for it. Don't let a number stand in your way. At 18, if someone suggested that I get a 40 yr old b/f, I would probably have been initially grossed out, but that is because there is no real 40 yr old person being considered in that situation. If the right 40 yr old came around, then wouldn't it be unfair to both of us not to at least consider the possibility? If nothing else, a great friendship could be forged. I was certainly enriched by the knowlege and wisdom of the older guys I knew at that time in my life. Since you are now of 'legal' age, don't shutter your mind to the realm of possibilities of what may come about.