Deafening silence is perhaps the best way to describe the drive back to the cabin in Eastham. There was so much going through my mind and, I suspect, Duncan's too. The trip seemed to take an eternity and I was glad to be out of Provincetown.
"Want to get in the hot tub?" Duncan asked.
No!" I replied quickly, but upon second thought, "Okay. I think we do need to talk."
We shucked our clothes and slid into the warm water. It felt good and Duncan's naked body looked absolutely beautiful, so smooth and trim. What the hell drove me to go downstairs at Brian's with that hairy bastard biker?
We were silent for a few minutes before Duncan inquired in a barely audible whisper, "Did he fuck you?"
After a long pause I said, "Yes!"
"Why? Why would you go with that creep?"
"I was angry, angry with you. I saw you fucking that slut, Luis! TJ was hitting on me. Maybe I wanted to get even with you. I don't know....but it was a terrible mistake."
"Ooooh!" was all Duncan said. He moved close to me and put his arm around me. "I'm sorry, really sorry. I was wrong.", he added.
"You know Duncan. You asked why TJ? Well, when I was a teenager I used to jerk off all the time thinking about a biker dude in leather pants fucking me. Maybe that was why too. Some fantasy! It was more like a nightmare. It was awful."
"That's so wierd", he shouted.
"What's wierd?", I asked, puzzled.
"You fulfilling your teenage sexual fantasies with a biker dude. Well, me too, sort of. When I was in high school there was this one kid whom everyone swore was gay. He looked just like Luis - short, slender and a bit feminine. I didn't know him, but I sure was curious. That was before I realized that I was gay. In the few classes we shared I'd go out of my way to sit next to him. Then almost every night I'd hump my mattress dreaming about having him in bed with me. I never did anything with him, but when Luis asked me to dance I thought about that kid and got a hardon. Funny thing though. He wasn't even gay. Senior year he dropped out of school to marry a girl he had knocked up. Things sometimes are not quite like what the seem to be. Right?"
"Yeah, right!", I answered, laughing, "and I think you'd look incredibly hot in leather pants." I pulled Duncan to me and kissed him. "Still friends....boyfriends?" We both nodded and kissed again, passionately this time, before heading off to bed.