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online meetings

A

abababababa

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Hey. So I don't consider myself gay, I don't consider myself straight or else I wouldn't have had some of the thoughts I have had. I don't believe in labels. But while I am physically attracted to women, I'm sexually attracted to men as well.

I want to have sex with a man without the strings attached. Does anyone have advice for meeting people on craigslist/other dating websites?
 
Let's pretend I ranted about the "I don't believe in labels" bit for a couple paragraphs, and just get to your problem. :)

Yes, I have advice.

Be VERY clear about what you want, and what you want to do. Work on drafting your ad, and have it checked by at least one other person. (I'll do it if'n you want.) It should read something like this.

Male, 25, always been straight but interested in seeing what it's like with a guy. Looking for a man aged 20-35 to show me the fun and joy of man-on-man action. Interested in mutual j/o and oral to start with. Initial public meeting a must. Safe play a definite must.

Some points.

1. Yes, I just (sorta) gave you grief about the label thing, but calling yourself straight instead of "bi-curious" or some other term will immediately double the number of responses you get.

2. Be somewhat open about age and looks. Don't insist on a 21-22 year old, supermodel-looking bodybuilder with a 10-inch dick. Those guys don't need craigslist to get laid.

3. Be clear about what activities you'd like to try. That way, if they're not into any of them (or they specifically want something else), they can skip your post. And the ones that do answer will know what you're expecting.

4. Screen through your responses. Feel free to ignore anybody who says things like "I'll give you the fucking you deserve." You're looking for somebody who will make this fun AND hot for you.

5. Initial public meet-up is essential. Do not go straight to his house with your pants around your ankles. Meet him at a coffee shop or something. Chat with him awhile about what you'd like out of the encounter, and let him know about any concerns you might have. And ask what HE's expecting out of the encounter as well. Do NOT go straight from the public meet-up to have sex. Thank him for his time, go home, think it over, and then decide.

6. Safe play - absolute must. Condoms, lubes, always. If you've never used them, go buy some now and start practicing.

Lex
 
>>>The reality of a no-strings online hookup is that you'll be having sex with a stranger. Yes, it's shocking, but true! And 99% of your responses will be from other guys looking to meet up that day. I feel Lex's approach is better suited for if you're looking to begin a relationship.

I understand where you're coming from here, and I'd agree with it if we're talking about a guy who hooks up on a regular basis. Somebody like that will have developed some experience, and learned to recognize any danger signs. He'll also have some confidence enough to be able to say "This doesn't feel right - I'm gonna bail".

But when it comes to a "straight guy's" first time hook-up, I think the vetting process needs to be more thorough. Such a guy usually ends up trusting the other guy to know what he's doing, which if they leap straight into bed, can often lead to sore asses, hurt feelings, and trips to the STD clinic. The ideal candidate for this gig will be somebody willing to take some extra time to make him feel at ease, and make the experience as positive as possible. It's true that 99% (or so) of respondents will be guys who just want to tap that straight ass...which probably will end up not being very enjoyable for the OP. The public meet-up will make that 99% think "Screw it - I'll find somebody else"...leaving the 1% (or so) who actually DO want to do it right. :)

Lex
 
>>> I have to agree with Lex on all of the above :) You especially don't want to find a guy with a 10 inch dick especially if you are bottoming. I'd just make sure you meet somewhere public first just to confirm he looks like his pictures. <<<

~ D
 
my take is slightly different. im assuming that you have some maturity, common sense, and good judgement, even when youre horny.

- be clear that you are looking for nsa sex, and that you are inexperienced. i dont think its necessary to mention specific sexual acts.

- its stupid, but true: the "straight" label is like catnip to fags.

- have a picture of your face in your profile, or at least send one the moment you start communication with a guy who could be interesting. an honest picture, not a impossibly flattering, endlessly photoshopped one.

- on one hand: be realistic about your "league". hate that expression, but i think its clear what i mean.

- on the other hand: be proud. dont be desperate, dont go for anybody who treats you badly online, who strikes you as weird, who you have a bad feeling about. trust your gutt feeling.

- chatting: be honest but not rude. be upbeat and friendly. be gracious if youre being rejected, or if youre rejecting someone

- talk to him on the phone before you leave the house. just to get a feeling about him.

- have your own means of transportation.

- sad, but true: its not uncommon to be stood up. dont do it to others. if you want to bail, at least let them know with an honest message. ("i got scared, i cant do it. im really, really sorry")

- make your own decisions. dont let anybody pressure you into anything. you can leave anytime. ("sorry, im not feeling it", "sorry, this isnt working for me")

- use a condom for anal. dont swallow jizz.

- afterwards, dont make promises that you have no intention of keeping.
 
You can maybe try the hook up part on here? also there is an online dating website called adam4adam that focuses more on hook ups...
 
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