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open relationship

M

markah87

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Been with my partner for almost three years now. We've been through a lot together and i love him very much. However recently my mind has wondered and I feel like id like an open relationship. There is an 15+ age gap between us. Im sure its him i want to be with till the end of my days but if im honest im still young and feel like ive not done all that meet guys just for sex and its really playing around in my mind.

Open relationship is not really an option with him.. really hurt him by even the thought of the idea. If only I had a time machine and could go back do all that and then be faithful.

Any advise? besides i really have to think about what is it i want? lol.
 
I know nothing.....

But if you are sure you want to be with HIM till the end of your days, then why gamble your (and his) health?

Sometimes I just don't understand the Gay culture... I know I'll get flack over this, I'm sure. But I often wish I WASN'T Gay for this very reason.

I'd give anything to be in a monogamous relationship and not have to worry about getting tested.

Sigh.... but that's only my personal take on it. Don't feel offended.
 
Not offended what so ever. I always play safe. I was very much like you. Adamant i didnt need to sleep around, sure as hell i didnt want a string of guys who i barely know but sleep with compared to sharing something intimate and sacred with just 1 person.

Just feel wierd now. Having these feelings to sleep with other men - seperating love from lust and everything to be hunky-dory. But i thats not really reality.

we have a little family now too - we have three dogs together. Not sure why im willing to risk it all. I guess what im really lookin for is someone to say yeah everything will be fine dont worry. Sad really. oh well.
 
If you're only 22 or 23 (basing this off your username) and dating a guy about 40, I can see why you want to mess around some more before settling down! It's perfectly fine, you shouldn't be stuck so young!
 
meh yeah, there isnt anything wrong between us tho. sex is great, love is thru the roof. sigh, donno. just wana sleep with other guys for a bit a guess...
 
Then you're not ready to commit. If you know he doesn't want an open relationship, you either suck it up, or you end it.

Welcome to life as an adult.
 
Amen, the life of an adult, knowing that saying yes to something means saying no to something else. What you are going through is understandable. You need to talk to him if this is taking up a lot of your thinking time. I don't know much about open relationships, but imagine it could end up biting you in the ass. He'll be subject to the same rules. Seems to me that there are only four choices: status quo, opening the relationship, ending the relationship, or cheating.
 
yeah im not cheating and im doing everything i can to be completely upfront about it. only reason im even posting this is to find some other way to vent or express myself.
 
I agree with TX-Beau and soreknees. Either you work out an open relationship or you break up with this man you love. I promise you, this will eat you up year after year until something really bad happens. It won't go away.
 
it aint easy - just been thru the same issues with my partner. U gotta figure out whether he is the one for you - mine's the one 4 me 4 sure. Its painful but if thats what ur feelin then u need to discuss it, set rules and move forward together
 
I'm curious what your boyfriend was like in his late teens/early twenties. it's a time of great exploration for a lot of guys - maybe you can get him to remember what it was like for him.

I'm also curious about the power dynamic in your relationship. You may be with a truly monogamous soul - that way in both his early twenties and now. only about half of the guys you know are like that, and you're wise to do what you need to do to hang onto him if you feel the same way. that said, sometimes an older guy will exert undue influence in a relationship with a young guy - even when it's kind and not psychotic. if that's the case here, and there are other examples where you find yourself forming yourself to his expectation, you need to talk to him about it.
 
I have done all that meet guys just for sex a lot but since I know what is love

I'd give anything to be in a monogamous relationship and not have to worry about getting tested.
 
Talk to your partner.

Get this out into the open.
 
Audio Tech said:
Sometimes I just don't understand the Gay culture... I know I'll get flack over this, I'm sure. But I often wish I WASN'T Gay for this very reason.
Click to expand...

But then what if you were straight and were in the same predicament but it was with a girl? My friend said the reason he avoids relationships is because of the same reason
 
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