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Open relationship?

M

monkeyboy01

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Hey i need some advice so i thought i would come here.

Ive been with my other half for just over a year and now and then when watching programs to do with open relationships we have discussed it. I mean not doing it but how would it work. e.g. he said he would not mind me sucking someone's cock etc because he knows i am gonna come how to him at the end of the day. I was honest and said if someone presented me with the opportunity i dont know what i would do.

we see each other on weekends and twice during the week so i said would never sacrifice our time together to do anything like that etc. Someone has message me on a website who can pick me up etc and I could do some stuff.

Now when we did talk about it i am not sure if he was being hypothetical. I really love him and don't want to anything to change what we have but i am so horny and he hasn't got the sex drive i do. i cant get what he said out of my head. My question is do i have a SERIOUS conversation about the issue or are open relationships bad..

He knows i have a high sex drive etc but if I talk to him i fear he will think he is not enough. I am not doing it cos he's not enough its because i am bored and love cock. If he said no i don't want to do this i would be fine with that but i worry he will say yes because he feels he has to or just having the Serious conversation will ruin our relationship...

Also what's the rules for this, i mean if you other half ask what your doing do u say i am out having sex with this other guy please help!

PS
i had a bad experience where my x said he didn't mind if i had sex with my X b4 that lol(we were going on holiday together booked b4 i got with new x) and i did and he cared and well got mad we didn't break up because of that but that was annoying like a test. So i don't want my current BF to test me i am scared what the right option is!

PLEASE HELP!
 
Open relationships aren't always bad...

They can have benefits however you BOTH have to sit down and have a serious conversation...

Before jumping into opening it see what you both can do to improve what you already have... meaning see if he can step up the sex a bit more. Give a little and take a little. Work on yourselves first... opening it...especially in this scenario... should be a last resort. Because honestly... who would you rather have sex with... him or some random stranger?

As for rules... you BOTH have to agree to them... make a list of certain rules you would want to adhere to and he does the same then eighty-six the ones you can both agree aren't helpful.

And whatever you do DON'T push him into this... if he's only doing it to appease you then soon resentment starts to settle in and you might as well just be single again.
 
we have talked bout sex b4 he says he not got the drive but it not just about that I do like have a variety of cocks to suck without sounding like slut. Is it really the last resort?
 
I'm not sure I understand the situation.

From what I understand, you have a higher sex drive than him. You've discussed an open relationship, and he seems open to the idea. The basic premise being that you can fool around with other guys, but that such "extra-curriculars" won't interfere with your time together. Which sounds like a good plan. You might want to discuss it further - does he want to know each time you hook up with somebody? Is there anything he doesn't want you to do? Does he want to know details? Does he want to know the guys?

But now you sound freaked out about it. Because maybe he didn't mean it? Well, I doubt he'd only "hypothetically" suggest you hooking up with other guys...and then say "I didn't mean REALLY do it!" But feel free to ask.

Are open relationships a bad idea? No. But they're not for everyone. It's going to come down to two things - the personalities of the two people involved. It sounds like he's cool with idea, and in absence of any other suggestions, I'd take that at face value. So now we're down to you. How do YOU feel about it? Are you very concerned that seeing other guys will somehow lessen your relationship? Do you worry about falling for one of these other guys? Are you the type to view sex very emotionally rather than just physically? If you answered "yes" to those, I'd say you might want to forgo the open relationship, and stick with jerking off when your libido is stronger than his.

Lex
 
it would just be sex so no dating so i don't see how i can fall for guys and a am more that happy with my other half.

I was gonna discuss it when i see him tomorrow but i don't know as i said if i bring it up as a real conversation if just having the convo will change our relationship or effect him
 
You've talked about it before. So just bring it up in context of that. "We talked earlier about me possibly hooking up with other guys. I want to make sure that if I do that, it's something you're going to be cool with. Like, for example, did you want me to tell you about them afterwards? Or would you rather I just not talk about it at all?"

Lex
 
but do you think if i bring it up as real discussion that might change things. Also we only talked about if in a club etc scenario not internet meeting not sure if there should be much difference
 
Well, it does sound like you're at least interested in giving it a go (assuming your guy is OK with it). Given that, just go with what you were originally told, and take it from there.

"I was thinking about something you said earlier. About being OK with it if I were to hook up with another guy I met at a club, so long as it didn't interfere with our time together. Would you really be cool with that?" If he looks uncomfortable with the idea, or backpedals, then assume that he wasn't really all that cool with the idea. In which case, you can just smile and say "See, I didn't think so. So I wanted to be sure." But if he says sure, he's cool with it, then perhaps test the limits. I wouldn't say PUSH - you're not trying to push him past his comfort zone - but see exactly what he IS comfortable with. And feel free to tell him that. "So you wouldn't have any issue with me hooking up with a guy? Because yeah, that interests me, but not at the risk of jeopardizing our relationship."

Lex
 
You might want Lex along as your Cyrano de Bergerac.
 
No thanks. I might end up with all the hook-ups. And I ain't interested in them. :)

Lex
 
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