Good idea/Bad idea to have a regular fuck buddy in one?
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Open Relationships
- Thread starter MakeDigitalLove
- Start date
Zeno Lorea
JUB Addict
My hubby and me just go to sex clubs, bath houses and the like. Together or on our own. We don't look for regular fuckbuddies, but sometimes we get to know someone a little better and meet him more often. But we don't receive them at home, we fuck on no man's land.
Also, if you have a regular trick and the sex is good, make sure not to become friends with him. It ruins the sex.
Also, if you have a regular trick and the sex is good, make sure not to become friends with him. It ruins the sex.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
Completely depends on the personalities of all three participants. If X & Y agree to an open relationship, and if Y and Z are not prone to "catching feelings" with their fuck buddies, it can make things pretty easy. If Y does tend to start bonding with the guys he has sex with, it's probably best to stick with hook-ups.
Lex
Lex
E
eastofeden
Guest
Many years ago we had three ways with a handful of guys...one guy in particular was a 3 year visitor and I encouraged my husband to spend time alone with him so he could trust his own feelings and sexuality and know the difference between lust and love. I wanted him to understand that guilt and shame were crap organized religion made up to control their followers and gay people should have the wisdom and integrity to own it since we weren't bound to the whole virgin thing anyway...
I didn't want a man who is bound by shame and guilt or some silly standards of purity and cleanliness. I want a man who knows who he is and is fearless....and sometimes a little experience does the trick
....
Living in the truth about things makes guilt and shame obsolete...and straight people often lie to themselves and each other about everything....especially when they hide their desires from themselves and then lie about them...
I already had a shitload of experience and he had very little...I wanted him to be able to understand and appreciate the significance of lust and own it so it didn't own him.....
I didn't want to give him away..I wanted to keep him.
I didn't want a man who is bound by shame and guilt or some silly standards of purity and cleanliness. I want a man who knows who he is and is fearless....and sometimes a little experience does the trick
....Living in the truth about things makes guilt and shame obsolete...and straight people often lie to themselves and each other about everything....especially when they hide their desires from themselves and then lie about them...
I already had a shitload of experience and he had very little...I wanted him to be able to understand and appreciate the significance of lust and own it so it didn't own him.....
I didn't want to give him away..I wanted to keep him.
Thanks for the replies.
My boyfriend seemed a little put off at the possibility of me seeing the same guy again. When the only reason for me is that he has nice dick, a nice body, and it was fun. It's all about the sex for me and nothing more. I think he is having a hard time with correlating that seeing the same person again means there are feelings. And there isn't.
My main rule with him was that I would never do anything with other guys that we considered intimate. Because of course that's not what it is about.
My boyfriend seemed a little put off at the possibility of me seeing the same guy again. When the only reason for me is that he has nice dick, a nice body, and it was fun. It's all about the sex for me and nothing more. I think he is having a hard time with correlating that seeing the same person again means there are feelings. And there isn't.
My main rule with him was that I would never do anything with other guys that we considered intimate. Because of course that's not what it is about.
E
eastofeden
Guest
^^^^
One of the things I did for my husband at the beginning was I asked him what his biggest fantasy was and what kind of guy was his biggest fantasy.....
I think I had alot of wisdom and either I did or didn't LOL.....I was willing to be wrong though..I always am...so despite multiple friend's advice..every one of them thought I was stupid because they thought my husband was "hot" and I shouldn't let him go....I considered what they said but I disagreed......
I think you shouldn't clip someone's wings...I think you should let them fly instead. If they weren't meant for you...they might fly away. Worrying about that though is a time waster and can make people crazy so it is worth the risk IMO....
I also think it is a big job to be "the best" and I really don't want to be "the best". I want to be who I am..the best version of myself....and people who want to be the best at sex or the best looking guy spend alot of time comparing themselves to everyone else...I would rather compete with myself..not anyone else. I don't really understand competing with someone else anyway since they have to be who they are and you have to be who you are...seems stupid to me to compare yourself to anyone else really....
I got my husband "that guy" though..it was one of my old sex partners. I knew ALOT of guys from working in a gay club and getting around alot myself so I had a mental rolodex ready LOL He was...uh...an 11 on a scale of 1-10. He was 97% of what my husband described as the perfect "lust" partner.....I used to call the guy sex a-on a stick for a nickname...
It was sexy later when he told me about it and how turned on he was. I love hearing how turned on he is about anything. Have you tried that? Does it turn him on to know how turned on you are? That is the great thing about love IMO. If you really love someone...it should make you happy to know they are so turned on. I would NOT like it if he was intimate with someone else though....lust is cool though
One of the things I did for my husband at the beginning was I asked him what his biggest fantasy was and what kind of guy was his biggest fantasy.....
I think I had alot of wisdom and either I did or didn't LOL.....I was willing to be wrong though..I always am...so despite multiple friend's advice..every one of them thought I was stupid because they thought my husband was "hot" and I shouldn't let him go....I considered what they said but I disagreed......
I think you shouldn't clip someone's wings...I think you should let them fly instead. If they weren't meant for you...they might fly away. Worrying about that though is a time waster and can make people crazy so it is worth the risk IMO....
I also think it is a big job to be "the best" and I really don't want to be "the best". I want to be who I am..the best version of myself....and people who want to be the best at sex or the best looking guy spend alot of time comparing themselves to everyone else...I would rather compete with myself..not anyone else.
I don't really understand competing with someone else anyway since they have to be who they are and you have to be who you are...seems stupid to me to compare yourself to anyone else really....I got my husband "that guy" though..it was one of my old sex partners. I knew ALOT of guys from working in a gay club and getting around alot myself so I had a mental rolodex ready LOL He was...uh...an 11 on a scale of 1-10. He was 97% of what my husband described as the perfect "lust" partner.....I used to call the guy sex a-on a stick for a nickname...
It was sexy later when he told me about it and how turned on he was. I love hearing how turned on he is about anything. Have you tried that? Does it turn him on to know how turned on you are? That is the great thing about love IMO. If you really love someone...it should make you happy to know they are so turned on. I would NOT like it if he was intimate with someone else though....lust is cool though
Zeno Lorea
JUB Addict
Does your boyfriend fancy your fuckbuddy? In that case, maybe you should share the fuckbuddy, or help your boyfriend find one for himself. Either way, empathize.
He doesn't want to be involved, lol. And I do understand where he is coming from. We have been together almost 12 years and we are very open about how we feel on literally everything so no grudges are ever held. I know he trusts me and I would never betray that trust, especially in a situation like this.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
I'd say if your boyfriend has an issue with it, your best bet is to look elsewhere.
Lex
Lex
LeicsDom
JUB Addict
The only way they work is if both parties want the same thing
This is definitely fine by me, the relationship with him is more important than what I can get in a sea of dicks.
I understand and if things started to bother him I would stop seeing people altogether. I asked him several times before seeing anyone if he was okay with it and he said he was. If this change then so would I.