Opinions?

[electricchapel]

I agree with what you said MrRochester.
I do over analyse, and I do it way too much.

Dave, congratulations man, that's some really good news! I hope it goes well!
I didn't talk to him because he was with some of his friends from his course, and he left after a few minutes.
Now, yes, he does like me, that's incredibly obvious now, I don't know why I thought any different.
We're gonna need to organise something else, I'm just worried I'll seem pushy.

 

[chance1]

i just read this whole thing - i feel for you

I think you have the go ahead to "go for it"

what's the WORST that can happen?

no worse than now - with you not knowing and so out of sorts about it

no guarantees in life

but as they say - half of life is just showing up

good luck

 

[electricchapel]

Well I was just talking to him, he ignored my first text but then I sent anted asking if he was still interested and if this was going I go anywhere.
He said he wasn't sure, he doesn't know if he's on the rebound or not.
He says he's over the other guy, but he isn't ready to even kiss someone else.
He apologised to me.
Now I don't know what to do.
The first guy that showed some form of Internet, and I had some in him, is now not ready?
Are you kidding me?
Is my life for real?

 

[Robbert]

Get more into his personal life. I'm a master of fucking with minds though I'm an emotianal wreck myself . A guy appreciates it when you make nice comments about him. Get to know everything about him and eventually take him out for dinner or make It romantic in any kind of way. If I had a guy like you you would have gotten your first kiss with first blowjob and fuck. Be more personal in your chats show him that you love and care about him and that you clearly want 'something' or you could just kiss him when you feel is appropriate. I feel pretty much sorry for you that he keeps you waiting for so long.

 

[Robbert]

But yeah I'm pretty much really desperate I would fuck everything with a dick

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Electricchapel,

So you told us: "He says he's over the other guy, but he isn't ready to even kiss someone else. He apologised to me."

Well, take your time and be that very good and very understanding friend who can understand very well that he needs time and air and emotional space to find a secure place in his mind for his feelings in relation to his ex.

And maybe he will need some weeks, or maybe even a month or longer, before he is 'ready' and before he can start to kiss you, and things like that.

So on the one hand, I can understand your feelings very well (you want to know how he feels about you), but I tend to think that you should take more care about his ideas and his feelings.

Towards my opinion, its very normal that people need time and space to recover from a former relationship. And people are not equal to each other, and this also will mean that some people need more time (weeks / months), whereas other people only need a few days.

Bottomline: stay a very understanding friend of him, and understand that he needs some space and time. So don't push too much.

Hey man, he really likes you, so why not take some time.

Best wishes, and feel free to ask for additional advice.

 

[electricchapel]

Thanks for replying!

I understand all that, and I half-heartedly agree with you.
I just don't understand why he couldn't have said anything before he told me he 'was interested' and before he said that I make him nervous and before he agreed to go out the first and second time.

I would love to be there for him, but how do I know that that won't hurt me in the process too? Watching him possibly getting with some other guy for a 'rebound.'
I just don't know what to do!

 

[TX-Beau]

Yes you do, you just don't want to do it. You want to talk this to death, to analyze it into oblivion, to second guess his motives, to reflect on his state of mind, to do everything but what you know you should do.

Leave it alone. This is only drama if you make it drama. He doesn't know what he wants, he's sending mixed signals? Welcome do dating, and if you do this with every flaky guy who comes along you're just making grief for yourself.

Be his friend, talk to him online - but don't push and don't expect and don't wait interminably by the phone wondering what oh what is he thinking. That's just kind of sad.

Help yourself, back off until he decides, and if that isn't you, well, dodged a bullet there.

 

[electricchapel]

Thanks man, I agree with you.
I feel better, I don't see the point in it now.
It's not anyone's fault, and shit happens.
I've got college to concentrate on anyway which is far more important than some guy.
I was lucky with this!

 

[electricchapel]

Just thought I'd explain the conclusion to this.
Well, I found out recently, that the day my guy told me I was interested, he was on a date with a guy from MY drama class.
On top of that, when a close friend of mine asked him about that date, my guy said that he's got another three dates coming up.
So, from this, he went on a date with me, and a guy from my drama class in the same week. Just a few days apart.
Along with that, he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship but he's seeing other guys.
The same week I found out he was flirting with another gay guy I know that I'm pretty close to.

My friend was at rehearsals when he was and they were all talking about dates, he told them all that he makes excuses up so he doesn't ever need to pay so he gets a free meal.

It's safe to say that this guy is a slut with no respect for people.
I am beyond glad that nothing did happen.
Thank you all for your help and replies, it really did help me.

 

[thongboi]

It's safe to say that this guy is a slut with no respect for people.
I am beyond glad that nothing did happen.
Thank you all for your help and replies, it really did help me.

C'mon now. He's not a 'slut.' There's a difference between going out on dates with people and sleeping with people.

He could just be 'playing the field' so to speak and really does like you. Don't write someone off just because they're doing what he was/is doing. It could all be part of his 'rebound' phase.

 

[subsonic]

C'mon now. He's not a 'slut.' There's a difference between going out on dates with people and sleeping with people.

He could just be 'playing the field' so to speak and really does like you. Don't write someone off just because they're doing what he was/is doing. It could all be part of his 'rebound' phase.

I don't think he meant in it literally - he's just hurt and is venting out.

Hey, I say good you dodged the bullet. I'm sorry that you had to experience this but I hope you learned something from it. Don't invest too much in things too early. The only way you can really get to know a person is by dating him in real life, talking etc.
I was just like you - overanalyzing everything to bits and pieces. Don't do it - it's just a waste of time and you will never be able to know how a person really feels/thinks.

Love is like gambling with very high stakes. But if you never gamble you never win.

Best of luck in the future to you.

 

[electricchapel]

Oh no I don't think he likes me, he only ever smiles at me, we don't talk anymore, the last few times I've tried conversation he was incredibly blunt.
So whatever I guess, it took its course!

And about calling him a slut, I didn't mean it literally no, but I just wish he didn't lie to me, but it his choice so he can do what he wants.

 

[Racer Dave]

Sorry it didn't work out, but by the sounds of it just as well.

Oh well onwards and upwards as they say