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Outing someone as a revenge

Revenge may be sweet. However, it also can occasion a ferocious battle. What makes you think that you can out him without him knowing or suspecting that you did that to him? And if he is as vicious a person as you say he is, then he will surely come after you if he suspects you. And if that happens, then your revenge will turn into a horrendous nightmare. In most cases revenge starts a furious battle rather than simply inflicts a wound and then delivers closure. And this is because most people seeking revenge do not think to look past the "joy" of inflicting pain to see that the consequences that their conflicting pain will occasion--to see that their victim of revenge will surely respond. This is why revenge rarely works in the end.
 
SellMeCandy said:
Don't respond until you've truly read everything. I'm absolutely against outing myself but I'm so tempted to do so with this particular guy. Well, more than tempted, I'm halfway done with the plan.

The guy is the lowest human being I've ever met. Insensitive, liar, cheater. Truly worthless. The whole baggage got to me. He never apologized or showed ANY type of remorse. Most of you probably think "that's just your side of the story" but I never hurt him on any level at all, there is no other side to it. I'm currently being ignored because I found out he was cheating. How ridiculous is that? Not only am I not getting an apology, I'm out of the way . Hell he never gave a damn... he just called me when he needed sex and even then he would complain about it. I was stupid too but that's not an excuse.

I'm seriously considering outing this douche. I have no doubt at all he deserves it. But because I'm WAY too nice, I'm thinking "what if his parents get a heart attack or something"... I never even met them but you know. I'm also not sure about Karma (even though he wouldn't know I outedhim). That's really the only reason I'm asking you guys. Whether he deserves it or not is not even a question

Can't think of any other revenge and I kinda want to get it out of my system.
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What revenge??
Are u his husband? If not, he can do what ever he want & u can do what ever u want, full stop.

No revenge is needed.
 
Yours actions would be highly immature if going forth with your "plan."

I think your time would be better spent figuring out a plan on coming out yourself.
 
So he called you when he wanted sex.
You gave him sex.
He bitched about it.
And when he called back, you (ahem) took him back in again.
You found out he was having sex with other people, and confronted him about it.
So he dumped you.

The guy doesn't exactly sound like a nice guy, sure, but I don't see anything beyond that. Did he swear you were the only one? Did he lead you to believe you were a couple? It sure doesn't sound like it.

Sure, go ahead and out him. Then he'll get the reputation as being a homosexual, and you'll get the reputation as a jilted lover that people best beware of.

Lex
 
[-X

Take the high road and move on

Outing him - come on, you're better than that
 
SellMeCandy said:
I knew you guys would tell me how I should take the high road and how I should be above revenge, but honestly those are just pretty words as I see it. Taking the high road was never satisfying to me. It's more harmful to keep the hate inside. It's not like I planned to kill him, just simply make him feel uneasy and a little hateful. Have him on the same team.
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When you read through the posts on this forum over time, you see how people waste time and energy focusing on negative things and dead-end streets. That wasted energy can be in the form of abusive relationships, letting guys use them, chasing after straight guys, finding ways to get even... all sorts of things.

What typically happens is that they find the quick fix- sex, revenge, spite, etc and it makes them feel better.

Then a month later, they're back because the quick fix never resolves the issue- they're back to being angry, hurt and they repeat the same stupid mistakes over and over and over again.

So, do what you need to do but at some point, hopefully you'll discover that the only way to really end the hurt and the anger is to let it go and move on.

And that, SellMeCandy, is what I wish for you.
 
KB's hit on something there. Why waste time "getting back at him"? Doesn't that just prove he's important to you? Why bother shouldering the burden of resentment, when you can just dump it right here, say "fine - fuck him - I ain't carrying this around anymore", and focus all your time and energy into getting into a good relationship?

They say the best revenge is a life well lived. And it's true. No, it doesn't make for good reality TV, but it maximizes the pleasure in your life. And isn't that what's most important?

Lex
 
Outing someone as revenge or otherwise is never appropriate.

Im in the military and trying to keep my personal life private can be very hard. Im always so worried that my straight friends will out me if they find out I'm gay, but its the gay friends that know you are gay that you have to worry about...

I found out a few hours ago that I have been outed to a number of people, people I care deeply about, and at the end of the day I know they will love me for me, but it was my right to tell them if i had decided to tell them at all.

Being gay, we all know the strugles of coming out as a gay man or woman, so why would anyone who is gay themselves out someone else? I don't get it!

SellMeCandy....
If you are so determined to get revenge, then fine, no one here can stop you, but I only ask that you seek another means of revenge, because outing someone is not cool, not cool at all dude.
 
I'd say screw good manners and out him, but he may out you too, couldn't him?
I mean unless there's a reeeeeally great plan, he will probably think first of "the cheated guy".
You should really think about that.
 
Harke the Heretic said:
It would depend on the situation. If the closeted person had a habit of using out homosexuals and then discarding them like so much used toilet paper, I'd think it would be very appropriate if they got outed, even if they lost their job because of it.

Such is the price of being closeted.
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NO!

It would not depend on the situation...

If you are an open homosexual, open hetrosexual, open whatever, you have the right to pick and choose with whom you sleep with. If you are bed hopping then what are you expecting? Now if you take the time to build a relationship with someone only to find out their true motives, then its sad, but still not a reason to out someone. And if you are outing someone so that they lose their job then shame on you. That is truly sad.
 
out as you would be outed.

are you dying? are you ridden with cancerous growths? is alheitzheimers suddenly taking over your mind? what the fuck asshole?

ok, so it was not a moment in paradise after all. ok so disneyworld turned out to not even be disneyland. its a 2 way street and i'd like to know what the traffic flow in his direction has to say.

if you out him you are a 1st class...no make that a ROYAL cunt in my book and all my sympathy will go to his side because you have proven to be a VINDICTIVE bitch.

hey, so your eggs don't fry in the same pan...switch burners, hell, switch stoves. BUT don't try to fry the eggs in the other pan. MAKE SENSE??????
 
KaraBulut said:
When you read through the posts on this forum over time, you see how people waste time and energy focusing on negative things and dead-end streets. That wasted energy can be in the form of abusive relationships, letting guys use them, chasing after straight guys, finding ways to get even... all sorts of things.

What typically happens is that they find the quick fix- sex, revenge, spite, etc and it makes them feel better.

Then a month later, they're back because the quick fix never resolves the issue- they're back to being angry, hurt and they repeat the same stupid mistakes over and over and over again.

So, do what you need to do but at some point, hopefully you'll discover that the only way to really end the hurt and the anger is to let it go and move on.

And that, SellMeCandy, is what I wish for you.
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Thats a great advice for everyone and not just SellMeCandy.
 
I agree. All the talk about the high road is just so many pretty words.

Go ahead.

Out the guy.

His parents may or may not have a heart attack. Whatever.

Let us know how you feel once you've done it and whether it was worth it.
 
Telling people somebody is a fag is the worst you can think of to get back at someone?

I don't understand how letting people know somebody is gay can be considered revenge..... but as a gay man I find it quite offensive that you think that a persons homosexuality is a negative thing.
 
rareboy said:
I agree. All the talk about the high road is just so many pretty words.

Go ahead.

Out the guy.

His parents may or may not have a heart attack. Whatever.

Let us know how you feel once you've done it and whether it was worth it.
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bad advice.
 
>>>hey, so your eggs don't fry in the same pan...switch burners, hell, switch stoves. BUT don't try to fry the eggs in the other pan. MAKE SENSE??????

Um, not to me.

But even I could tell rareboy was being sarcastic.

Lex
 
Well, this is gonna sound cold-hearted, immature, and ass-hole-like, but i would totally out him.
Yea, the right thing to do would be to move on...i kno. And i do know right from wrong, but I would totally do the wrong thing in this case. Call me a jerk, call me an ass hole, i wouldn't care. I guess i'm just a vengeful person, but i like to take Karma into my own hands.
I was outed once, by my own friend my senior year in high school. I felt so horrible, i wanted to switch schools!! So...If someone were to piss me off, i'd like to inflict dat kind of damage upon them. haha.
 
SellMeCandy said:
Another concern of mine is that I'll be doing him a favor because I don't think this loser plans to ever come out.
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to me, that's really enough reason to not do it. if he's that bad, let him rot :D
 
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