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Outted At Work

  • Thread starter Thread starter Martkell2007
  • Start date Start date
I understand what you are saying Rick and I agree. I DID expect it to come out eventually. However, the issue isn't with me being outted, it's with the person who outted me. No one believes what he is saying and they all say I should physically attack him. I know I need to talk to him about it, but I feel it will only worsen the issue. It doesn't help that I don't trust gay people.

Being out of the closet isn't as black and white as you think. I don't mix my personal life with business, so discussion of my sexuality at work, whether I'm gay, straight, or transgender doesn't bode well with me. That's why I care he outted me - I wish to know why my personal life is on his tongue so often. Whether it's because he likes me or has no life, I wish to know.
 
Martkell2007 said:
I understand what you are saying Rick and I agree. I DID expect it to come out eventually. However, the issue isn't with me being outted, it's with the person who outted me. No one believes what he is saying and they all say I should physically attack him. I know I need to talk to him about it, but I feel it will only worsen the issue. It doesn't help that I don't trust gay people.

Being out of the closet isn't as black and white as you think. I don't mix my personal life with business, so discussion of my sexuality at work, whether I'm gay, straight, or transgender doesn't bode well with me. That's why I care he outted me - I wish to know why my personal life is on his tongue so often. Whether it's because he likes me or has no life, I wish to know.
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You said he wanted to be friends on the site after he outted you at work. Maybe the reason he mentioned it at work was because he had an interest in you and thought that might get your attention. It doesn't sound like he did this maliciously at all, but I can understand why you wouldn't like him doing it also. Like I said, I wouldn't care if it happened to me, if someone wants to talk about my sexual orientation behind my back, it doesn't bother me. He didn't really have any business saying anything about it at work, but it seems almost like he just was trying to get the ball rolling and might have been too nervous to approach you or something.
 
Both of you made mistakes: you for posting your picture on a gay mens' Web site; him for not being discreet in an environment that calls for adult, professional behavior.

The answer is to make up your mind -- are you remaining closeted to your coworkers? If yes, make nothing of this for the time being -- and it should pass. If you decide you're going to come out, decide on doing it under your own terms, and be cautious regarding whom is around.
 
We could go back and forth about how you messed up or how he messed up; however, it's irrelevant to this situation.

Parker is participating in sexual harassment by making you feel uncomfortable and for spreading his observation. It doesn't matter if you're gay or not, or if he is. Many companies have a zero-tolerance policy for any form of sexual harassment, in addition to federal and state laws.

Parker has placed his job in jeoparody. If the company you work for does not terminate Parker, you can file a sexual harassment lawuit against your company (and they will know this).
 
He didn't really have any business saying anything about it at work, but it seems almost like he just was trying to get the ball rolling and might have been too nervous to approach you or something.
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True. I'm far from attacking Parker with sexual harassment charges. Over the past few days I realize I still like him. I gave him the cold shoulder for one day and it made me feel bad.

I'm starting to get over what he did because no one believes him and I really don't care if they did. I still deny being gay to avoid the stigma at work, but I'm starting to flirt with Parker. Yes, I flirt with him! Part of me is glad he knows, and to be honest, I sent him an email on myspace telling him I was gay, but I wasn't out at work. He never read that email.

Another co-worker pulled me to the side yesterday and said they caught him staring at my butt.

I don't hold grudges, esp against someone who does this out of some immature way to show his attraction for me. I'm an optimistic and positive person, and I'm going to get as much money as I can for the silver lining around my dark cloud.
 
I confronted him and he denied it. But I expected him to lie about it. The important thing is that we had dialogue (why does the post window say I misspelled "dialogue"?) for the first time. I told him how I was mad at first, but I knew coming into my job that it was only a matter of time before people knew. He told me of how he went through the stress of being in the closet at work and finally came out. I'm trying to mend things with him because it would be great to have gay friends again. Every since I moved out into rural NC my social life died.
 
it wasn't his place to out you but if you guys are talking it out I guess that's a good thing
 
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