pain revisited

[hotdog1846]

Hmm, I hope I didn't imply that you should publicly announce your sexuality to the whole town on Christmas Eve.

I think of northern Idaho as being as likely a place as possible to pass anti-gay legislation as you can get in the USA, while Colorado is not nearly as much so (both houses of our legislature are now solidly Democrat, and so is our Governor), and we still passed Amendment 2. I was amazed when I found out that Idaho turned down its version of Colorado's Amendment 2, and was further amazed -- and touched -- when the story and the compassion in action it described were told to me.

But I don't know your town, and maybe it really is that dangerous. Every place is different, and your hands really are tied in doing anything about it this year.

Christmas is tough for many, many people. I can see how things would be crushing. All I can suggest is to make it your day, somehow, and do something you'd enjoy without counting on your family to be a part of it.

 

[Kulindahr]

Hmm, I hope I didn't imply that you should publicly announce your sexuality to the whole town on Christmas Eve.

But I don't know your town, and maybe it really is that dangerous. Every place is different, and your hands really are tied in doing anything about it this year.

Christmas is tough for many, many people. I can see how things would be crushing. All I can suggest is to make it your day, somehow, and do something you'd enjoy without counting on your family to be a part of it.

I didn't get that implication, but word has spread, and there are people who, if they found out where I was, might decide to intercept me.

I was telling about my town once on gay.com, and chatters scoffed... until several other guys from small towns on the Oregon coast said their towns were the same, and then a couple from logging towns....
Sit in a bar here, and listen, and it wouldn't take long to find that most people around here don't see why the Matthew Shepard murder was such a big deal.

I'm not counting on my family being a part of it; I just don't want to be alone. If I had the sort of money a lot of people on JUB seem to, able to fly across the country to see another JUBber one week, head a different direction across the country for a quick vacation another, I could darned well hire some company, taking my pick of cuties at a gay bar. As it is.... I don't know that I can afford to get Christmas presents. If it comes down to choosing between buying presents, and going to my fave gay bar so I won't be alone that day, well, at this point it's going to be no presents.

 

[luminum]

Yeah, I agree with Pianist.

It doesn't seem like you have much flexibility, and you may be physically alone, but you aren't alone. There are others who understand what you're going through.

Plus, we're all here, too and we care about you.

So if you're really stuck in a rut, just hold out because things can always start looking up.

And you're never really alone. ::hug::

 

[Kulindahr]

Thanks, guys.

I'll quote a little boy in the tunnels in London during the Battle, in response to a pastor who told him, "God is here with you":
"I need God with arms."
I'm kind of with BoardinDude in his thread "What Should I Do". He says he's "desperate to even just get a hug from another guy. I am so freakin desperate to be loved by another guy." A lot of the time I'm desperae just to be touched -- I actually spent a lot of effort deliberately brushing again people the other night when I managed to get to a bar, just to feel a physical, substantial, connection. Right now it's really bad, with the omnipresent reminders of the day that my sister and younger brother, always a solid supply of hugs, walked out.