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Patience=love?

CagedBird

CagedBird

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I'm posting back to say the advice Ive received from many here on JUB's is producing positive results.

My first love relationship of 4 weeks seems to be taking a turn for the better. While I had angst in the past weeks over compatibility issues between Jack & I [income, social standings etc], I realized "going with the flow" was best.

Jack & I had been apart for 2 days [lol, sounds like nothing, right?]. This gave me time to reflect on the relationship & advice from fellow JUBBERs. When Jack returned to town Sunday night, something strange happened. All I wanted to do was be close to Jack, to hold him tight & "melt" into him so to speak. Many moments passed as we stood in the hallway next to the bedroom. We engaged in gentle petting, kissing & hugging. Ive never felt this way about any of my previous heterosexual relations. [guess I'm really a fag after all]. I got so turned on by just touching & kissing Jack I wanted nothing more at that moment.....very bizarre to me, as usually I would have pushed for intercourse & this point. Jesus! The feel of his 5 o'clock shadow on my neck, his breath in my ear, the sweet satisfying feel of my check on his was overwhelming! It was then I realized I could be happy with my BF just being with him, w/o over analyzing all the differences we had, the "what-ifs" & all the unnecessary bullshit that clouds my mind about relationships. Im not sure if what I felt was love, but I can say I NEVER felt this way about anyone before. [needless to say sex latter that night was off the scale, lol]

That was a few days ago. We have since pressed past the issue of economic differences & opened up on what we like sexually as individuals. While our relationship is young, I'm now encouraged that this is more than just my first gay sexual experience, & may well have a tangible chance as a LTR, despite the differences in our two worlds [fingers crossed].

Thanks to all here for good advice received re: RELATIONSHIPS [especially the guy who told me about letting go of our differences & simply enjoy the time we have together].

Love you guys!

Bird(*8*)
 
That's great to hear, sounds like you have your priorities straight.

The most important thing in a relationship is the sex. If that's working, you've got a shot at figuring out everything else. If not...
 
I am so happy for you. Sometimes we feel or thnk we are in love with someone, but in the end it is not love at all. We tend to 'think" we are in love but never were because in reality we were with the wrong person(s). With jack being away those two days and feeling as you do, then you began to feel and realize that this is what love should be.

As for the economic differences etc., I am sure if you want this to work out you will find ways to make it happen. Social status, material things you own), is inmaterial to what both of you can share as a couple. This is similar to ones age differences and the discrimination one gets as he gets older. My bf is 30 and I am 61, and all his friends ask "why he is with me"...his answer? He loves me and wants to be with me. End of story!

Congradulations and let us know how it is going from time to time.
 
I ended up with a guy with a lot more money than me, and it's worked out fine. It's not like there aren't issues, but we address them - NOT addressing them is what causes the strife.

Good luck with your guy - he sounds like quite a catch. :)

Lex
 
slobone said:
That's great to hear, sounds like you have your priorities straight.

The most important thing in a relationship is the sex. If that's working, you've got a shot at figuring out everything else. If not...
Click to expand...

I've never been in a relationship and I TOTALLY disagree! Having a connection with the other person is far more important.
 
slobone said:
That's great to hear, sounds like you have your priorities straight.

The most important thing in a relationship is the sex. If that's working, you've got a shot at figuring out everything else. If not...
Click to expand...


In essence, I'd agree with Slobone here.

I would stop short of saying that "The most important thing in a relationship is sex", simply because human relationships are far too complex and varied to have one most important thing about them.

But sex remains one of those things that belong to the following category:

'SEX is NOT everything. However EVERYTHING without it is NOTHING.'

SC
 
Caged,

I'm really really happy to read your post mate...thats so beautiful that you've made it to the point where you see how good it is...not how good it could be. Thats a huge step!!

Congrats mate....you really deserve that happiness!
 
I am sooo happy for you Bird! There is hope for everyone to find their one true love!
I hope you two have many happy wonderful years togehter!
 
gameboy 11 said:
[/b]
I've never been in a relationship and I TOTALLY disagree! Having a connection with the other person is far more important.
Click to expand...

But in a sexual relationship, the connection should be sexual, right? I'm not talking about your relationship with your best friend or your family.

SilverRRCloud said:
In essence, I'd agree with Slobone here.

I would stop short of saying that "The most important thing in a relationship is sex", simply because human relationships are far too complex and varied to have one most important thing about them.

But sex remains one of those things that belong to the following category:

'SEX is NOT everything. However EVERYTHING without it is NOTHING.'

SC
Click to expand...

No doubt there are exceptions, but not very many. If the sex isn't working, everything else is going to stop working too.

That doesn't mean you have to fuck like bunnies night and day. It's whatever works for the two of you. But you have to both be satisfied.
 
You guys know how to make a fella feel warm inside!

When I read what slobone said about "...sex being the most important in relationship...", I took a deep breath. My knee jerk was to dismiss this, but I realize as gay men sex IS very important indeed. My BF only confirmed this just last night when we discussed our likes/dislikes in bed. I expressed my surprise to find my primary position as bottom. Jack said" ....if you didnt bottom, I'd would've dumped your ass weeks ago, lol..." While he seemed to be joking somewhat, I dont doubt that our relationship would be an uphill climb w/o my accepted position, & thus great sex we enjoy. [I still hope to top his ass soon, as I prefer to be Vers].

Im continuing the slow patient approach daily. Anxiety of our future is back burner for now, hope it stays that way. If this is love, I want more!
 
You're so cute!

Glad your relationship is going well. :D
 
bird, i am SO glad you are positive about you and jack. you can work through anything if the communication is there and the feelings are there
much love
ding
 
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