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period between chatting and meeting

N

Nice Boy

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Hello guys.

Just to give you a context. About 2 weeks ago, I started chatting with one guy on a dating site (in fact he sent me the first message that he liked my profile :-)) Normally, I prefer to meet with guys very early - basically I just agree to meet right on the start. I do it because I prefer so called "fast death" - only when meeting in person you can really tell if you like him or not.

However this time I see it a bit different. I think a few days after we started chatting (BTW we exchanged photos pretty early) I proposed him to meet. He refused, telling me that we should get to know better [online]. I agreed. When we chat the conversation is flowing quite well plus I feel a good sense of humor radiating from him. Repeatedly I proposed him: And think about if we could meet :-) About 5 days ago he responded: I will but only a little bit :-) Yesterday he responded: I will think about it for sure.

BTW, on his profile he states he seeks a friendship or chat. There is nothing about serious relationship while I have on my profile I seek for friendship or serious relationship not chat. I even emphasized it on my dating ad.

So what do you think about it? Why do you think he doesnt want to meet fast? Do you think my look might be a problem? Honestly if it were a problem he wouldn't chat with me for another 2 weeks perhaps...

I'm really not making a drama from it I'm just curious about your insight.
What is your period between starting chating with someone and meeting?

Thanks :wave:
 
Update: It seems the patience brings roses. After more than 2 weeks of chatting, that guy finally agreed to meet. Exact day, time and place is yet to be specified but he agreed. I hope it will work out fine :-p
 
finga sayin Hi up ma asshole way betta then internet make of simple ans fulll a degrees

so OY FINGAS out there cut nails please when sayin hi

thankyou
 
Well, yes, it was me who asked about it. And I don't know, I don't have a strong feeling that he would just string me along. If it was the case, he would rather make some excuses I guess but I'll see.

I rather feel he needed time to get to know me better first and then to meet. I also guess he is a bit shy/cautious and doesn't want to get involved quickly.

And loki81: I don't think he would be that type of the person (although you never know).

I will let you know how it turned out :-)
 
Period between chatting and meeting...what to do???


Jerk off.
 
Nice Boy, two things could be going on here:

First, if he's in the closet or just recently out he might be more shy than usual about actually meeting, so maybe give him a break.

Second, he might just have a different idea about the way to build a relationship than you do and he might want a different kind of relationship.

There was a time when if a guy said to me "Normally I prefer to do X at the start of a relationship" I would have shut things down based on that alone. Normally?!!!??? What am I, next in line???!!!?

And that would have been it, game over. So, maybe a bit dramatic in my young dating life, but that's how it was before I met mr. bankside. He and I chatted on line for a couple of months before we actually physically met, even though we had traded photos (partly due to living 3 hours apart). And it took a few more months before we decided we were dating. And then we slept together...and we've been together ever since, almost 14 years.

Is that sort of what you're looking for in life? Because maybe that's what he's looking for. If so, one week or three weeks or 5 weeks doesn't make much difference to him if his game plan scores time in years and decades.

Oh, I guess there is a third possibility; he lied about who he is, sent fake pix, and now does not want to get caught.
 
Guys, thanks again for your valuable comments. :-)
Just to get you into context:

I got a profile on one dating site here in my country. I posted a dating ad and the guy praised my profile. He however didn't know I posted an ad... So I thanked him and told him I posted an ad. And he replied: Yeah? Let me check it out. And then he praised my dating ad, saying it was quite unconstrained (I hope I picked up a good English word for that).
Then he sent me his face picture immediately as I had in an ad that I would send a picture to anyone who has one in the profile or will send it. So we exchanged the pictures and then the conversation was flowing pretty fine for more than 2 weeks.

Plus, I think he seems to be a bit shy/cautious and wants to take some time in general. For example when I proposed him to meet after 3 days of chatting he told me that we should get to know better first. And we sent his virtual kiss :-* for a good night few days ago he replied: Isn't it too for a kiss even virtual? :-) A virtual flower would be better :-)

And bankside, thanks for sharing your nice story. And I guess you put the best options of what is going on. I think the option No.2 is the most probable or perhaps he has had few bad experiences with meetings quite early so he is more cautious now. But I don't want to speculate or overthink.

And I didn't force him much into meeting I just from time to time proposed him that I would be very glad to meet him in person cause he seems quite nice. Plus as I stated the reason I want to meet in person is that there might be a HUGE difference between getting to know someone online and in person.

And loki81: Honestly, I agreed to be friends with benefits with my first bf and realized that it isn't what I seek. Nor a one night stand. I search for a person with whom it would be possible to have a long-term relationship and I'm willing to take things slow in the relationship.

Hope it will work out fine guys :D
 
Update:
We met this Thursday and the meeting was quite fine. We went for a walk and then we chatted for a long... As usual, I don't have a super wow feeling from the first date, but he is definitely worth meeting again :-)
 
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