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Perspective

I have two questions.

Would you ever be a surrogate to a gay friend if he wanted to have a child?

How do you feel about going down on a guy? You don't have to answer if you feel it's too personal.
 
Stacy, this is a bit awkward, but can you tell me more about what your disability is, and the effects it has on your day-to-day life?

Also, how much discrimination would you say you've experienced while out amongst the public?
 
Stacey, when I first looked at your gender I just assumed you were a transgendered man.

What part of JUB is unwelcoming?
 
stacyp said:
While I know nothing about being a gay man there are many things I relate to here. No, not so much feeling left out, as feeling bad that there are groups of people out there who feel they need to blame my whole gender for the acts of a handful of people not brought up properly.
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Who are those groups of people?
 
Stacy, before I ask you this question, I'd like to set the scene with a real life experience.

In a trendy part of town, I happened to spot a funky little boutique that seemed to specialize in lotions, fragrances, body care items, and clothing accessories. Since I'm a lotion freak, I ducked in to take a peek. Once inside I noticed there was some sort of "girls night out" type party where a large group of women were sharing conversation, beauty (and man) tips, laughter, and just a lot of "girl power" fellowship and mutuality. Wisely, I decided not to disturb that groove and leave them to vibe on as they were.

While I certainly respect the value and benefit of having shared spaces where straight women, gay men, gay women, straight men, and others can come together and inspire one another; I also feel that there is value in separate groups of people having spaces where they can be themselves, among themselves.

I love mixed settings (like JUB) for what they are worth, but I still think that gay men need some places where women, gay or straight, don't have us under their observation and tacit judgment. Where we don't have that additional constraint of recognizing female-centric sensibilities and sensitivities. And I am generalizing on purpose, because when you take large groups of people with certain commonalities, predictable patterns do seem to emerge.

What are your thoughts on this?
 
So glad to meet you, Stacy. And really pleased you started this thread. I am pleased to join this discussion. I just spent about 30 minutes working up some ideas to post. Fortunately, my other computer is having issues and I couldn't get it typed before I had to give up and switch. It was going to be overly long and intellectual and . . . just too much. Here's the short version.

1) Yes, there are LOTS of people who look at/visit JUB and who never register. I was one. For a long time. Their reasons for "dropping in" are completely unknown to us because they don't tell us.

2) I'm not into labels and oversimplification, but it's kind of a human thing to simplify the world so we can deal with it. My choice to identify myself as bisexual does not begin to reveal the complexity of who I am. And I try not to take personally any comments about people who self identify that way. Comments about ME . . . I don't think I've seen any in here yet. I'll have to decide when I see them.

3) Here's my question, Stacy: What aspect(s) of gay porn do you find most attractive? And how is it different from other "flavors" of porn? You mentioned some things earlier, but I'm very interested in exploring this with you as I have figured out some of MY reasons and want to know yours.
 
EDIT: Lol, edits...I thought you were calling me the loose slut, Jason.
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The only person I call a loose slut is..... me! But the "loose" is kind of a misnomer because I do kiegels (sp) and I've been told I can get quite tight ;P. The other part is spot on (!)
 
I love it when you post something about the post above you and then someone else posts something to screw that up. :mad: j/k
 
stacyp said:
See, in gay porn you've got two guys enjoying each other. In straight porn it truly is made for and from the straight male perspective. And many, not all and not every, but many straight men believe that men want to see dominance in the genders.
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Definitely interesting to hear that. I agree . . . up to a point.

For me, there's more intimacy between two guys than one generally sees in M/F episodes. Not always, of course. But much more often. I never thought about it as "equality," but I can definitely go with that word, too.

I'm not sure that wanting to see dominance is "in" straight men any more than it's "in" anyone else, however they identify. I'd put that down to a confirmation of a social view--one that is changing, but is not changed.

One other thing I've noticed (no, I have not spent YEARS looking at porn, so . . . ): men are filmed better in gay porn than in other types. Again, I think the very camera angles and choice of shots is based on the notion that viewers have no interest in the male in the scene, only the female. What about those of us who might be putting ourselves in the place of the male? It's definitely one way to view "straight" porn. I don't see as much attention to the male in the scene as I'd like to have.

Hmmm. You're right. That's an equality thing, too. I wonder what others look for and find in gay porn.
 
As a lesbian-oriented bi woman currently involved with a man, I thought I'd jump in to add even more diversity. I won't hijack the thread with my own issues about gender. I'll just answer one little thing:

cgymike said:
...I agree that this site is indexed and you can google it easily. But my point was that you have to pretty much be looking for gay porn in some way...
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I found this site by searching "Drew Peters". Why search for a gay porn star? Because I write m/m/m erotica and was reading gay erotica anthologies to learn a bit more about how to "correctly" describe gay sex. One story was a fabulous and funny piece written as a love letter to DP. So, I had to investigate. Some idiot reviewer said the porn star was made up, but I suspected he was real.

I love it here. I spend around 95% of the time here on the forums, not the galleries. I like looking at the couples, not the men by themselves, generally.
 
I don't have any questions I just want to thank you for giving some people a little overdue perspective and support the women JUBBer's. I've seen some people on here acting like misogynists. Some of us have sisters and all of us have mothers. Did they forget this? Are they also forgetting a lot of women support gay rights too?

Even though JUB is directed at gay men 43% of the members here are women. Those figures may be off but the number is higher than I thought.

stacyp said:
Men are men. Whether gay, straight or bi, they all have different tendencies. I am also someone who believes that one's gender does not give them an allowance to be one thing or another. If a person is an asshole, cheater, whatever, they just are, it has nothing to do with sexuality or gender.
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I wish I used this quote in another thread. Couldn't have said it better myself. :=D:
 
erobert said:
I don't have any questions I just want to thank you for giving some people a little overdue perspective and support the women JUBBer's. I've seen some people on here acting like misogynists. Some of us have sisters and all of us have mothers. Did they forget this? Are they also forgetting a lot of women support gay rights too?
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Yeah, I forgot to put that in one of my posts. I really like some women, including my mother. But not ALL of them and not ALL of the time.

Like any community, JUB has some less-than-savory characters. Oh, well. Not my place to judge.
 
LilBit said:
You made a typo. It's 25%. Still a high number, all things considered.

As for Stacy...

1. Welcome back.
2. Show me your boobs.
3. Which Golden Girl is the best?
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25% seems high - makes sense if it's total on the site, but I haven't seen that in the forums.

And good thing the third question wasn't for me - I was thinking it was about the action figure dolls, not the TV show.

stacyp said:
Men are men. Whether gay, straight or bi, they all have different tendencies. I am also someone who believes that one's gender does not give them an allowance to be one thing or another. If a person is an asshole, cheater, whatever, they just are, it has nothing to do with sexuality or gender. .
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Well said.
 
Welcome back after your short vacation. :rolleyes:
 
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