Phone sex with straight friend?

[aijalon18]

I have a friend who have been friends with since we were little kids. Although he is a very good looking guy, I have NEVER had any feelings for him. He's too skinny, not my type, and I always thought of him as a brother. In high school, he was one of those straight guys that always fucked a lot of girls, which is a HUGE turn off to me as well. After high school we kinda lost touch and went to different colleges. After college we got reacquainted and picked up right where we left off. I was great to have one of my oldest friends back.

He's always loved talking about sex and giving me details of his escapades. But recently things have changed. We talk on the phone a lot and recently he's kind of started to have phone sex with me. I never liked to be degraded sexually but that's what this dirty talk is.

In the sexiest voice I've ever heard, he says "You're my pretty little bitch" "I'm gonna fuck you till you scream my name" and "You like when I talk to u like this." So far I just laugh it off and then eventually he'll laugh too. But it's kinda weird. And tonight he kept saying "Let me come over and get some pussy" and "You got that pussy ready for me?" I feel so embarrassed even typing this. But I'm not sure what to do.

He's knows about my sexuality and has never had a problem with it or made fun of it. Other than playfully accusing me of checking out guys.

Basically I'm not trying to date this fool or have a real relationship. I'm not sure how to respond in a way to show that I liked it. But at the same time I feel like I shouldnt like it. I guess I want advice on what other people would do next.

 

[Charmander]

I would get him drunk and do him in the butt.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Well, if you two are friends, then you should be able to tell him that kind of talk makes you uncomfortable.

 

[TX-Beau]

See what I'm getting is that this doesn't make you uncomfortable, but you are uneasy that you like it?

Well, so what, he knows you're gay, he doesn't care, try calling his bluff.

Maybe he's curious, maybe not, but if he's saying what he's saying to you, fair game. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the tease. You both know what's up.

I've known straight guys who get off on their ego. This one guy I knew back in college used to do stripper dances all over me - a lot (he was in fact a stripper,) he even kissed me once, he wasn't gay, he just got off on knowing I wanted his body. He never went farther than that. I probably would have slept with him if the situation had ever come up, but I wasn't interested in dating him. That didn't mean that I didn't enjoy him grinding his hot body all over me.

Now unfortunately he's a suburban daddy well along into breeder spread. Such is life.

 

[hackingnomberr]

My friend does similar things to me all the time, I don't think he knows I'm gay though, but I always just laugh at it, I don't enjoy it from a turn on perspective, but I definitely do for the humor. ;P
I guess it helps that I'm not attracted to him, not that he's not attractive.~

 

[cyravance]

Tell the guy what I tell phone sex callers..."If I want to have phone sex, I'll set my cell to vibrate, stuff it in my pants, then call myself from my land line. But thanks anyway!"

 

[KaraBulut]

It depends.

If it makes you uncomfortable, then tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and don't put up with the behavior.

If you enjoy it, listen and laugh.

If it's a turn on, then tell him to get in his car, go buy lube, come over and get the deed done. Put up or shut up.

 

[Keelandson]

Careful. You may end up on a recording.

 

[bankside]

Okay so you're enjoying his fantasy, that you don't really approve of and would have never thought up on your own?

Don't feel bad about enjoying a pervy fantasy. He's obviously not coming at you the right way if he wanted to be with you. But maybe he's open to other phone sex fantasies that are more your style. Your turn to come up with a story?

 

[JTEvans]

I totally agree with TX-Beau. Some guys just get off on attention. I think there are straight guys who befriend gay dudes just for that reason. My college roommate admitted that he liked to flirt with gay guys because it was a turn on to be wanted. I thought it was funny when he did it to other guys but I admit that it was a little confusing when he did it to me. The point is, it may be that he's interested but it's more like that he thinks you're into it and he's getting a charge out of that.

 

[Just_Believe18]

You've said a lot to try to convince us why you don't feel attracted to this guy. Are you sure that's the case? Would you like to have sex with him? He's hinting at it and wants to see how you respond. Does he act this way at all when you see each other?

 

[Lube]

For me, anyway, admitting to myself that I liked certain pervy sex things was like a second coming out.

It sounds like you really enjoy what he does to you (or at least talks about doing with you). And it sounds like he really likes talking to you about it.

I think he's probably gay, and very much into you.

I've been thinking about what TX-Beau said, and I'm not sure if I agree about straight men getting off on gay guys being attracted to them. I mean girls are always saying "all the good looking guys are gay" and yet you don't see gay guys grinding their crotches over straight women because they somehow get off on it. So why would a straight guy do that to gay guys? It doesn't make sense to me. I think it's much more likely that the "straight" guy is getting off on these conversations.

Do gay guys call their female friends and tell them "what they're gonna do to them"? I don't think so. (Oh, it might be hysterical for about 8 seconds, but that's about it.)

So I think it's clear that you like being denigrated sexually (and, yes, that can be very hot!) sometimes. Nothin' wrong with that. Maybe you should find a nice gay leather group nearby.

And I think it's also clear that he's very into you. However, he may or may not be willing to outright admit this.

If I were you, I'd encourage him to come over when he gets in these moods. Give him a nice back rub or foot rub and tell him to keep talking to you like that.

Then move your hands slowly toward his erogenous zones as you massage him, and see where it goes. You might be surprised.

 

[aijalon18]

SO there's an update.

He came to my house yesterday with some other friends. It's the first time I saw him in person since these aural adventures began. And I realized something I never noticed before. He's very uncomfortable being touched by other guys. He doesn't liked to be hugged and wont be touched unless it's wrestling or something aggressive. Very weird.

There were 5 guys total I was the only non-straight one. And all the other guys are quite physical. Not super touchy feely but they hugged me when they came in my house and we were normal affectionate throughout. Everyone except him. he's not just like that with me but all the other guys too.

We actually talked about that later privately and he said it was his family upbringing. His family is just not affectionate at all. When his brother came back from Iraq, he didnt even hug him. I don't think Ive ever seen him hug his mom but he does hug girls who are not his mom.

Anyway, I directly addressed out little phone issue. He said outright he was just joking. And he talks to all of his guy friends like that and I'm being dramatic. I don't really believe that but I'm thinking I should just give it up and say not to talk to me like that anymore. What y'all think?

 

[Lube]

Why give up what obviously titillates you?

My advice still stands. Have fun with it!

 

[slnattak]

My (supposedly straight, he's confused =p) friend tries to do the same thing to me to turn me on but it doesn't work.

We are turned on by each other occasionally, but it's kinda rare. Genuinely. But the whole trying to turn you on thing doesn't work too well when straight guys do it because they tend to be too puerile with it.

Gay guys turn me on more because they're usually more serious with it. And I sort of connect to that better cause it seriously turns me on. I feel in a way that I'm being insulted by straight men, and that's not a turn on for me. I don't like to be degraded in *that way* Like "I can't believe this turns you on, what a fag" all while the guy is soft and doesn't like it himself. That's like no fun for me but YMMV I guess. =p But if a guy who is into guys says that "What a faggot I can't believe you like this shit" he will most likely have a huge boner when he's talking to me that way cause he's gay too, and that's what I like.

I'm turned on by 'puppy play' (god that phrase sounds so 'gay ish' as in lame, but it's what I like) I like a guy that treats me like a dog, erotically. It turns me on. I like when I'm another guy's dog. Though when my str8 friend did it, it wasn't really much of a turn as when my gay friends do it.

Straight guys are interesting because they will be nice to you and tease you playfully sometimes but it's like they're too nice to me in a fakeish way that doesn't connect with me. Another gay man will genuinely get under my skin more, and I guess that's more erotic cause it's like a push-pull thing.

I'm turned off by guys who slept with a lot of girls too. They're not erotic to me and never have been. I couldn't understand what straight girls see in straight men, they are like blah to me. (sexual wise) The only reason why some of my "straight" friends are attractive is because they are probably not even straight, they're just saying that. I kinda like that. I like gay guys who say they are straight but are really gay lol. I want a real gay person, but I like when they say they're straight. I just think it's hilarious to me.

It's hard for me to be attracted to straight guys, if I know they are straight (truly) and they say that they are. If I'm attracted to somebody it's almost always mutual meaning they're not so straight themselves. =p

I guess I'm realizing that I'm turned on by insecure gay guys. Maybe not insecure so much, but more like 'I'm a fag who doesn't like to use the word 'gay' because it gets in the way of actual eroticism' thing. And I'd agree so fucking much. =D

 

[slnattak]

all attraction is mutual btw. thats what I believe. You feel for people to the same extent that they feel for you, and vice-versa. You being really into somebody makes them be really into you. You thinking of being with somebody sends out a vibrational match to the universe to make that same somebody be with you.

It's always an equal thing. Always.

I don't believe in unrequited love and I don't believe in love at first sight.

If you're being angsty and whining and emo ish about if a guy is liking you or not, he's doing the same thing with you. But the only problem with that is, you both can't connect that way. Funny how that works. Here you are, both sending out the vibrational signal of 'neediness' and both of you can't connect and really be with each other, because you both feel that you can't really get what you want. Once you just give that up, you'll naturally find yourselves being around guys like you want or guys that are a match to you without even thinking about it. You'll only miss it when you don't have it and you will realize that at all times, you were a perfect match for what you were thinking about.

If you're being used by a guy for sex, guess what sweet pea. You're doing the same thing to him that you accuse him of doing to you. And so you're both a vibrational match to be 'used for sex.'

Isn't the law of attraction wonderful? lol

 

[Mstrshake]

Why don't you ask him, plain and simple:

"Do you want to have sex with me or something?"

He can't possibly be surprised or enraged. Look at what he's saying to you. There are no confusing signals. If he says no, then that is the end (probably), and if he says yes, then it is up to you.

 

[lunarus]

SO there's an update.

He came to my house yesterday with some other friends. It's the first time I saw him in person since these aural adventures began. And I realized something I never noticed before. He's very uncomfortable being touched by other guys. He doesn't liked to be hugged and wont be touched unless it's wrestling or something aggressive. Very weird.

There were 5 guys total I was the only non-straight one. And all the other guys are quite physical. Not super touchy feely but they hugged me when they came in my house and we were normal affectionate throughout. Everyone except him. he's not just like that with me but all the other guys too.

We actually talked about that later privately and he said it was his family upbringing. His family is just not affectionate at all. When his brother came back from Iraq, he didnt even hug him. I don't think Ive ever seen him hug his mom but he does hug girls who are not his mom.

Anyway, I directly addressed out little phone issue. He said outright he was just joking. And he talks to all of his guy friends like that and I'm being dramatic. I don't really believe that but I'm thinking I should just give it up and say not to talk to me like that anymore. What y'all think?

Okay after reading what you have said thus far, the second posting on this sticks out.

I have not ever heard a straight male talk to another male like this unless they are drunk and know their friend is gay/bi.

I would just play along. After a bit he will stop hopefully. He is a friend and if he is just playing around give it back to him full force.

And about the family up bringing crap, um no, I have known straight men from childhood that had no affection what so ever and they still hugged their friends. Typically when a guy displays such a degree of uncomfortableness(?) is that a word?, anyway when they do this they have either been touched inappropriately buy another male when they were young or they are hiding from something. They fear others might find out they (your friend) might actually be into guys. Or heaven for bid they might actually be gay.

Either way he is looking for something from you. He clearly over compensated in high school with all his conquests. Another thing I would likely think is did all these sex-capades happen at all? He just acted like a big stud to hide the fact he wanted dick.

Either way I say don't sweat it. Play his hand. He with either put up or shut up. LOL he apparently wants that nice ass of yours or is THAT comfortable with you to talk like that.

Just tell him next time he wouldn't be able to handle you....

 

[Just_Believe18]

He's a latent homosexual with a lot of identity issues. Warning signs are his complete lack of affection towards other male friends, yet late phone sex chats with you at night.

Stop the phone chats. Let him work out his own problems on his own. It's not worth it for you to get into.

 

[latinoguy19]

If you're being angsty and whining and emo ish about if a guy is liking you or not, he's doing the same thing with you. But the only problem with that is, you both can't connect that way. Funny how that works. Here you are, both sending out the vibrational signal of 'neediness' and both of you can't connect and really be with each other, because you both feel that you can't really get what you want. Once you just give that up, you'll naturally find yourselves being around guys like you want or guys that are a match to you without even thinking about it. You'll only miss it when you don't have it and you will realize that at all times, you were a perfect match for what you were thinking about.

If you're being used by a guy for sex, guess what sweet pea. You're doing the same thing to him that you accuse him of doing to you. And so you're both a vibrational match to be 'used for sex.'

Isn't the law of attraction wonderful? lol

Thanks man for that, that was very informative advice. I have a dude here in college doing the same to me. I get so nervous about whether he really likes me or not that I get nervous, etc. Well with your advice (and similar words from friends that have witnessed it) I'm just gonna go for it.