Phoneguy2 - Archived Blog Posts

[phoneguy2]

December was unseasonably warm.

January was above normal.

Then came February. 10 days of single digit temperatures, record snowfall, and the return of ‘real’ winter.


I have spent more time than usual at home in front of the computer. I mean, it isn’t exactly walk in the park and have a good time weather out there.

I can only browse the porn for so long. At my age one hot video can bring a week’s worth of peace and contentment. I practice on my keyboard everyday and have mastered several new songs. Well, mastered as in my definition of the word. I doubt seriously that any true music buff would be encouraging me to make a CD. And I have been writing.

An idea for a story formed in my mind and now like an old song that gets stuck going through a person’s mind, it won’t let go. As I sit at the keyboard of my computer the story springs forth and grows. A small idea I had earlier suddenly is page after page of words. This is good as it keeps my mind active and causes me to think in terms I wouldn’t normally do.

But there is a downside to it also. I write of love, sex and relationships. I write of two men committed to one another sitting before a fire holding each other and sharing. Then I look around my house, the fireplace unused, the only sign of habitation, my own.

I have lived alone going on fifteen years. I enjoy it. I am one to have no problem with going to a fine restaurant with only a good book as my companion. If there is a movie I would like to see, I go, unconcerned with the fact that I will only share it with myself. I am at peace with that and expect no sympathy as to my life.

But on a cold winter’s night, with snow all around and the air around zero, as words of love and sharing spring from my mind through my fingers onto the computer screen I look at the unused fireplace and wonder:

What if…………….

 

[phoneguy2]

For several months I have been persuing my dream of writing a novel. I have had several starts and stops but have finished what I think is a good possiblity for one.

Writing it is one thing, getting it published is something else.

There are many of the vanity (pay for own) publishers out there. That would be a last resort. I hope to get it accepted by a traditional publisher and get paid for writing it not having to pay myself.

Most traditional publishers only accept previously published authors. There are a few that do accept new authors so I submitted a synopsis of the story to a couple of them and today received an e-mail from one asking me to submit the entire manuscript for review.

That was not an acknowledgement of acceptance but it is a start. Step one: getting it accepted for reveiw has been passed.

Now I have to prepare it for submission and then not sleep until I hear back from them. They said two to three weeks. I can go that long with no sleep.

If you read this, please keep your fingers crossed. I still have a long way to go.

But it should be fun

 

[phoneguy2]

I received notification today that my manuscript and all neccessary information was received by the publisher. I should hear from them within two weeks as to whether or not it has been accepted.

On another situation my former employer is screwing me around, again, and I'm thinking of getting a lawyer. Life sucks some times.

But there is usually good mixed in with the bad. I've had so much bad luck I am good at seeing something better in it.

 

[phoneguy2]

This morning I received wor that the publisher has accepted my book. also an electronic version of the contract I have to sign. I am supposed to received the hard copy of the contract via snail mail. When that is returned we will move on the editing stage and all that involves.

My excitement level is high but I am trying to keep my expectations in check. That isn't easy but I have accepted that I am a long way from the bestsellers lists. LOL

I did create a website to start promoting the book. right now it is pretty basic and will be used mostly to chronical the long road to publication. Please visit it and sign my guest book. I look forward to the day that I can post an actual link to the book on it.

 

[phoneguy2]

What a week it has been.

Starting with the big decision to actually solicit publishers evolving into one requesting the manuscript be submitted. Just reading that e-mail was a high, soon to be followed by self doubt. Had to read the story at least twice more before submitting it. Then came the wait.

Two days later came the acceptance e-mail. Another high. Now the wait is on again. I accepted the terms of the contract via e-mail and am waiting for the hard copy to be sent snail mail.

I set up the {URL="http://www.freewebs.com/wgcarpenter"]web site[/URL] and started notifying friends and relatives of it's existence. Response so far has been good. All five of my sisters and a female cousin who is like a sister have posted comments in the guest book plus several from members of JUB.

I am pleased with the looks of the site. On the home page is a short synopsis of the book, page two is a blog and besides the guest book there is an excerpt from the story. Please, if you have a few extra minutes check it out and leave a comment. In case the publisher checks it out it will look good with lots of comments.

Writing the great American novel has been a dream of mine for many years. When I was very young my Mother wrote a story she would read to us kids. She always talked of trying to get it published but never did.

In high school I discovered I liked to write poetry. Over the years I used that to express my emotions of the moment and have written quite a bit of it, most too personal to share. Several years ago my foster son put one of them to music. That was exciting to hear my words being sung.

The natural progression from poetry was to short stories, again many used to express my emotions at the time. Some I shared with family or friends but most were kept for a time then disposed of. A few times I tried writing a novel. The attempts weren't very successful. After a few chapters I would give up. It is not as easy as many people believe.

Then came the JUB Erotic Story forum. When it started JD asked us moderators at the time to help get it started with stories. I think I wrote two, maybe three, short stories for it. Those original ones have been dropped from the site long ago.

On vacation last year I ran into a guy I had known when I lived and worked in Illinois. Driving back to Indiana that night I started thinking about the encounter with him and decided to write a short story for the forum about it. His name was Josh and I had run into him at the county fair.

My original intent was to end the story with just the promise of an encounter. Several people posted comments wanting to know what happened then. So I wrote a second part. The County Fair and Josh ended up having over forty chapters and spawned a sequel, Small Town Country Guys which is still an on going saga. Unfortunately, lately I have devoted the majority of my time to the book and have ignored Guys.

I wrote several more stories for the forum, some just one part, others longer. I discovered I liked writing very much. Judging from the 'hits' my stories received and comments posted many people were enjoying reading them. I posted It Only Took A Smile and reaction to it was again favorable.

This one was different though. It still had the requisite sex scenes but it also was becoming a real story. A few people commented that it should be a book.

I printed off parts of it and showed it to one of my sisters (a very impartial opinion) and two straight friends. They agreed it was a good story. I then rewrote what had been posted to 'clean up' the sex scenes and expanded the entire thing.

I also became almost obsessed with it. I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about the story and get up to write my thoughts. The story seemed to just flow out of me at times. One small idea became many chapters. I added background on the main characters and weaved their stories together.

In book form it will be around 350 pages, about average for a novel. Having self edited it many times I still enjoy going back reading it through. I am excited about the book and the process of getting it published.

But there is the waiting time. Once the postal service decides to deliver the contract I will sign it and wait for them to decide to return it to the publisher. Then the formal editing begins, then cover art design, then printing. All involves waiting.

Like most people I hate waiting. That leaves time for the old self doubt to set in and time for the emotional roller coaster to run at top speed.

Or maybe I should use the time to start another book.

 

[phoneguy2]

Disclaimer: Some of the recollections in the following entry may be clouded or distorted by time, mind altering substances, or a desire to make the past seem better. If you notice such a discrepancy feel free to post a comment or PM me with your version of the event.


Those were the days! Or, were they really?

A comment today in a discussion in the mod forum started me thinking about the early years of LMAO (the forerunner to JUB). That comment was simply “wouldn’t it be interesting to see a roster from 2003.”

In March of 2003 a porn link site added a forum/message board. (Happy Anniversary JD and Seth). I joined it in November of that year. If I remember correctly I was number twelve hundred and something to join. It was a simple little board. Topics under discussion were varied, JD and Seth were the only ones allowed to post pictures. Members could submit a picture to them and they would post it. (Imagine trying to do that now). Then a forum was created where members could post pictures on their own, the majority being porn. Soon another forum was added for general or g rated pictures.

In those days we did not have a chat room. Several of us got together on Saturday night and conducted a group chat on Yahoo messenger. It was officially supposed to start at nine or ten central time but usually started before six in the evening. It would go until four or five the next morning. We would post threads on the board that the “chat” was going and invite people to join us. I think we had as many as thirty at one time. Bartleby would play music in the background, we tried to get flood22 to sing, and in general we had a lot of fun.

The picture forums were a hit. One of the most memorable to me was the puppy and ddog wedding. People posted pictures of dogs in different costumes and settings and describe how this was supposed to be during the big wedding. I remember posting one a dog with a chef’s hat and apron on and it was supposed to be Turtle baking the cake. It was harmless and it was fun.

In the spring of 04 came the big announcement from JD and Seth that a big change was coming to LMAO. They wouldn’t tell us what the change was but a contest was started to guess. The announcement was supposed to be at like 8AM and by seven almost every member at the time was on line waiting. Being as they are JD and Seth were late with the announcement. Someone even tried calling JD at home in Montreal on the phone. There was certainly a flurry of activity and many, many posts whining about the wait.

Finally the big announcement came. LMAO was changing it’s name to Justusboys.com. The dot com was significant because LMAO was a .ca, based in Canada. Shortly after that we changed to the v-bulletin format.

Many of the members from the old LMAO days have since left the board for one reason or another. Some have returned with different names, some still lurk but don’t post very often, but are still active members.

During the LMAO days I was named a moderator. There were four of us brought on at one time, Bartleby, Flood22, Pharaoh and myself. It was strange new territory. In those days mods were not allowed to ban a member. We could recommend it to JD or Seth and they would do the dirty deed. After we had switched to v-bulletin Seth was tweeking the boards and somehow the ban button appeared in our moderator panel. We were afraid of it. At the same time we wondered what would happen if we used it. One weekend night I was the only moderator on the boards, even JD and Seth were off line. Someone started posting very grotesque pictures of an asshole. I tried deleting the pictures, but evidently he was on DSL compared to my dialup and was posting faster than I could delete. I used the ban button. Lightning didn’t flash, the world didn’t come to an end and the picture posting stopped.

Another contentious issue at that time was signature pictures. Here I played a negative role, one of the few times I have done so in my time on these forums. They were too large or contained controversial or bad images. I started the craze for animated ones. Mine were not just ordinary animations but 3D and very large. Not only did I make them for me I made them for all of my friends. People with dial up were going crazy, it would take forever for a page to load. By this time I was on DSL and that aspect didn’t concern me any more. JD and Seth were getting less and less pleased as way too much space was being taken on the servers. Signature guidelines were born from this episode.

The US Presidential elections gave birth to the Current Events and Politics forum. It was supposed to be a place for us to hash out the issues of the election and would be gone after the election. It still thrives today and serves a very useful purpose on the board.

Moderators have come and gone along with general membership. Even I took a hiatus from the board and mod duties when real life consumed too much of my time. There are many of the ‘old timers’ I miss and would love to see post again. Everyday new members still join, as of this morning there was over 104,000 members.

JUB changes constantly but seems to remain the same. It is still a place where people can come for support and guidance. Curious minded folks can gain some insight and a gay man can be assisted in his journey out of the closet. It is a community that cares and accepts most who enter. Without it many lives would be different, I know mine would.


Wally

 

[phoneguy2]

Finally! The contract arrived via snail mail yesterday and I returned it today, all signed and witnessed. My copy had been signed by the publisher so now I have in my hands a fully signed contract making me a signed author.

Now comes the fun job of editing. I am a little nervous at the prospect of the first draft being returned. How many and exactly what kinds of changes are going to be required?

I think at this point writing the book was the easiest part. But with the contract out of the way I am now one step closer to realizing my dream. Maybe the next one will be easier.

Wally

 

[phoneguy2]

Last week I received a call from the people who bought my old store. I started back to work there as a cashier last Thursday. For now it is only four days a week but will work into full time soon.

It was good seeing all of my old customers. Most did a double take when they walked in the door and saw me behind the counter. It also is nice not to have the pressures and worries of management.

I still have no internet at home so am staying at my sister's in Illinois on my days off and at home in Indiana when I work.

The book is progressing slowly. The signed contract was received by the publisher and I am now in the process of getting the entire package together to submit. Besides the manuscript I have to send in an author bio and synopsis for the back cover along with three poses of a recent picture of me. I also need to compile a list of people for them to send announcements to when the book is about to be released.

I started a thread on here yesterday asking for names and addresses of jubbers to include in the list. If you are reading this and haven't seen the thread and would like to receive an announcement from the publisher please pm me your name and postal address so I can include it on the list.

Several jubbers have inquired as to whether the annouincement will ne sent to other than the USA. I am not sure but am including names from other countries. I do know the book will only be available via the internet in countries other the US and Canada but I would imagine the publisher will mail announcements anywhere.

Fun Thought:

I have noticed lately that several younger guys have their name tatooed on one side of their neck and a girls name on the other. I decided I would get my name on one side and ANYBODY on the other. That way if I ever get lucky enough to have a boyfriend or more than one I wouldn't have to change the name.

Have a good week

Wally

 

[phoneguy2]

JUB was five years old in March.

Yesterday was Kahaih's fifth anniversary.

Mine will be next month. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was browsing my favorite index of gay porn sites, linkmeallover.ca and discovered that it had started a forum. Wanting to see what that was exactly, I browsed through the limited offerings, if I remember correctly, there were just three areas. People with somewhat unusual screennames were posting what appeared to be everyday conversation-like topics. Living in a small (550) rural town, I was amazed at possibility to interact with fellow gays.

I not only joined, I MOVED IN. The unusual screennames became real people and we became a family of sorts. We cheered each other in good times and supported during bad. New members joined and the site grew. Some of us changed our screennames and the site joined in by not only changing its name but also becoming a dot com.

I have moved from that small town into a larger metropolitan area, JUB has grown into an extremely large community and one thing has remained the same: a lot of unusual screennames are still real people.

 

[phoneguy2]

Long time no visit. It’s been over 4 years since my last blog entry and a couple since I have spent any time or posted in the forums. There was the occasional visit to the galleries or videos but that is another story for another time.

What has been happening all that time you may ask. Even if you didn’t, I’m going to pretend you did just so I can continue to write this entry. The short answer is in going from a full time management position to a part time hourly one I had enough financial problems that I had to give up internet service at home. For over a year, my internet usage was confined to the public library. Not actually a place where I could browse an adult themed web-site.

All of that changed drastically on Halloween 2009. The morning started as usual by leaving the house a little after 5 AM so I could open the store at 6. By 6:30 AM, I was exhibiting the signs of a stroke. I felt almost as if I were drunk. My speech became slurred, my coordination had faltered to the point I had trouble pressing the right keys on the register and I felt like I was going to fall sideways to my right. My only customer at the time suggested I call the ambulance. I nixed that idea saying something along the line that I just needed a few minutes rest.

Within the hour, I called my boss and told him he needed to come to work as I didn’t feel well. He made record time in getting there and also wanted me to call the ambulance. I again said no and asked him to take me home. To this day I am still not sure of my reasoning for that decision. Did I honestly believe what was happening wasn’t that serious? Was my mind becoming confused or was I afraid of what was to come? I would strongly suggest that someone in a similar situation NOT follow my example.

Once at home, I felt uncomfortable enough to go next door to my landlords. They finally convinced me to seek medical attention. Giving in to my stupid demand of no ambulance, they took me to the nearest hospital. I spent the next 8 or so hours in the emergency room while my right side grew increasingly weaker. By 6 PM, I was in a room upstairs hooked up to oxygen and intravenous tubes. When my dinner arrived at 6:30, I couldn’t pick up the silverware. This caused me to become upset and agitated. My blood pressure, which had started to slowly come down, reversed and shot up to a dangerously high level.

I was immediately wheeled down to ICU, put on a lisinipril drip, and every kind of monitor available. By midnight, my entire right side was paralyzed. My landlords were still with me and had been joined by 2 of my sisters. I dozed on and off all night but was scared out of my mind. My worst fears were coming true.

When I tried to speak, my tongue would hang out of the right side of my mouth. Swallowing was practically impossible so the nurse would hold an ice cube to my lips so I could get moisture. I couldn’t move my right arm or leg. I lay there the most helpless I had ever been and made a decision.

The way I saw it, I had three choices. One, I could continue lying there and hope I died. Not even an option as far as I was concerned. Two, I could give in and remain bedridden in a nursing home the rest of my days or I could fight it with all my resolve and strength. That was my decision.

Sunday afternoon the doctor had confirmed that I had had a stroke. He also informed me that there were signs of three previous ones and my brain had a considerable amount of white matter. All during the day I had been concentrating on moving either my arm or leg or both. By evening I could lift my leg about an inch off of the bed. My arm remained immobile.

Monday brought the therapists. In the morning, with their assistance, I stood beside the bed. The afternoon was a repeat of that feat with the addition of a single step to the right and then back left. The OT had me sit on the side of the bed and attempt to put on a pair of footies. By the end of the third session, I was wore out. I was also given a swallow test and put on a liquid diet. Monday night’s dinner was broth and juice but was the first I had had since Saturday morning.

Tuesday I accomplished three steps forward and managed to get both footies on. After a couple more tests I was taken back to a regular room in the late afternoon. For the next three days the four therapy sessions a day became intense, or so I thought. I walked about five feet from my bed and after a short rest in the wheelchair, back to my bed. I was able to put on not only the footies but also pajamas. Although my leg was improving, my right arm remained useless.

Friday, I was transferred to the rehab unit and began two weeks of actual intense therapy. As much as I cussed them and at times thought I hated them, the therapists in that unit were truly gifts from God. They were the most caring, dedicated people I have ever met. My determination and desire to once again live alone were contributing factors in my recovery but they expertly guided me along that path.

More in the next blog on the two weeks in rehab and subsequent return home.