Pillsbury Dough Boy dies at 45

[leomendez93]

How sad! I wish I were there to eat him!

 

[FPNY]

I heard pop tart and marie calandar were having an affair. it was rumored that dough boy was the result of them mixing the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients together in thirds......

 

[jdcnow]

Now THAT'S...comedy! Thank you for the best laugh I've had in weeks!

 

[jdcnow]

I heard pop tart and marie calandar were having an affair. it was rumored that dough boy was the result of them mixing the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients together in thirds......

Yeah, pop tart got around. Turns out he and Mrs. Baird had a little something on the side, too.

 

[wenchine-mahtapasikan]

Sad news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 45 and rollin in dough.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota , Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half- baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into him came out clean.

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO!!!!!! THE ONLY PERSON WHO EVER CARED ABOUT ME, GOOOOONE!!!!

Oh wait, I still have Ben and Jerry.

This is some profound shit. This is beautiful. Like... damn.

Did you write this? If you did... can we get married?

 

[NedNickerson]

All of a sudden, I've got a hankering for some hot Crescent Rolls and butter...

 

[CGHJ]

That was maybe the funniest single piece of comedy I've ever read.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Sad news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 45 and rollin in dough.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota , Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half- baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into him came out clean.

awwww you're a sick sonovabitch bw! hehehe lol@yeast infection

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

All of a sudden, I've got a hankering for some hot Crescent Rolls and butter...

with extra yeast infection...

 

[Ninja108]

ROFL.....thanks for the laugh!

 

[resonance]

I thought someone had actually died from the title of the thread.

 

[thewiz]

Yes, it is true; he swung both ways. I have it on very good authority that he really liked to have his ass eaten.

He had tried several different businesses but never found himself rolling in the dough although he was often found to hang out with some pretty hot cookies.

In his later years the many failures seemed to be taking their toll on him and he would be heard yelling at strangers on the street: "bite me."

As to the ex-wife, I heard she had run off to Florida where she was referred to as a "brown and serve." All those years in the sun turned her into a raisin, however. It was alleged that she was quite kneady....

 

[alley]

I'll miss that little giggle he always gave when I donkey punched him in the stomach...(he was a bit of a masochistic freak...I've even burned him a few times and he kept coming back for more)

 

[NedNickerson]

In lieu of flours, just send a little dough.

===================

 

[asianb]

I read somewhere that He was heartbroken when He was told He would not be a Guest Judge on Top Chef's 'Just Desserts'.

 

[thewiz]

Rumor is that he also had premature ovenulation.....

 

[asianb]

I confess... I stole this from another web site. The only part I added was about the toothpick. But I thought it was funny enough to steal.

Thanks for finding and sharing because It's pretty damn funny!

 

[diamondstar]

This shit right here made my day.