Platonic Relationship

[migelhost]

Thanks for the replies guys. I have gone through your replies, marriage forums, read lots of stories about people in sexless marriages and what they go through, thought about my relationship and this is the conclusion that I have come to.


First of all, I understand that deciding to be celibate when I don't actually want to, is going to harm me in the future.
I do not fancy doing it either, but I really have no CHOICE. I know you would say that yes I do have a choice, you can be friends with him and let him find someone who is asexual probably. But No, Its not that simple.

And more importantly in India, its next to impossible to even think of it. But anyways let me not go there.

The most important thing is that we love each other. And yes I would feel a couple of times that we are rather friends than lovers but then Ill just have to deal with it. I know the kind of person he is, he would be devastated if i decide to end this relationship, and say we would remain friends. Am I justified in shattering him emotionally from within just because I am not getting SEX? I atleast do think so.

I have to compromise on a lot of things in life until now, and when I got into this relationship I thought atleast with this relationship I wouldn't have to compromise on anything, but I was wrong. Anyways if that's how it's meant to be. I will try my best to live this way.

And MOST importantly I need to realize that at the end of the day, its me myself who has to keep myself happy and take care of myself. Nobody else will do it from me. I need to love myself more and then I believe I would surely be able to cope with it.

Thanks a lot for your posts guys.

 

[aneal_lingus]

just tossing this out there, but maybe there is some emotional or traumatic reason why he strays away from sexual desires.
[just saying its possible. tread with caution]

 

[TX-Beau]

Thanks for the replies guys. I have gone through your replies, marriage forums, read lots of stories about people in sexless marriages and what they go through, thought about my relationship and this is the conclusion that I have come to.


First of all, I understand that deciding to be celibate when I don't actually want to, is going to harm me in the future.
I do not fancy doing it either, but I really have no CHOICE. I know you would say that yes I do have a choice, you can be friends with him and let him find someone who is asexual probably. But No, Its not that simple.

And more importantly in India, its next to impossible to even think of it. But anyways let me not go there.

The most important thing is that we love each other. And yes I would feel a couple of times that we are rather friends than lovers but then Ill just have to deal with it. I know the kind of person he is, he would be devastated if i decide to end this relationship, and say we would remain friends. Am I justified in shattering him emotionally from within just because I am not getting SEX? I atleast do think so.

I have to compromise on a lot of things in life until now, and when I got into this relationship I thought atleast with this relationship I wouldn't have to compromise on anything, but I was wrong. Anyways if that's how it's meant to be. I will try my best to live this way.

And MOST importantly I need to realize that at the end of the day, its me myself who has to keep myself happy and take care of myself. Nobody else will do it from me. I need to love myself more and then I believe I would surely be able to cope with it.

Thanks a lot for your posts guys.

Last try. I think you're deluding yourself that love conquers all, it doesn't. and that your relationship will be healthy if you capitulate totally and don't insist on compromise. Which is what you're doing.

Of course you have a choice, you choose to say in this situation that's upsetting you. You choose to sacrifice your needs for his issue. So be it.

You choose to stay, you choose. You always choose.

 

[andy12]

Yes I did. He doesn't have any interest and thinks its not important. He told me that there are other ways to control your sexual excitement than having sex.

Why would he want to "control" it? Does he have any other issues?