Playing hard to get

[tonyboy]

Is it worth it? I'm currently in a predicament with a guy who lives not exactly close to me, and even though I think about him every single day (every moment of every day), I will not let him on to this. I still want to keep my cool, keep him guessing, and not let him in on my true feelings.

Do you think the laid back, a bit aloof, personality type has benefits in regards to attracting guys?

No I do not.....
How do you figure he'd know how much you care for him? Do you think he's got some sort of ESP?
It's up for you to decide if it's worth it or not. Keep him guessing long enough and he will find someone else, that I can almost guarantee you.

 

[windgates]

You can be aloof, but you can also let him know how you feel. If you don't let him know how you feel, unless he is really unrelenting, he is going to give up because he won't think you're interested. I wouldn't go as far to tell him you think of him every moment of every day because, well, thats a little obsessive.

 

[screwnutty]

Don't play games with people's minds. That's not nice!

Tell him how you feel. This isn't cute or going to make him want you more. He's more then likely going to move on to another guy if you don't get off that high horse of yours!

No disrespect intended! I just hate it when people play mind games with me!

 

[Yorkeys Knob]

Well don;t play too hard to get or it will be an opportunity lost.

 

[Otherwise]

O.k. first I just want to make a disclaimer that I'm probably one of the worst people to give relationship advice. With that being said...I tend to do the aloof laid back thing that apparently does attract guys but doesn't keep them. I never tell a guy how much I like them or what I think about them for the exact same reason you do, I don't want them to be able to use it to manipulate me. However, I wouldn't advise running up to the guy and telling him that you think about him everyday at least not right away. Feel him out and see how he feels about you or just tell him flat out I like you do you like me.

Playing hard to get is fun, but at some point it turns into either running away or toying with the guy. I'm all about protecting yourself but figure how much you're willing to say and do, weigh your options bite the bullet and go for it. Good luck and I hope this helped a little bit.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

It all really depends on the dude on the other side of the fence.

There are guys, who go into overdrive, if you stay aloof and want you at every cost. I am afraid that the number of those dudes is diminishing very fast these days, with all the connect opportunities we enjoy nowadays.

For my part, even the slightest notion that my possible BF is playing any game with me, would immediately spell GAME OVER in big fat and red letters, and I'll happily move on, leaving him to his schemes. Few guys out there really like manipulative types, or even those who are conceived as such.

Sure, we have all made a bad experience that once, we spilled out our beans, this other dude started using it for his own selfish goals. So, what do you do about that?

You take it one step at a time. Patience is a great virtue, when it comes to relationships. Not passivity, aloofness or some sort of scheming.

You make one step and make sure he makes the next one. They say, it takes 2 to tango not without the reason.

Starting a relationship is one thing. Being able to sustain it is a totally different issue.

Ask yourself honestly, what can you bring into the relationship. What are your best qualities that will make this dude stick with you through the thick and thin? And project those qualities forward. Make sure that he understands that you come in a most valuable package and that he has every good reason to keep you next to him.

SC

 

[benlemieux2003]

Well in my experience and situation I'm currently in, there's a balance between hard to get and just putting out when preparing the field for a relationship. That balance is good for not overwhelming each other yet keep things interesting.

 

[G-Lexington]

Depends on what you mean by "playing hard to get". Generally, I don't throw all my cards down on the table and say "You know what? I'm extremely attracted to you and want to climb into your bed - whaddaya say?" But neither do I feign indifference. I splint the difference. I call him, or e-mail him, continune the conversation, and hope to see some interest on his end as well.

Lex

 

[rareboy]

Aloof only works if you are a cat.

 

[Lube]

Aloofness is one extreme; desperation is the other.

As with most things, the attack is somewhere in the middle.

 

[LateNite85]

At the risk of sounding desperate, I wouldn't dare play hard to get if a guy I liked was interested in me.

 

[screwnutty]

I guess it's normal if your busy and can't see him until the next weekend....but I'd tell him that. But if your bored and he's free....why not hook up for the night and hit a bar, movie or something fun?

 

[benlemieux2003]

So you guys think it's perfectly normal to not contact a guy you just met Saturday until maybe a week later?

Absolutely. Makes you less pushy.

 

[thermodynamics]

I guess you guys have just had different experiences. Every guy I've met has gotten into my pants and then we've just not connected, no matter how passionate our initial encounter.

I'm afraid if I let him on that I like him a ton, he'll just lose interest and use it to manipulate the situation.

How about this: don't play games with him, but tell him that you want to wait a while until sex. That'll let a relationship develop if it's going to, and if it doesn't, you haven't had sex with him.