Please Don't Make Fun

[Matterhorn]

So I'm sure this probably isn't the place for this, but I'm confused and not sure what to do. I've been attracted to guys (as well as girls) for awhile. I like gay porn and all that, but I've tried to fool around with guys on several occasions and it just doesn't do anything for me. I've actually been sort of repulsed and not turned on at all. I don't know what this means. The jist is I'm a much bigger fan of gay porn than straight, but when it comes to actual physical intimacty girls do it for me and guys don't. Does anyone else share my point of view or could anyone maybe shed some light on what might be going on ? Thanks

 

[talesofabyssjade]

You're the exact same dude (under a different name) that posted "my story" in str8 and bi section and no one answered...why are you trolling?

 

[swerve]

I cannot FATHOM the concept of being "repulsed" with sex with men...

NOR -- "physical intimacy" with girls *barf* lol...

So -- I guess I can't offer any advice -- other than EMBRACE who YOU are -- and do what makes you feel GOOD!!!

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>You're the exact same dude (under a different name) that posted "my story" in str8 and bi section and no one answered...why are you trolling?

How do you know?

We might see if we can have the mods move this to the CO&R section, where it's less likely to get BS replies.

So you like the porn, but not the act. What about the porn do you like? Where does the actual act come up short, in your opinion?

Lex

 

[talesofabyssjade]

>>>You're the exact same dude (under a different name) that posted "my story" in str8 and bi section and no one answered...why are you trolling?

How do you know?

We might see if we can have the mods move this to the CO&R section, where it's less likely to get BS replies.

So you like the porn, but not the act. What about the porn do you like? Where does the actual act come up short, in your opinion?

Lex

I say that because almost the exact same story has popped up 7 different times with different ppl within march-april......maybe its just a weird coincidence

 

[Telstra]

So I'm sure this probably isn't the place for this, but I'm confused and not sure what to do. I've been attracted to guys (as well as girls) for awhile. I like gay porn and all that, but I've tried to fool around with guys on several occasions and it just doesn't do anything for me. I've actually been sort of repulsed and not turned on at all. I don't know what this means. The jist is I'm a much bigger fan of gay porn than straight, but when it comes to actual physical intimacty girls do it for me and guys don't. Does anyone else share my point of view or could anyone maybe shed some light on what might be going on ? Thanks

you like gay porn but when it come to the real thing, you don't feel comfortable and uptight hence no fun with guys.

 

[star-warrior]

I shall move your thread with a 3day redirect into the Coming out, Relationships and Bisex Talk forum.

Please note it it a no-flame zone from here on in

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I say that because almost the exact same story has popped up 7 different times with different ppl within march-april......maybe its just a weird coincidence

In CO&R, they do come in waves, it seems. It seems our current wave is the "I can't be gay because I don't find women repulsive" threads. Which I must admit I like more than the "I want to suck my straight friend's cock!" threads.

Lex

 

[roadtripboy]

I don't know if you've heard of sex advice columnist Dan Savage in Seattle. I think he might be a good resource for you.

You can email him at:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=3709016

or call his podcast SavageLove (free at itunes) @
1-206-201-2720

Just a small warning, Dan can be a more than a bit blunt in his advice.

 

[Matterhorn]

Thanks for the advice. I'm nobody but myself, sorry if there were others with similar issues (though that does make me feel better). To answer Lex's question, when actually engaging with a guy, I simply don't feel anything. There's no spark, no gratification. It's just labored motions, most of which leave me feeling nothing but impatient. I find myself waiting for it to be over. With girls it's not like this at all. I don't think I'm uncomfortable with the idea. I've been pretty open to it. It's just I keep ending up disappointed.

 

[KaraBulut]

... Does anyone else share my point of view or could anyone maybe shed some light on what might be going on ? Thanks

It means:

1. You're bi with a fetish for gay porn. Or...
2. You're gay and need an emotional connection with people in order to fully engage in real-life sex.

Regardless of what it means, if you're happy and you're not bothered by jacking off to gay porn, then don't worry about it.

Life's too short really, so stop overthinking it- just come visit us here at JUB, check out the porn and give 'er a wank when you're in the mood.

I don't know if you've heard of sex advice columnist Dan Savage in Seattle.....

Just a small warning, Dan can be a more than a bit blunt in his advice.

'cause we're never blunt here.

 

[G-Lexington]

OK then. What do you like about gay porn, then? What turns you on with that?

Lex

 

[rareboy]

Perhaps the actual intimacy with a guy is too threatening.

But if fucking girls rocks your world and looking at gay porn gets you horned up, where's the problem?

 

[tallguy297]

Thanks for the advice. I'm nobody but myself, sorry if there were others with similar issues (though that does make me feel better). To answer Lex's question, when actually engaging with a guy, I simply don't feel anything. There's no spark, no gratification. It's just labored motions, most of which leave me feeling nothing but impatient. I find myself waiting for it to be over. With girls it's not like this at all. I don't think I'm uncomfortable with the idea. I've been pretty open to it. It's just I keep ending up disappointed.

Hey mate,

I highlighted 2 important passages out of your quote...

The first is crucial... being you is the most important thing you can do. So for now if this whole thing feels weird then thats just how it is for the time being. We all go through periods where exploration, pushing boundaries and open ourselves up can freak us out a little... so simply put, for now this is where you are comfortable. Does it mean thats all there is to this for you? Not necesarily but take your time to go forward... its not a race to reach some sexual end game... and you didnt learn to ride a bike the first day either. This is about boundaries and experiences... and you have a life time to discover both.

Secondly, it seems to me that right now the emotional angle of being with someone is critical to you enjoying the sexual experience... and that you are having a little trouble beleiving that its either ok to or that you want to make that connection with a guy.

Sex is a physical activity at its basic minumum... and for some thats enough. For others there has to be feeling and emotion involved... some sort of connection... trust, fun, happiness... passion. And thats whats missing from your experinces with guys.

Its a really common issue Matterhorn, suprising common in guys opening them selves up to the possibility of being bi or gay. Its a step in a journey that takes some time and patience to travel.

When you watch porn, theres no consequnces... no one knows, no one cares. But actually be with a guy means that things become real, it has meaning. And with that comes consequnces... and the admission to yourself that certain feelings might be more than just feelings.

The real question mate for now at least is, how do you actually feel about being bi or gay? I suspect if you answer that to yourself openly and honeslty you'll begin to unravell why these 2 experinces feel so different to you.

 

[G-Lexington]

Tallguy's post has me thinking. (Always dangerous.) Let me throw a hypothetical at you.

Think of a guy from porn that you think is hot. Now say he's your guy for the night. And he's utterly and completely at your disposal. He can and will do absolutely anything and everything you ask him to. He'll fuck you, you can fuck him. You can be on top, on bottom, or to the side. In bed, in the shower, in the hall, in a crowded bathroom, in a tumble dryer, in chocolate sauce, in leather restraints, in a fur suit. Or you can spend the whole night playing with his cock, his nuts, his ass, his nipples, his feet or his elbows. He is placing himself completely and utterly at your disposal.

...what would you like to do?

Lex