Please give me your honest opinion (dating related)

[TX-Beau]

I guess it would really depend on context. I don't have many hard and fast rules though, I care about stability. If you were on disability for Bi-Polar disorder (SOCIALISTS! We can't get disability for damn near anything around here) and you were aware and dealing, job or not you're not on the street or lilly-padding around town, I'd give it a shot, if I was interested.

But I would definitely be keeping my eyes open - I suppose that's not really fair, but I don't think I'd be able to help myself. There have always been Bi-Polar people, before we knew what it was, it was still there, and these people got into relationships, and out of them, they had families and lives, categorizing something doesn't make it somehow different than things always have been.

I'd probably try to treat that like every other guy I dated - try to make it work, leave if I can't.

 

[loveguys72]

My first boyfriend developed schizophrenia about 3 months after we met. He refused medication, became very paranoid, and ultimately dropped off the face of the earth. Prior to that, he had been a very sweet, sensitive, caring guy with a quirky sense of humor (which is why I first noticed him). If he'd been willing to take medication for his condition, I'd have been willing to stick by him. He wasn't, and I didn't get the chance.

In your case, if your condition was stable, or you're willing to take the steps necessary to make and keep it stable, then it would not be a deal breaker for me.

 

[innocentbychoice]

To the OP:

I think it depends on how you handle it. If you are able to function like a normal person (which I'm pretty sure you can under medication) then I don't think you'll have issues dating. But if you don't take your treatment seriously and go on crisis that's when you might have issues.

 

[innocentbychoice]

My first boyfriend developed schizophrenia about 3 months after we met. He refused medication, became very paranoid, and ultimately dropped off the face of the earth. Prior to that, he had been a very sweet, sensitive, caring guy with a quirky sense of humor (which is why I first noticed him). If he'd been willing to take medication for his condition, I'd have been willing to stick by him. He wasn't, and I didn't get the chance.

In your case, if your condition was stable, or you're willing to take the steps necessary to make and keep it stable, then it would not be a deal breaker for me.

Exactly. Something similar happened to a friend of mine whose bipolar disorder activated during a relationship. He got worse with time because not only wasn't he willing to take his medication but he started drinking and taking drugs. He hasn't been able to have a normal life since.

 

[Laufey]

I'm not worried at all about my disorder being much of a problem with a future boyfriend. I handle it very well and have always managed to keep it from being a burden on my loved ones. Like I said it's more of the depression side of the disorder rather than the manic one. Nobody has ever been able to figure out I'm mentally ill without me telling them, even if they have known me for a long time.

So again I'm not really worried about how the disorder effects a relationship... I'm just worried about the status making it more difficult to get into one.

You have one life to live with one chance for happiness and fulfillment with a partner and family of your own. You don't need to be the martyr for someone else's life with their burdens and liabilities.

Good luck finding the perfect guy.

I'm sure there are plenty of men out there without mental disorders who would be more of a burden in a relationship. You can't assume things like that.

But thanx for confirming to me that there are people out there with this mindset.

 

[hylas]

I'm sure there are plenty of men out there without mental disorders who would be more of a burden in a relationship. You can't assume things like that.

But thanx for confirming to me that there are people out there with this mindset.

hon, i already called him out on that, and it turns out he didnt mean it like that at all. just poor phrasing.

^ To clarify: If there's someone who has a problem with you being bipolar, then you move on and find someone who will accept you. If their uncertainty to date you is a liability, then find someone who has the patience and understanding to be with you. There is no reason to burden yourself over it.

 

[Laufey]

Nowhere in that does he say he's not one of those who has a problem with it. Nothing in the second post goes against what he said in the first one.

But either way he's right. I won't try to win someone over who has a problem with it. I was just still curious how common it is.

 

[evanrick]

not that hard to find someone. gay guys are generally easy.

as far as dating, a guy that cant accept himself or be honest and have real issues with his sexuality can be a large obstacle. ive had very close friendships fail because of identity issues.

by no means am i perfect & i have a friend that is bipolar and so intolerant of dishonesty yet cant embrace his own identity to the point he is a homophobe and a hypocrite. its fucking infuriating because of their 'game', way more than anything else.

its also painful to watch them try and cope and know you cant really do anything without making them feel outed.

 

[Laufey]

 

[eastofeden]

I think it all depends on the individual and the chemistry....

I was a Bette Midler fan back in the 70s and 80s and this question reminds me of her story about fried eggs. ....or the line from the Joni Mitchell song 'People's Parites'......"weighing the beauty and the imperfection to see if I'm worthy".....

The point of reference...everyone has something...and I have personally never witnessed true beauty without a healthy dose of imperfection.

I dont' think bi-polar necessarily defines anyone. My lover has ADHD and he told me when I met him (except it was just called ADD then). It certainly hasn't affected how much I love him as I can truly say I love him unconditionally. When I have to tell him something that I know he will need to hear and retain I make a special effort to get his attention and make sure he is focused so he will have the information he needs. I definitely do not see his ADHD as having anything "wrong" with him. It is just a part of who he is. I would suspect the same of bi polar. I have friends who have told me they are bi polar and I worked with bartenders who were bi polar and to tell you the truth...I never really "got it". I didn't see much difference with them versus people who weren't bi polar.

I was far more concerned with the folks who had Donna Reed Syndrome...and there is no known treatment for that. I would never date anyone with Donna Reed Syndrome.