Please help, I'm worried I might have got STDs

[snclas]

Hi guys, there are some concerns I need to ask someone and I really need to get this off my chest. The thing is, I hooked up with a guy a couple of days ago and we kinda slept together and now I'm really afraid I might have been infected with STDs. We had some unprotected mutual oral, kissing and he fingered me a lil bit (we didn't have intercourse though.) We did not have any body fluid (except saliva) get in contact with each other (I hope so cuz I wasn't near his penis at all when he ejaculated.) Over the past few days, I have been totally freaked out about this and blaming myself for not having any protection before; there's not one moment when I stop thinking about whether or not I might have got the diseases. There are no symptoms visible just now (it's only been 3 days since we did that.) I am now considering seeing a health care provider and getting tested for all the STDs that can be detected soon afterward. Do you think it is too soon for me to get tested right now ? (Like I said, it's only been 3 days) What are the chances that I might have been infected ?
I'm so worried right now, any responses from you guys now would be hugely appreciated...
Lukas

 

[cityboi]

Doesn't sound like you have to worry. Oral, kissing, etc. not much to worry about.

 

[snclas]

Thank you marleyisalegend; my guy has gone abroad for business now and won't be returning til next month. I was so stupid; I think I will practice abstinence from now to the rest of my life.
BTW, I thought you would have to wait for at least some weeks for the tests to be accurate ? And also, would results be given back right away or do I have to wait ?

 

[snclas]

Thank you so much guys; that relieves me a wee bit and I think I'm gonna go see my health care provider tomorrow just to make sure (hope they won't judge me and hope everything will be fine.)

 

[alley]

Look for a local non-profit clinic---the first time I got tested it was very expensive(even with insurance)--and then I found a local place that works with the gay community and it has nominal fees for most testing and some tests are completely free and it is totally anonymous--no need to go through your work's insurance provider.

 

[snclas]

I'm from Britain and I'm actually in Rhode Island right now so pretty much I'm uninsured :-(
Have found this place http://www.providencechc.org/matriarch/default.asp Would that be a place with low cost testing ? And I mean money is not really a problem now; all I want is my mind to be free from this again...
P.S: How expensive would the tests usually be ? Except for HIV (which will have to be waited a couple of months), I'm not sure which tests to go for right now...

 

[snclas]

I've been browsing through a couple of health service sites and some of them say "services available to residents" (of that specific region). So does that mean I'm not eligible for services at that centre ?

 

[snclas]

I did. Well, I'm actually living in Bristol right now and there doesn't seem to be any clinics with free or low-cost testing around here so the nearest ones are in Providence. I don't know, do you have to be a permanent resident or something to be eligible for it ? or you just have to live in that state ?
(The one that I'm planning on going tomorrow says "open to all residents of Bristol and the surrounding area"; I guess that could apply to me as well)

 

[snclas]

I love you marleyisalegend; thank you so much for your help (and everybody else's, of course). I'm keeping my fingers crossed right now that everything will be smooth tomorrow. Cheers !!!

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm from Britain and I'm actually in Rhode Island right now so pretty much I'm uninsured :-(
Have found this place http://www.providencechc.org/matriarch/default.asp Would that be a place with low cost testing ? And I mean money is not really a problem now; all I want is my mind to be free from this again...
P.S: How expensive would the tests usually be ? Except for HIV (which will have to be waited a couple of months), I'm not sure which tests to go for right now...

Providence has a large and very active gay community.

Prov Ambulatory Health Care Foundation (PAHCF) is where I was going to refer you but you've already found them. Their fees are sliding scale, so they will charge you based upon what you can pay.

RI Health Center Association (274-1771) also has small regional clinics that accept sliding scale arrangements.

I'm not sure why you're in the US but being here without health insurance is never a good idea.

 

[snclas]

Providence has a large and very active gay community.

Prov Ambulatory Health Care Foundation (PAHCF) is where I was going to refer you but you've already found them. Their fees are sliding scale, so they will charge you based upon what you can pay.

RI Health Center Association (274-1771) also has small regional clinics that accept sliding scale arrangements.

I'm not sure why you're in the US but being here without health insurance is never a good idea.

Well, I do but just discovered it wouldn't cover any screening testing

 

[snclas]

Yeah, just called them; I'm eligible and everything but it's too soon to test so they told me to come back in 6 weeks. Now I'm worried as hell...

 

[3nipples]

Abstinence is not a safe alternative. Your will is going to succumb to your sex drive eventually; better to know how to handle yourself.

From the activities you describe, you have very little to worry about. Go for the test in 6 weeks and in the meantime, inform yourself about what what the risks are and how to protect yourself (and your partners).

 

[luminum]

I think what he means is that it's poor practice to put all your eggs in one basket. Abstinence is all well and good as a means of protecting yourself against STIs until you have sex. But if you like sex, and you know how to protect yourself and take the appropriate precautions, there will be no need to abstain out of fear. Abstaining out of principle is fine.

One point I wanted to note was that while it's always best to get tested rather than not get tested, there is such a thing as it being "too soon to get tested." If an STI is detectable only within 3 - 6 months, such as HIV with standard tests, then there can be harm in getting tested, thinking you're clean and then going out and having unprotected sex again.

I would take marley's advice and get tested ASAP, but bear in mind that some STI's such as herpes (2 - 10 days if by viral culture while a symptom is present, 3 months if by blood test when no symptoms are present), and HIV (3 - 6 months) have a delayed detection period, so you need to get tested again to be sure.

For other STIs:
- gonorrhea: detectable within 2 - 10 days
- chlamydia: detectable within a few days
- syphilis: detectable within days of exposure, though retesting in 3 months is recommended to be certain
- HPV/Genital warts: no reliable tests for men, often diagnosed by genital warts that may appear

But, I tell you this not because I want to scare you into believing you have something, but so that you'll know what you can test for now and expect a reliable answer from, what you should get tested for in a few months and get a reliable answer from, and what you can look out for in the future. Like other people said, what you did is relatively low-risk activity so the chances of you getting anything is low. However, when you begin engaging in more "high-risk" behavior, hopefully utilizing practices that will reduce risk, like condoms for anal sex, you will hopefully be able to know what to look out for. So if a guy you don't know wants to have unprotected sex with you and claims he got tested last week and came out clean but had sex last night, you can tell him to wrap it up or just say no.

Oh, and here's a great resource on STIs: http://www.avert.org/std.htm

 

[saymyname]

It was just some BJ... calm down.