The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Please Help Me!

R

-Ready-

Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Posts
11
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Chicago
I need help. Serious help. I'm gonna start from the beginning. So since september I've been talking to this guy. I told him I liked him in september and it began from there. We'd text and talk on the phone and stuff and everything was good. I really started to like this guy. So earlier on he texted me and told me he didn't want a relationship or anything sexual. I was upset, but accepted it and we continued things as they were. So we still would text each other and talk on the phone and stuff. Now since september I've told him how I felt. Sent him a card on his BDAY, written him letters, sent him an email etc. Just to get him to understand how strongly I feel for him. So one day I was textin him and I told him I was looking for that special person in my life. And he responded and said that we have all the elements of a relationship, just not the title. He said he didn't like the titles. So eventually he told me he wanted to be friends with benefits. Which recently lead to us being sexual. So when he left my college this past saturday I wrote him a note and told him how I felt again. I told him I'm falling in love with him and asked him would he be my valentine. He said he would always be my Valentine as FRIENDS and he said him and all his friends are single so on V-Day they gone be partying. This crushed my spirit. He also sent me a text and told me there's love between us, but he's not in love with me. I also sent him friend a message asking his best friend for advice as well.

So my question to you all is what do I do?? I just want to get over him because I hate these feelings. It's like I wanna continue to pursue him, but at the same time I just wanna get over him.

FYI) I'm new to this gay dating so I know I've made alot of mistake already.
WHAT TO DO?? :confused::confused:
 
DTMFA.

He has not given you any mixed signals at all. He likes you as a friend. He's even willing to have sex with you from time to time. But he doesn't love you "like that". Never has, never will. It's just not in it to love you.

There's nothing to pursue. You've gotten everything you can from him - friendship, an occasional romp in bed - but that's as far as it's going to go. You will NOT "win his heart". He will not "be your valentine". He's not in love with you, nor will he ever be.

It's up to you what to do. You can continue puppy-dogging after him, but I think you can do better. Make him a long-distance friend, cut out the sex, and go find yourself a guy (or girl) who might actually be interested in pairing up with you.

Lex
 
It's a tough lesson but love just ain't enough.

You can't love someone into loving you back. And you can't love someone into a relationship.

On one hand, it's good that he's being honest with you. On the other hand, it's not good that he allowed this relationship to become physical knowing that you had romantic feelings for him that he can't return.

-Ready- said:
I'm new to this gay dating so I know I've made alot of mistake already.
WHAT TO DO??
Click to expand...

The question at this point is whether you're going to get hurt a bit by ending it yourself or whether you're going to get hurt a lot when he ends it (most likely when he does find the person that he loves).

So, which will it be?
 
You both are great friends, but it seems like moving on is the thing to do at this point. It is not going to be easy, but you need to start taking steps to move on with your life. Diversify yourself with other people.
 
You need to get out and meet more people. Once you meet people you will feel better. It does suck that he does not love you back like you want but just have to move on. You do have him as a friend though. At least you know where you two stand and you can move on and find someone who will have the same feelings for you.
 
Well I'm not experienced in this scene either, and I understand you might have feelings for him but you must KNOW he doesn't feel the exact same, or even that similar about you.

Your feelings are very strong for him, but you are just setting yourself up to get hurt.

I say lay off. Give him some space. You are suffocating him.
 
I thank you all for this advice and I have decided that it's time to move on :cry::cry::cry:

This feels so terrible :cry::cry::cry:

Thanks again everyone.
 
Sorry for the double post, but I have new info. On myspace I changed my status and said you can't convince someone to like you and even tho we friends this hurts big time i hate hate giving up. So he commented on that status and said "don't give up, all you got to do is let people ease into things. Don't convince them to fall for you but convince them of the benefits of being with you...but don't give up"

What is he doing??? He knows the status was about him.
 
My gut feeling - and that's all it is - is that he's scared of "losing you". Not that I think he does love you like you love him, mind you. But he likes having you love him, if that makes any sense. And he may be scared of losing that.

Lex
 
"people" is not the same as "me"

It sounds like he's giving you advice for the next guy you meet.

Either way, you're better giving him space and moving on.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top