Please help me!!!

[stevexxx]

you are physically attracted to men, but only emotionally connected with women

 

[looseliam]

Leave it for now. Give him space. Let him initiate contact.

 

[texan_slant]

If you conscious enough to reach OVER her to rub his back, then you prob shouldn't have risked it; she was right there next to y'all!

Unfortunately, you BOTH were drinking, and shit happens. Yeah, he started it alright, but unfortunately, circumstances are such that whatever happened between the both of you caused the breakup, and he'll never forget that.

Give him space - he needs to process everything, including his emotions.

To be very honest, even though it wasn't necessarily your fault entirely, you might lose him as a friend.

 

[strosbuff88]

I can very readily see you're a caring, charming guy.

With this situation that arose you have variable's .. and some can not be easily examined.

What happened is that by you allowing yourself to get heavily intoxicated you aided those close to you see who you are. I'd consider that you were provoked by this male friend of yours, but you have to accept the implications of your actions however.

Definitely, as advised, I'd also would suggest simply give it time. It's possible he is going through the very emotions you are.. he might be infuriated over the events that occurred..

After giving it time I would have a personal, private conversation with him.

But for future reference, know what your limits are when being around those substances buddy

 

[The White Stripe]

To be fair....he kissed you. So I don't think its fair for you to take all the blame for this.

I would step away from the situation and not touch it again until he or she contacts you.

As far as your sexuality goes...I would declare you a emotional hetrosexual, but a physical bisexual. I might be wrong though.

 

[medic1]

^^^^^
What a great piece of advice you gave the guy you can just tell how fucked
up he is by reading his post .
Like you i think he initiated the start of it all by kissing the guy out of nowhere
and we can all remember what we were like at 18 just one big boiling pot of
hormones and emotions .
All we can do is offer the poster our advice and support i for one have an idea
about what he is going through just now .
My advice fella dont put all the blame on you it takes two to tango and dont
forget an hour later he was trying it on again try and keep your chin up buddy
all the best .

 

[alli-berri]

You sound gay, dude. It also sounds like you've got homophobia pretty deeply woven into your consciousness.

Don't worry, you will figure this all out. Check out "latent homosexuality".

I've been trying to tease the latency out of myself for the last four or five years, and have become more and more comfortable being myself around others. For example, listen to yourself:

I dont want the WHOLE city to know.....

Now, maybe you meant that you don't want others to know you broke them up. But I'm willing to bet that what you're really afraid of is being "outed". Just believe that it's OK to be you.

 

[star-warrior]

OK. First post. Im 18 and in college. I dont know what I am?? Heres my quick life story....please help me!

Firstly, let me welcome you to JUB

I "get hard" with both girls and guys. Ive had sexual encounters with men and women. I dont wanna marry a man, but ONLY like the sex. I also only watch gay porn, it just hits the spot. Ive had sex with guys I "thought" were straight. Thats why im so confused...they say they are straight but they suck my dick??

Knowing what ticks your boxes means you're already halfway there. Being comfortable with it takes self confidence, which will improve with age. The only advice I can offer in relation to this is, don't put yourself into a pidgeonhole and be labeled. In the end, all labels are somewhat inadequate, considering the complexity of human emotions including the sexual aspects of your persona.

Here is the event that "all of a sudden: set this off......

This past weekend, I went home from college for my ex-girlfriends 19th birthday party. We got a lot of beer and started drinking. I was REALLY drunk. A guy i met last weekend was at the party with his girlfriend. We were both VERY intoxicated. Me and him were outside smoking a Black&Mild (I dont usually smoke, only special occassion). He starts "eyeing" me and asking for some puffsof my Black. After we talk for awhile he puts his arm around me....(it was just us outside)
Then we start kissing (tounge and everything). After we kiss we go inside. About an hr later we were out back and i was eating some cookies (the bite sized ones) I have one halfway in my mouth and he gets the other half with his mouth?!?!

Two things, first, he's just someone you met, you don't know him as a person nor his past with his girlfriend.

Kissing like that if he initiated it seems rather brazen on his part.

Him and his girl starts fighting about something. He gets pissed and goes inside a bedroom and lays down. I go talk to him. Then his girlfriend comes in and they talk it out. She gets in the bed, I was wasted so I wanted to go to sleep too. I took off my shirt and get in bed. He was on the other side, she was in the middle, and I was on the other side of her...

As we were laying there. My had was over both of them and on his back. I guess I "rubbed" his back and she knew...She gets up and start cussing. They go out into the living room and starts screaming...they fight and EVERYONE is screaming. She yells at him "Why the fuck are u and (me) messing around, are yall gay"?!?
She and him get in the car and leave.....

She is pissed off because she's not getting any attention. It may sound condescending, but at your age, it's all about being 'me, me, me', and for her, she's finding that the attention you gave him and the attention he has given you has left her somewhat out of the loop. In their relationship, it maybe she's already suspected something about him. He may not be giving her his full attention, and you're only one of the things that lead her to the breakup.

The argument prior to his going to the bedroom maybe indicative of her insecurities in this matter.

Its like 330 am so im tired and go to sleep. This morning I wake up hungover and confused. Everyone at that party knows the story. (just the laying in bed part)
She told him "im done with you, go have sex with him(me)"...They are broken up and he wont talk to me. I txted him and he said "leave me alone"....

It's happened now, and you can't take it back. In which case, you'll need to deal with the guilt aspect. Personally, though you were there and she's blaming you, I don't think it's all your fault at all. It's their relationship and if he was crass enough to bring his girlfriend and make moves on another person (male or female) then the blame of "infidelity" lies with him.

.........................................................................................................................

I dont know what to do. I dont wanna loose him (as a friend). I dont want the WHOLE city to know.....Its hurts me to know that I "broke them up"...Its ALL MY FAULT. Im depressed, mentally im hurting...i feel soooo bad...but I dont feel like i did anything. He kissed me first and "flirted" with me.....what do I do?? What do I say?? Who am I?? Who is he??

I dont cry, and I cried today....feel horriable....advise please

You've just met him, according to the statement at the top of the message. I'd leave him to sort his head out, and see where his heart lies. His girlfriend is right, she's better without him if he can't hang on to a relationship without straying - sorry, I'm old school about that.

To recap, don't beat yourself about this too much, it's happened and that's that. This is fundamentally a row between him and his girlfriend, so, it's best if he wants to be alone, to leave him be.

 

[versatileplayer]

Seems as though you have issues with the idea of being gay - that's probably getting in the way of the formation of emotional attachments to other men - hence its just sex for you at this point.

Go where you dick leads you - you're just 18. You don't have to decide.

Give your buddy some space - and let him figure himself out.

 

[bankside]

Soooo, you don't only like the sex. Obviously if this situation upsets you and you don't want to lose him as a friend, then you have the full range of normal human emotions and he isn't just a chance at a quick lay.

Who knows what is going to happen, but I do think you're right about letting them cool off and realizing you can't fix everything that happened that night.

 

[versatileplayer]

Thank y'all so much for the advice. After sleeping on it, all I can do is keep my head up and move on. Honestly, I don't even know what "straight" is anymore. So many ppl I though were straight I end up having sex with. This kid for example, he a southern kid with all the sterotype aspects of a straight guy. He's real southern with muscels, a truck, tattoos.....he'll, he's got a huge rebel flag tattoo on his back......

Im gonna leave it alone and see what happens. I "love" women and everything. But I just like sex with men too. I want kids and a wife and everything. Im also going to school to become a police officer....

I hope they get back together and move on. Now I know not to touch a dudes back when im drunk. Lol

The family thing - don't sweat that - if you figure out that you're gay (not saying you are) - you can still have a family - kids and all - there are lots of options for having kids, not only adoption but surrogacy, fathering a child for a lesbian couple...... - and there are LOTS of gay cops out there.

Your friend - lots of guys don't fit the gay stereotype. Not all of us are running around in designer clothes and speaking with a lisp.

My bf in college was from Kentucky - and would seem extremely hetero to anyone who doesn't know him - ditto for my uncle who retired from the Marine Corps after 40 years..............

 

[Ninja108]

SOunds like you have a few things to figure out...starting with coming to terms about who you really are and what you really want. Best of luck!

 

[jizzinmypants]

LMAO. Why were you touching him in bed with his girlfriend right there? What the F8ck is wrong with you??

Anyway it's not as big of deal as it seems. Let it blow over and then talk it out with the guy. That way you two can come to terms with what happened and how to move forward.