Please Help: Was I Raped?

[ilBardo]

Carrying on from what LilLightning said, it depends on the jurisdiction for the actual statutory provisions for rape. The law has changed recently in the UK to provide for the more complicated nature of cases of sexual offences.

Over here in England, if penetration has already occurred and withdrawal of consent is given (ie you give them an unequivocal 'no') and further penetration is, strictly speaking, rape.

BUT, there are numerous problems and difficulties to overcome from what the OP has provided here. If I were your lawyer, I would advise an honest chat with your boyfriend rather than the police. But then again, I'm an english lawyer, and not an American, one. Maybe someone could clarify?

 

[rollex_2000]

Stop making a wuss about it. It was not rape. Period!
And no don't report anything to anybody. Next time you are having sex make sure to talk to him and let him know that you will expect him to stop at any moment you say stop. however if you choose to actually do it more then occasionally expect your bf to loose interest in you and start cheating around. Pursuing game is fun before the actual intercourse started. Once you are at it your guy expect nothing but implied submission. if you are going to be bossing around, that's fine and sure you have the right to do that and even claim that you were raped should he continue after you asked him to stop, but don't come back here in tears and complain that now he is cheating on you.

Cheers....

p.s. on the very serious side though if you feel like you have been hurt (emotionally of physically) just talk to him. The chances are he meant no harm to you and he only continued because he was really about to cum.

 

[bluedragon4]

I can't believe you think this is rape and would report him to the authorities! You obviously do not trust him and are all dramatic so maybe you should leave him before you ruin his life. I could just see this in court and everyone rolling their eyes. Some gay men just want to be a victim and see things where there is nothing. You gonna start to cry now whenever he fucks you and drop into the fetal position? How far will you take this?

 

[TofuEater]

This would never ever fly as rape in any court of law and Rightfully so, It would be a huge slap in the face for those who have actually been raped. There is no intent whatsoever, A suggestion of "Lets stop" is ambiguous and is not the same as screaming stop or no or get off me.. and definitely would not indicate the removal of consent that was there is the first place.

I am not going to personally attack you the way you have attacked me, but If you read my post you would see that I did say it was disrespectful and could be grounds for a break up in my opinion. IF this is my belief like I stated it does it really sound like I condone this behavior and would practice it myself? not likely

I agree! Canadians think alike . The first thing that popped into my head was the above bolded part of your response. This, to me, is more of an issue of setting boundaries and talking to him about it, since you feel really strongly about it.

 

[Fetishboy64]

What the hell no it's not rape? 1) he's your bf and would never intend on raping you 2) if he was just at climax then his horny side would've been the one that pushed you down it's like wanking, getting to the point of no return and stopping. Don't report him or break up with him, he hasn't jumped on you ripped your clothes off and shoved that thing up you

 

[Mellored]

No really should mean No, but YES, Yes, Yes, Yes, No! is a little unfair for the sake of a few seconds. It sounds to me like you don't even feel like you were raped, and if you have to ask if it was rape then it really wasn't.

 

[thisisinteresting]

When you said "Let's stop" did you mean "I wanted to stop, maybe take a break or switch things up" or did you mean "I need to stop, something's wrong, something hurts, I'm uncomfortable."

This, this this. This post brings up some information you left out.

"I said let's stop he came a few seconds later" is very vague.

Either way you obviously need to talk to him about it, or it will just be on your mind more and more in unhealthy ways. Communicate.

 

[FiguringStuffOut]

I wanted to thank everyone who took time to respond to my post. I appreciate all your comments, advice and suggestions.

 

[aussiesurferboy]

How much more plainly can I put it than what I posted...

NO MEANS NO!!!

I don't care if these two had been together for 30 years. If a wife (or husband) says stop, and you don't, it's RAPE! I don't care if it was, "let's stop for now and we'll do it again later". That is perfectly acceptable, and the bf should have IMMEDIATELY stopped. IT WAS RAPE! Plain and simple. I certainly hope no one ever decides to partner with you knowing that you'd just as soon rape them if you haven't cum yet just because they did.

well actually... this is bullshit

no doesn't always mean no.
sometimes when i say no it means "i want you to try harder to seduce me"
or sometimes when is say no it means "i'm not sure" or "maybe".
and sometimes when i say no it just means plain "yes".

nothing is black and white. especially when you are seconds away from an orgasim!!!

 

[phillo]

If you have time to search for a gay porn forum to ask if you may or may not have been raped it's prob a safe bet you weren't...

i read through this whole post & oddkun's response is great...

the original post does not sound like rape but he does sound genuine but the fact that he didn't follow up suggests this was resolved.

 

[nsguy2]

I don't see how he forced himself on anyone as the sex seemed OK until the second guy was about to receive the same satisfaction as the first.

What's next, drving a person around and you don't stop quick enough when they say they want to get out so you get charged with kidnapping?

 

[palemale]

well actually... this is bullshit

no doesn't always mean no.
. . .
especially when you are seconds away from an orgasim!!!

Especially when you say "no" with his cock already up your ass!

 

[Nomenclature]

This would never ever fly as rape in any court of law and Rightfully so

Maybe not in Canada, but America's well known for having "anything goes" lawsuits. There are cases where someone was drunk, willingly went home with a guy and had completely consensual sex. . . but since she passed out drunk during the act, the man was charged with raped and made to register as a sex offender.

 

[RonR18]

I don't see how he forced himself on anyone as the sex seemed OK until the second guy was about to receive the same satisfaction as the first.

What's next, drving a person around and you don't stop quick enough when they say they want to get out so you get charged with kidnapping?

RE: "What's next, drving a person around and you don't stop quick enough when they say they want to get out so you get charged with kidnapping?"

This driving analogy is excellent. Slam on your brakes in heavy traffic the second someone says, "Stop," or else you're considered a kidnapper. Yank your cock out of your friend's asshole during heavy thrusting the second he says, "Stop," or else you're considered a rapist.

 

[NewStart]

I'm sorry but that sounds very ridiculous to me. I've asked my bf countless times to stay inside once he has come 'cause i was close - is that rape?

 

[bankside]

Asking someone to continue is very different from asking someone to stop.

My only point in my earlier posts was that sometimes there are different reasons for asking someone to stop, and sometimes it is urgent, sometimes not.

 

[TweetingforJesus]

I was having sex with my boyfriend and I was laying flat on my stomach. I wanted to stop so I said "let's stop" and I pushed myself up on my elbows so I could pull off him. He pushed me back down flat and said he was " not finished" and he was about to reach climax. Then he reached climax with in seconds of pushing me back down. My friends say because he didn't stop when I said "stop", that classifies as rape. My bf told me that he was seconds away from climax (which he was) and wanted to finish because I had reached climax earlier. Is this rape? I am very confused. Should I break up with him? report him? Any suggestions or comments would be greatly appreciated.

I wouldn't consider this to be rape at all, no.

Like it has been mentioned, this guy is your BF, it automatically clouds the issue because you're in a consenting sexual relationship.

But, of course, it was this specific incident that is key. I still say it wasn't rape as you appear to have been submissive to the situation, you didn't struggle? You didn't repeat your request? Your request was not clear to begin with.

Call it disrespectful if you feel disrespected and TALK to your bf about it, but don't risk overreacting.

RE: "What's next, drving a person around and you don't stop quick enough when they say they want to get out so you get charged with kidnapping?"

This driving analogy is excellent. Slam on your brakes in heavy traffic the second someone says, "Stop," or else you're considered a kidnapper. Yank your cock out of your friend's asshole during heavy thrusting the second he says, "Stop," or else you're considered a rapist.

Maybe not in Canada, but America's well known for having "anything goes" lawsuits. There are cases where someone was drunk, willingly went home with a guy and had completely consensual sex. . . but since she passed out drunk during the act, the man was charged with raped and made to register as a sex offender.

This is not Rape as it was concenting sex. A lot of people when they cum they lose all further desires in sexual play at that point in time. Now you had already cum but your bf did not. So then he was very close. The fact that you agreed to spread your legs for him makes this not rape. I would say that when you said stop after your feelings were satasfied then you just forget about his feelings. It is your duty as he is your partner to pleasure him and see he is comfortable and sexually fulfilled and likewise his duty to you, so when you said stop he should have been more polite to you instead of push you down. It is not rape but rude. But you and him have to make your sexual relationship work.

Do not accuse him of rape becuase it is not. If he just forces himself on you and you do not want sex periodly from the very beginning then that is Rape

1 Corinthians 7:4 (New International Version, ©2011)
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

in this case you gay hes gay it applies the same. The law of love to care for eachothers needs must be put first.

 

[Twistedup]

Note to self:

Do not date FiguringStuffOut.


This thread has to be a troll on us all. I am reminded of that episode of boondocks with R. Kelly, where the girl keeps saying, "well if he tried to piss on me, i'd have moved out of the way. she didn't move."

If there was any question about this being rape, the OP would have simply rolled over, or screamed, or grabbed old boy's junk, or punched him, or initiated anal deathgrip status.

i know this is a no flame zone, but the OP wasn't raped. he just needed attention because mr. BF hurt his feelings. (i love how that abbreviation has 2 meanings!)

rape is a big fat serious charge. it can ruin this man's life. it can cost his job and future jobs, his family, his house...it is a MAJOR ACCUSATION. someone said to do the guy a favor and break up with him. i agree. you are a direct threat to this his livelihood. if you love the guy you would not flirt with the idea of putting him so precariously close to ruin unless you knew 100% that you were doing the right thing, which you do not know or you would not be asking.

that you would even consider turning the man in for rape...is a major slap in the face to actual rape victims as well as a big red flag reminding me to look at my initial note to self.