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Please please!!! Help me!!!

S

SomeBoyyy

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I'll try to make this short, so I've been chatting with this guy online for just a day and we both agreed on meeting up tomorrow. I'm excited but also worried/concerned as I'm only 18 years old and the guy I'm meeting up with is 26, the age difference are only 1 of my minor concerns. What I'm really worried is that I think all he wants to do is just to have sex with me and go, I don't want to be used like this and I don't want to lose my vriginity this way, I might be abit paranoided or over-exaggerating to say this but It seems to me that he's gonna use some drug on me to make me feel all horny and stuff and then have sex with me. Anyhow I still want to meet up with this guy, but try to avoid the sex part as I'm not ready for that yet. Any advice on how I should behave on the first date, or what I can do to avoid all the sex and awkward moments would be deeply appreciated.

Thank you!!
 
Welcome to JUB! :wave:

Well, you've known the guy for a whole 24 hours, and all of that was online. So the chances that you know what he's really all about are slim to none. In other words, you're right to be somewhat concerned.

What do you do? You set some firm conditions for your first "date". You meet in a public place - not at your place, not at his place. A coffee shop is fine, or a cheap restaurant. You spend an hour or so being in his personal presence, talking to him, deciding how you feel being with him. Make it clear that you want to find out how you "mesh" first. Then, after that hour or so, go home. Jerk off if you want. But think about whether you felt relaxed and comfortable being with him.

If he tries to nudge you into meeting at his place first, resist. Consider that a major red flag.

If he spends most of the date at the coffee shop suggesting you leave the coffee shop and "hit the sheets", resist. Consider that a major red flag.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to get straight to the sex. But you don't want to do that. And he either needs to accept that, or skip over you and get to somebody who DOES want to get straight to the sex. If he keeps pushing you in the direction, suggest that he find somebody else. Pay for your coffee (and his), thank him for his time, and leave.

Lex
 
Thank you!! and Thank you soo much for the advices Lex!!

We're actually going to meet up at a shopping mall but it'll be pretty late and some shops will be closed or closing haha I guess I'll just go dinner with him and see how it goes from there. Theres also another problem that I'm very concerned about is that I might get kidnapped by him if he offers me a lift haha I sounded sooo paranoid and exggerating but I really am freaking out ](*,)
 
Just arrange for your own transportation. Take a car, take a cab, take your bike, take the bus. If he offers you a ride, decline. Say "That's OK - I like biking/taking the bus" or "That's OK - I have to make a couple stops on the way home. Thanks for the offer, though."

Lex
 
I might be abit paranoided or over-exaggerating to say this but It seems to me that he's gonna use some drug on me to make me feel all horny and stuff and then have sex with me.
Click to expand...

There is no such thing.

But I think that if you are this suspicious you should do two things.

1. Don't meet up with this guy period.

2. Stop chatting up guys on the interwebz and get out there and invest the effort and energy in meeting people in real life.
 
what lex said. ill add that it would be nice of you to tell him in advance that youre not interested in having sex on the first date, if you are this sure about that. its quite common in the gay online scene to just hook up, and id be a little disappointed if i met some guy who wouldnt put out, even if the chemistry is right. not a must, but it might save you and him some time.
 
rareboy said:
There is no such thing.

But I think that if you are this suspicious you should do two things.

1. Don't meet up with this guy period.

2. Stop chatting up guys on the interwebz and get out there and invest the effort and energy in meeting people in real life.
Click to expand...


Hmm I'm still thinking about meeting up with him, like Lex said I can meet up with him at some public places and play it safe. Theres a drug called "Aphrodisiac" I think thats how you spell it it increases people's sexual desire and stuff :help:
haha hope he has none of that stuff. Anyways thank you soo much for giving me advices, really appreciated it :kiss:(*8*):kiss:(*8*)
 
x-cess said:
what lex said. ill add that it would be nice of you to tell him in advance that youre not interested in having sex on the first date, if you are this sure about that. its quite common in the gay online scene to just hook up, and id be a little disappointed if i met some guy who wouldnt put out, even if the chemistry is right. not a must, but it might save you and him some time.
Click to expand...

First of all thank you for giving me advices (*8*). I did told him that I'm not ready for sex yet and he still seems intrested in meeting up. I'll play it safe. Thanks again!!(*8*)
 
Welcome. It seems that any benefits of meeting this guy are outweighed by your concerns. I recommend that you cancel. Good luck to you.
 
soreknees said:
Welcome. It seems that any benefits of meeting this guy are outweighed by your concerns. I recommend that you cancel. Good luck to you.
Click to expand...

Thank you!!
It seems that any benefits of meeting this guy are outweighed by your concerns.
Click to expand...
I guess soo but I would like to meet him, making a new friend won't hurt right?;) I still have time to decline his offer on meeting up, so I'll leave it till sometime tomorrow and see how it goes. Once again thank you !!(*8*)
 
G-Lexington said:
Welcome to JUB! :wave:

Well, you've known the guy for a whole 24 hours, and all of that was online. So the chances that you know what he's really all about are slim to none. In other words, you're right to be somewhat concerned.

What do you do? You set some firm conditions for your first "date". You meet in a public place - not at your place, not at his place. A coffee shop is fine, or a cheap restaurant. You spend an hour or so being in his personal presence, talking to him, deciding how you feel being with him. Make it clear that you want to find out how you "mesh" first. Then, after that hour or so, go home. Jerk off if you want. But think about whether you felt relaxed and comfortable being with him.

If he tries to nudge you into meeting at his place first, resist. Consider that a major red flag.

If he spends most of the date at the coffee shop suggesting you leave the coffee shop and "hit the sheets", resist. Consider that a major red flag.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to get straight to the sex. But you don't want to do that. And he either needs to accept that, or skip over you and get to somebody who DOES want to get straight to the sex. If he keeps pushing you in the direction, suggest that he find somebody else. Pay for your coffee (and his), thank him for his time, and leave.

Lex
Click to expand...
^^^^^^^

Well said Lex, I will add that you should also let someone you know where you are and you can even go as far as having them call you while your at meeting and tell them all is good. That way the other guy now knows that people know where you are. Just a simple hi and yeh "I'm at lunch at xxxx and I will call you later..." Make sure you point out that you just want to meet and greet and see how things go make it crystal clear. He will wait or he will move on knowing he wont get any ass today. If it does not feel right excuse your self and say thanks for your time. It's not like your going to see thge guy again if you want to leave. Be safe and relaxed but keep your guard up..
 
racer2438 said:
^^^^^^^

Well said Lex, I will add that you should also let someone you know where you are and you can even go as far as having them call you while your at meeting and tell them all is good. That way the other guy now knows that people know where you are. Just a simple hi and yeh "I'm at lunch at xxxx and I will call you later..." Make sure you point out that you just want to meet and greet and see how things go make it crystal clear. He will wait or he will move on knowing he wont get any ass today. If it does not feel right excuse your self and say thanks for your time. It's not like your going to see thge guy again if you want to leave. Be safe and relaxed but keep your guard up..
Click to expand...

Another great advice!! I'm loving this place more and more haha and you guys are soo amazing thank you all for the great advices guys!! Really really deeeplyyyyy appreciated it. Wish me good luck!! (*8*)(*8*)(*8*):kiss::kiss::kiss:
 
If we never hear back from you we will KNOW what happened!

OMG
 
why do you want to meet with someone who only wants to do something that you don't want to do?

I don't believe your problem is the age difference ..
 
Someboyyy said:
What I'm really worried is that I think all he wants to do is just to have sex with me and go, I don't want to be used like this and I don't want to lose my vriginity this way,
Click to expand...

Given your reservations, perhaps you need to slow this down and meet other guys your own age and with whom you would be more comfortable being friends... and perhaps more.
 
Hopefully you've decided not to meet up with a guy you are so paranoid about.
 
i think meeting some guys and seeing that its not such a big deal can be a good way to get rid of your (frankly ridiculous) paranoia. as long as you stay safe and dont do anything stupid.

to me, it sounds more like a case of "i wanna meet this guy but im really nervous about it" rather than "i have a bad feeling about this guy but im gonna meet him anyway because im so desperate." but if its the latter, then of course you should decline.
 
So i met him earlier and he turns out to be nice and genuine and we nearly hooked up hahahaha lol well not really i gave him head and he gave me head. But anyways i don't think he's my type so i called the relationship to an end. Well at least i returned to home safe hahahahha!!! thanks guys for all the advices!! (*8*):kiss:
 
im glad you had a good time!

but just as an aside, if you guys had oral sex, then you did hook up. and what you had was not a relationship, but a one night stand. (and yeah, youre not a virgin anymore.) not that there is anything wrong with any of that... im just saying.
 
so i called the relationship to an end.
Click to expand...

Just as well.

I'm sure in time you'll forget him and manage to move on.
 
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