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please translate

DepravedMuscleFTL

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so I am driving to work tonight and I encounter a panhandler - which have significantly increased since the pandemic -

this one - like most - has his little carboard sign - to encourage generosity - however... it reads:

my gay dog ate my wallet
he thought it was a bone


wtf? could someone translate???

I doubt this is noteworthy - but just in case - I will mention that it was a male - I would guess early 30's - black - a little scruffy but not enough that I would presume him homeless but he could be - street wise - he knew how to work the traffic...

I intentionally carry singles with me to give to panhandles - the sign caught me off guard and I didn't know how to respond so I didn't lower my tinted windows and hand out the buck....
 
Either he was trying to get your attention and hoped people would reward his ingenuity, or he was mentally out of it. Just my guess.
 
I think he was just trying to be funny.
 
I interpret it as: Some Grindr hookup was supposed to suck my dick for cash...instead he just spent my money. So now I’m broke & my dick is dry.
 
So in that case what would it be appropriate to offer him?
 
. . . .

my gay dog ate my wallet
he thought it was a bone


wtf? could someone translate???

. . . .



Ok, first, the wallet metaphor is obviously a reference to his uncut dick.

Then, like so many JUBbers, he'd like to believe that everyone and everything is gay - or can be persuaded to go in that direction - including his pooch.

He's been in lockdown/isolation way too long, and now he needs money to buy more peanut butter.
 
9780743270779_l.jpg
 
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