POETRY - Can you write a Poem?

[freefall]

@Lefty: Uhmm...so is that empowering or depressing ?

@Don: I put my explanation in the spoiler tag should you want to try guessing the atmosphere without me spoiling the fun prematurely

Spoiler

The poem is inspired from a classical piano work with the same title (but in French---La Puerta del Vino---you can search it in YouTube). When I hear the piece, I immediately imagine a huge festival in the night where everyone starts dancing exotically around the bonfire while the others feast, talk, and have fun (you can insert sexing here---of which I have the idea too, in the second last verse). I try to describe the scene as well as the emotional atmosphere here.

Btw, sorry if the poem fails, since I haven't visited any Spanish countries

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Oh what a mess we do receive
When we lack the skill to weave








It came to me when I was taking a shit this morning

.

 

[Lefty]

Freefall

I guess you don't know me well yet. Sometimes I miss things and don't remark.

Sometimes something pisses me off and I put my foot in it. If I just don't like or

if I think (think??) something is lousy or I can't appreciate it....I keep my comments

to myself....Reread my poorly written positive comment man.

Tzu

It is not my goal to deceive
That just sucked I believe
Next time you take a shit
And before its time to quit
Try to get back your brain
before you flush it down the drain

I suggest..when next time that you sit
you would do better if you just shit



Hi Archie...go bite daddy now.

 

[DonQuixote]

FreeFall,
Like Lefty, let me rephrase - your poem does work.

I was tired and flying low last night, so my rattled brain was having a hard time wrapping itself completely around your verse, but it was energetic and frenetic, passionate.

BTW, guess what movie my daughter wound up putting in last night -
Dirty Dancing/Havana nights!

Tzu,
Methinks Lefty might be right - your normal rapier like wit was a bit "less".
It likely was just poor timing on your part, but it appeared to be aimed toward our new compatriot, and I know you didn't mean that.
(Now, if you had pointed it at ME, well, THAT would be understandable.)
Now here's a hug. We forgive you.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

I wasn't really trying.
I'll do better next time.


I can’t say that I love Jesus
That would be a hollow claim.
He did make some observations though
And I’m quoting them today.

''Judge not lest ye be judged.'' What a beautiful refrain.
The studio audience disagrees with me
Have his lambs all gone astray?


''You are lost and disillusioned''
What an awful thing to say.
I know this show doesn’t flatter.
It means nothing to me.
I thought I might help them understand
But what an ugly thing to see.
''I am not an animal'', was subtitled under the screen.



When I tried to tell my story
They cut me off to take a break.
I sat silent -- 5 commercials
I had nothing left to say.
The talk show host was index-carded
All organized and blank
The other guests were scared and hardened



What a sad parade.

 

[Lefty]

I hate self advertising but davey is trying so hard to make my thread hit 1K.

So, if you want to say something and don't have a better place..or you just

want to say something... Way to go, Lefty ...is what it is called.

 

[DonQuixote]

Where is it located, O progenitor of perverse verse?
Links, my dear boy, Links!

Hi, Shih Tzu. Good to see you back. I was a bit of a bust last night - Mr. Sandman collected me around 7:30 and I was out like a light for the night.

 

[Lefty]

hells bells Don...I don't know links from fuck...except I'm no where

as good at links as I am with my link....


the thread was started by daddy badger and is in F(uck) and G(roan)

I think.

1930 eh...no wonder I finished an entire Stuart Wood and 1/3 of a James

Lee Burke last night.

 

[DonQuixote]

Hey, Lefty.
Sadly, I didn't know these authors, lol.
I had to look them up to see if they were literature or liquid libation a la local NoCal Winery fare.

I'll have to open the F&G forum page and give a gander.

 

[Lefty]

Don...I am shocked.....you the purveyor of the JUB Arts and Crafts...

not cognizant of two prolific and famous authors.....you probably never

heard of Patterson either.

That is borderline cretin and then too accuse me of being in the grips of a

grape .....Scandalous....you have placed our very relationship in to a most

perilous position and further association into jeopardy.

 

[DonQuixote]

I know of TWO Prolific Pattersons -
James and Richard North.

James has gotten too commercial, just crank it out anymore.
Let his co-authors do all the work.

Richard North writes a mean story - I really enjoy his.

We do a lot of
Nora Roberts/J D Robb (yeah, she started out with trashy romance, but her characters and their interactions are so real, believable, likable)
Jim Butcher
Diana Gabaldin
Iris Johannsen
Catherine Coulter
Tom Clancy
(All of us love Harry Potter series, too)
Tolkien once upon a time
Terry Pratchett

p.s. I''m in the middle of your thread over in F&G - reading Davey Dude's Olympic efforts at the 2K - he really put his all into it for you, lol.

I see you managed to (semi) dis me - lol. Sorry, when you gotta go to bed, you gotta go to bed. I know, it was more a lament of lack of people to play with than a dis.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

I can't believe you. You bend your words like Uri Geller's spoons. It's not quite safe here when every judgment seems to smack of doom.

Are you okay? I'm just fine.
You take Nancy. Tonight Loretta's mine.

A legal president could set it straight but no one's brought up suit, and I'm assuming if they did the point would still be moot.

Are you joking? Can't tell sometimes.
But you take Nancy, for me Loretta's fine.
No... I've changed my mind.
I'll take Nancy, you do Loretta this time.

 

[DonQuixote]

Shih Tzu
Is that you,
playing with contrary Mary?

What president is legal who could set this gay blade straight?
I know of no individual with powers thus.

Perhaps you mean some writ of law
based on something here to fore
that someone saw?

A precedent do you sir mean
to solve the battle o'er bitches mean?

Now Nancy I believe I know
but Loretta, her from my mind doth flow
l can only think of ol' Ms. Swit,
who did that M.A.S.H. bit?

While the other dame
plays at politics game
and has as her call to fame
more power than she should,
to all our shame.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Oh words here areth likened to a thong
They expose your ass when you get one wrong







that just came to me...divine intervention perhaps? lmao

 

[DonQuixote]

Oh words here areth likened to a thong
They expose your ass when you get one wrong

that just came to me...divine intervention perhaps? lmao

Can I have it? I think of several things it might come in handy for.

 

[Lefty]

The "Q" he made my hoary old heart bleed

While he slammed what I read.

And if onew reads for joy and fun

I'll takle either Patterson.

No love here for that brat Potter...

Rather do Welcome back Kotter
(mega barf either way)
I had no intent to really diss

nor do i want a make up kiss.

I miss the game plays with you

and even that guy Tzu...who..yeah Tzu.

when you two want to make a go

maybe you will just...let me know.

and if thats not in your book

I will forgive..you're off the hook.

 

[DonQuixote]

Lefty, my Lefty son of no Fool,
I enjoy it when with you we tool
the words of verse,
or other perverse.

For fun and frolick
makes no one sick

I've tried to find some merriment
before all my energies are spent.

'tis sad but true
that of late there's been less for you,
but you know my karma,
isn't watching Darma.

Just call me Ralph
of the Cramden Set
It's a lot more fun here,
On that you can Bet.

And If, perchance you like the color Blue
Would you chance cede
If we would plead
to join the fun
in Smurfdom?


Nighty nite,
my wordmeister friend.
Another night we will attend.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Who will dust today’s belongings?
And who will sweep the floors?
Do we settle for what we've got
Or go for something more?

And you know that it's the last ditch
But you're weakened by the sight of it
Dare I say...
We're locked into a pattern
Do we look up to the heavens?
I did once, you know
I hoped to see a spaceship
But it was something from my childhood
I was thinking -- I'm not frightened

So don't worry, we'll sharpen the stones
We've gotta have them to dig for gold
Plain to see
Or maybe it's me, but
We mold lots of dreams into goals

Still -- we need someone to talk to
And someone to sweep the floors

 

[DonQuixote]

Shih Tzu, my friendly, furry hound,
That poem was nigh on profound!

There is a sadness to be found
leaking from the stairs around
out to the ball field, e'en the mound.

If you build it they will come,
But when the game's over,
what then, chum?

I hear the melancholy strum,
and the lament of the soulful drum.
The call to all, this saddened hum
of the joys deceased, the loss of fun

For what is left when unity breaks,
and from the one, naught is left 'cept mistakes.

But, mankind is a "funny" kind,
and works to turn the shite from lime
and with the Alchemist's blind
hopes with glee, Gold to find.

For, our spirit is a soaring type,
and will generate whatever hype
it needs to give it loft to wing
and make, once again, its heart to sing.

Hark, the true treasure can be found,
with a simple look to ground,
for not in metals precious, see,
but the fruit of your loins are your glee.

for in THEIR eyes and merriment,
are the priceless jewels that Heaven sent.
And when you've finished work for the day,
with tired satisfaction can you say,
I've earned shelter and meal for YOU this day,
What priceless treasures o' mine, come what may.

Now, come and lay your heads to my breast,
that we may sleep, we may rest,
at peace with the world as best can we,
for All I have, I give to thee.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Damn Donny, you have certainly come into your own as a master wordsmith. You make me proud young man. Thank you.





Oh and so you don't hear it on the street and think me to be a slut, I've started a new thread for ghost stories. I have some scary tales to share. TRUE STORIES! ooooooo