POETRY - Can you write a Poem?

[Quality Street]

Yeah man I'm good, you good?

Btw, edited a tad. There were a couple of really clumsy lines.

 

[DonQuixote]

Quality,
You've jumped to the head of my line,
I've a backlog you see,
That has been calling to me,
But our PM's have served you in time,
And maybe jump started my responses
to all these poets fine,
who pine for feedback from readers, a responsibility
that I feel I must do, in person, from me.

Your lyric is dark,
straight-forward, dread,
A bit of Poe's Raven flying overhead.

The scene is one that is full of awe,
That grabs the gut in its trap of a maw.
Tragedy strikes, is what we hear in its caw.

And what of the youth, the boy, now a stray?
when his mother's in the grave
and his Father's put away?

Where does He stay,
How does He find his way?
Does He know how to pray,
or have a place His head to lay?

And there's still one thing
causing an even greater funk,
With the homelife he's had,
his father a drunk,
Will he break the chain of nature and nurture,
and be able to have a life full of love,
and a Normal future?

Your poem is powerful.
Thank you for sharing your talents with us.
I look forward to reading your story of discovery.

Welcome, Quality Street.
I've been here but not HERE as of late,
my brains been a bit befuddled, and I haven't been able to provide
the level of feedback I try to provide.

Thank you for jumpstarting me to respond.
(Now to play catch up, I'm soooo behind.)

 

[Quality Street]

Donkey. That is awesome Lots of thought-provoking questions about it too... You seem to be a man of many talents!

Gold sticker or you.

 

[Lefty]

Okay peoples, Everybody send Don the "CUE" a p/m telling

him how happy you are to see he has finally come to his senses

and is back here he is supposed to be....



OH MY GOD....Don-Key........I fucking LOVE it.

Quals just hit a home run.

 

[DonQuixote]

Yeah, I didn't mention that to him in our PM's.
I knew somebody out in LEFT field would have a field day with it.

Be kind, LeftyCuss, be kind.
No, Sancho ain't riding me, and neither are you.

On THAT note, I bid thee adieu.
Quality Street may be walking the cobblestones in the wee hours, down Z and Auto's way,
but this working stiff must hit the hay.
My future posts must wait for another day.

 

[wenchine-mahtapasikan]

Aww *Group hug*

Lefty, I hope you're reading you're damn forum comments.

Don-ni-un-kiki, what a noble undertaking you have chosen. Fitting of your sn.

QS, if that was a response to me: yes I'm good... as good as you can get if you're me lol. I have the same feeling about my poems, you always notice that shit after you post it.

 

[wenchine-mahtapasikan]

Oh, sorry Lefty, I mean Quals!

 

[wenchine-mahtapasikan]

I get Left: A Surreal Stream for... obvious

Glossed eyes at the cross

On a map

Could be radiocarbon dated

Trot up, down this one horse town

One way streets the same

Well, just change the name

Whoops! Back where we started

Though the sights seem strange

Road signs don't change:

"Something connu crossing" "Don't merge without watching" "Bump first on y'all's speed" "To pass Left indeed"

How many damn times have I been here before

Par en route for reves of mort?

"Again with the pleasantries" "Don't let them get the worst of me." "I'm almost like a relative" "Can a brother, son get a relative pronoun"

Glazing at the cross

I'm at a loss

For words and what not

Guess I've got

No choice but to turn and get...

LEFT.

 

[freefall]

Damn...the poems are all out when I'm gone --' but gobbling it out already

Quality, your work is really morbid, painful, and graphic, as if it really described a train reaction of family abuse that were an actual story. I was worried at first before I read your comment about the poem...still I hope you're not burying it all inside

Wen, your mismatch is...wow...different. You're like telling about a girl who no one knows despite her existence around and her sufferings which everyone inflicts on her. I grab a glimpse of anti-bullying in it (sorry if it's wrong...)

And Qui! You're back! YOU'RE BACK!
He's back from the cold grave
Of the somber, longs the crave
Did he manage to defeat the day
On the thin texts will he spray

 

[Lefty]

^

nice you made it through exams.

 

[DonQuixote]

I am trying to fight my way back in.
"tis a busy time, and I feel such remorse
having not stayed the course
of the rhyme and this time.

 

[freefall]

Carnival of The Moon

Free…flee…
Mystically enchant the daunted tents
(Fall, beams, fall, fall, beams, fall)
Tide…tied…
To wooden stakes piercing the cold soil
In the dark lit by a candle-like spark
(Fall, beams, fall, fall, beams, fall)
Wave…wail…

Break…

Clowns
Jugglers
Acrobats
Wild animals
Trapeze (la la la)
Trampoulines (da da da)
Cannons (la la la)
Magicians (da da da)
Festivals (la la la)
Fanfares (da da da)

Auras are mysterious yet enticing
Upon the blights of the night sorceress
In the eyes of the attracted passengers
Embarked not the harbours of covert
Behind the fake masks of hypocrisy

I can see and read your body language
That here things are not what they seem to be
Inverted by false premises to deceive

La la la da da da
La la la da da da
La la la da da da
La la la da da da

Hasting slow-motion movements
To harness expected results no matter what
In dusty arenas of colourful grief
Where what is seen might be an illusion
If you are sharp enough to suspect and detect

Laugh, erase your tears
Use some dye to hide those creases
So they think you are always happy
The atmosphere will then help you

Free…fly…
From the claws too weak to grasp
(Fall, beams, fall, fall, beams, fall)
Mail…may…
After the show, the make-ups fade
Revealing ugly truth in a reason of light

Creak…

An apple’s core can only be seen
After worms have devoured all the flesh

La…
Da…

Keep being agile
Do not lose control
Stand on balance
Convert, not converse

Enjoy the carnival of the moon
And run now while you still can

 

[DonQuixote]

re: Post # 554 ghibli:
No Reason

Now THAT's what I call short, sweet, and to the point.

Does it work well as a pick-up line?

---

#555 freefall:
Carnival of the Moon

You do provide the most
Esoteric of Verse.

Confuses the Hell out of me, lol.

Perchance the underlying DARK that seeps through your "Carnival" is what makes the lycanthropes howl,
cheek to jowl?

You do build a haunting
landscape within the
Carnival de la Macabre
as would be expected
under the Moon.

My head is still reeling, trying to fully comprehend this trip down into the depths of darkness.

 

[DonQuixote]

I'm not THAT easy.
You'll have to try a little harder.

 

[Quality Street]

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Quixote chased Windmills,
But I'm chasing you.

 

[DonQuixote]

Quality Street,
A little treat?
Are you being sweet,
and fleet on your feet?

ghibli,
You want me?
Mayhaps we should make it three?
QS wants to play to, can't you see?

Oh. glory be,
they's fighting over me.
Writing me poetic rhyme
Cause with me they want to do "time".
This could get . . . sublime

BTW, Don't you worry about my ticker.
It's like a Timex Watch - takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

 

[wenchine-mahtapasikan]

Because saying what's really on your mind is a lot easier when nobody can understand your crazy ass mind or what's on it:

Oh wait, before I begin:

To the muse of this poem. Thanks for your museness. There are not hard feelings against you, especially you DQ #1.3e8956.

Just hard feelings about you, that will hopefully fade as I clearly can.

Leather and Lace: A Reinvention for Drill Question #1.3e8956

Most JUBber lovers stay by leather
With any grace, I'll die by lace
From fool to integrate to accommodate the taste of valued face of leather
Better weather "whether"'s than further measures to be ever tethered as lace
I frayed soles bind of mindful mind redesigned resigned
And the heed of hedonst's hide haughty signs declined
For tired gyre centred leather's hold lace to mistake embrace
Ha! Old desire turned fire from frication of leather weathered should suffice
To see it'd be twice as nice to from coats, jackets, and form-unfit pants my lace reprise
...
And roll my dice with solitude, solace of ice.

Damn, I wish I coulda thrown some funk up in that shit, but my references didn't leave much room... damn. I give up, I will never finish with this poems until I let its muse finish with me.

 

[freefall]

#555 freefall:
Carnival of the Moon

Perchance the underlying DARK that seeps through your "Carnival" is what makes the lycanthropes howl,
cheek to jowl?

Lol, just exactly what my pals thought
The moon seems to have brought
The southern aura of the lycans
Not the eerieness or the shamans
The flower 'Don Quixote' have bloomed brightly
Under falling beams of the pale moon
Where drunken delirium strikes mightily
And gnaws each parts before high noon


Maybe a protips for my poems: I mostly use the words as metaphors---so you only have to imagine the most appropriately resembling situation/description which matches the image.

 

[freefall]

Leitmotif

I weave love parasites
In our crystal bed
Prominent feelings
Repeated until dizzy
The bold patterns
Mend the clocks
Everlastingly
Elongated our stress
They have broken
The twinkles of dot
You may not jump into
Murderous devilish razors
Inside my veins
Poisoned blood clots
You dip the brush to
Baptist the virgin
My womb aborts
Baptist the virgin
You dip the brush to
Poisoned blood clots
Inside my veins
Murderous devilish razors
You may not jump into
The twinkles of dot
They have broken
Elongated our stress
Everlastingly
Mend the clocks
The bold patterns
Repeated until dizzy
Prominent feelings
In our crystal bed
I weave love parasites

Defy, magnify
If you went impaired
We will have to bear new bulbs

 

[DonQuixote]

Wenchine,
You and Freefall are having entirely too much fun fucking with this tired old mind, lol.

I think you just wanted to get every semi-convoluted rhyming word you could integrated into your perverse verse.

So, you like lace, eh?