Political Affiliations in Relationships

[BlondeCanadian]

So I just met someone online and we have been talking. It isn't like this really matters right now because we have no relationship but it brought some questions to my mind.

How do you cope with having drastically different political views than your partner, especially if you are both active and involved in politics.

for instance this guy actually goes to my school and is a grad student in political science. I am a second year undergrad student taking a double major in labour studies and politics. I am from a very pro union home and am very active in the union.

He is a libertarian conservative and I am a democratic socialist. He is studying to become a professor, I am working to either become a labour lawyer or work for the union that my family has ties with.

So pretty much as polar opposites as can be.

so my question is how would you all deal with this? I dont mind having a good argument and I will concede on points but to be honest right wing policies seem to me to either be the conservatives who are stupid enough to put their religious beliefs and ideas over their own wellbeing or the rich who protect their own interests. So while I try to keep an open mind that is how I feel.

 

[MoltenRock III]

Anyone who's hung out in CE&P for more than 5 minutes knows just how insane the wingnuts can be. I wouldn't date a wingnut for all the money in the world.

Nearly if not always, the conservative wingnuts are semi-closeted anyway, and who needs that in a relationship?

 

[NineOfClubs]

I have friends of every political stripe.

And of every religious belief, even though I'm an atheist.

I think grown ups learn to work through these things--like a client I once had who was an Indian hindu married to a Pakistani muslim.

Just like a lot of carnivores who are involved with vegetarians.

 

[thermodynamics]

It certainly makes things lively!

I'd focus on the things you can agree on. Then go from there.

 

[tipmyscales86]

A true Libertarian is usually more liberal on social issues.

 

[LoveIsNow]

I don't know if I can help you in dealing with it, since politics is a deal breaker for me. (I'm a socialist, and I couldn't date anyone who is a conservative or really a "moderate", I just don't think they're very moral people).

I think everybody has the right to two or three deal breakers without actually being unreasonably picky. I think you need to think about whether differing politics is something you could deal with or whether it's just too much. Or maybe you would never be able to marry someone like that, but it would be okay if you kept it strictly causal (if you can manage to do that).

Hopefully my rambling was vaguely helpful.

 

[palemale]

Just make sure you top him. And when you're fucking him tell him it's time for the workers to fuck the capitalists, rather than the other way around.

P.S. My avatar is Mother Jones.

 

[BlondeCanadian]

I was just thinking that maybe differing views isnt exactly a negative. for example i think it might be preferable that someone is passionate about politics than someone who is completely indifferent to it.. it might be more in common than a problem....

also I am canadian so even the conservatives are no where near as disgusting as your republicans.. and actually some of your democrats lol

 

[BJS501]

libertarian conservative

....

No comment.

 

[youngnihilist]

I'm one of those conservative gays you all dislike, and I'll tell you I'll date anyone even a left wingnut. Even someone who is a socialist and anti Israel. Because politics isn't everything. See, I'm more tolerant than the liberals

 

[aijalon18]

It's not about being intolerant.

Where you stand political is a good reflection of where u stand morally. And for me it would be impossible to be with someone who morally opposite from me.

 

[youngnihilist]

Whatever, you all take things too seriously. Believe me, I'm passionate about my causes. But just because someone supports raising my taxes, forcing me to buy healthcare, giving lenient punishment to murderers and pedophiles, and sympathizing with Islamic extremists over western democracies does not mean I can't date or like the guy.

Politics is nothing in the end if we have great chemistry otherwise. I do not talk politics with most of my close friends (most of whom happen to have opposite views from me). there is so much more in life than politics. Do you think most people give two shits about politics, as you know more than half of people don't vote.

I mean, all you lonely guys who are looking for the one and you meet him and he's a Republicam, but he's 100% your type in every other way, really, you're gonna turn that down out of so called morality and your perceived notions of reality

 

[Seasoned]

Let's try to keep our blood pressure down considering where this thread is located. Mine rises quite easily when I wander to CE&P so I know how easy it is to be indignant. Personally, I'd have a gard time being in a relationship with someone who was my opposite on the political scale.

We've dealt with theoretical. Getting back to the OP, does anyone have real experience as to how this could work?

 

[palemale]

I was involved in a potential strike situation once where the husband was management and the wife was a member of the union. The husband said his wife told him if there was a strike she would be on the picket line and there would be no sex until the strike was over and the contract settled. That's a more difficult situation than political differences. A woman after my own heart.

 

[altlover85]

A person's political affiliation is partly a reflection of their personality and how they view society and its structure. So their political views are part of who they are as a person. This should definitely be taken into account when considering a relationship with someone. Do you want to be constantly arguing with them over politics?

I think the bolded part is really where the issue is. It depends on the two people and how important politics is to them.

My ex was more fiscally conservative than I was and it wasn't the end of the world.

My current bf is closer to where I am, even though we've had disagreements in the past about how quickly Obama was moving on his policies. He's gotten me to soften a bit on other things, so overall, it works well.

I know one couple that's been together for over 10 years and one is Republican and one is Democrat. I don't think that politics was a topic that they talked about much with one another, but I don't really know for sure because they are my bf's friends more than they are mine.

 

[TX-Beau]

I was involved in a potential strike situation once where the husband was management and the wife was a member of the union. The husband said his wife told him if there was a strike she would be on the picket line and there would be no sex until the strike was over and the contract settled. That's a more difficult situation than political differences. A woman after my own heart.

When I was freshly out and young and perpetually erect, I “dated” this guy who was a gay republican. Careful with that, he wasn’t a gay republican as in a “Log Cabin,” type find-a-justification-for-it kind of Republican - he was a Republican who happened to like dick. Needless to say he was mostly closeted and called himself bisexual (I don’t want to hear it bi guys, the only thing bi about this guy involved cheap stock.) By the way, I put the “dated” in quotations because we were just buds of course – anything else was no one’s business.

So being young and hormone driven and really not all that politically aware myself, the shit he used to tell me sounded really smart (yeah I know, but I was a kid and horny and was really just in it for the ass.) You all know what I mean by that, all that capitalism is god and jingoism, the lazy parasites with their welfare Cadillacs, and the liberal faggots trying to turn us commie. (HE REALLY DID refer to the left as liberal faggots – despite the fact that the boy could ride a cock like the sluttiest pro in the whorehouse)

I suppose he got some kind of kick out of lecturing me, he was a few years older than me and he liked to do that kind of thing. Since I really didn't have my own politics worked out that thoroughly, I didn't say much, which I guess he might have taken as agreement.

So anyway, things are rolling along, I’ve been seeing him for maybe six months, still dealing with my own coming out issues, and not really paying much attention to the whole politics thing, until the election of ‘96.

Which is when he went bonkers. The boy lost it. Clinton got elected and he immediately went out and bought a gun. Because of course you had to get one fast, before the new world order came to take it away from you. I suppose you just weren’t a patriot unless you had a gun for the new world order to pry from your cold dead fingers.

After listening to him rant for a month (and I do mean consistently rant, all the damn time,) I had to walk; no amount of ass was worth putting up with that.

Of course in retrospect I realize that a lot of his arch conservatism was caught up in his own self loathing issues, he probably wouldn’t have been so fanatically cliche, if he wasn’t so worried he’d be perceived as an effeminate faggot.

But in the end, we all have our reasons for choosing the political positions we take, and sometimes it is a deal killer. I could date a consistent conservative, who could intelligently disagree, there’s no way in hell I’d date another practicing rabid Neo-Con. Gay or straight, those boys just blow.

 

[FrEaKyFrEaK]

It's probably not going to be a huge deal. Since he's essentially a dem on social issues, you probably won't have much to argue about. 80% of political debates are about social issues, and if you guys are right for each other in many other ways, I simply can't believe that your differing opinions on fiscal policy can tear your relationship apart--unless you let that argument happen all the goddam time, in which case, yeah, it can tear your relationship apart.

 

[jstud]

I wouldn't see what the big deal is about dating someone who might be a little more conservative. As a matter of fact, I am not sure I could date someone who was a bleeding hearts liberal. I wouldn't like to date someone who thought we should pay all of our money into welfare for example... but it would depend also on how far they took their thoughts.

 

[mbamike]

so my question is how would you all deal with this?

RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit!

 

[jstud]

RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit!

I think its ridiculous for people to not want to date someone because they are conservative. There are plenty of men out there who I really want to fuck who are Republican, conservative etc etc (I live in Alabama so I don't have much choice). There is one guy I am crushing on right now who is that way inclined. I don't think its going to go anywhere but he seems like a bit of a sex freak so who knows.

My current boyfriend is has some conservative views and some liberal. One of his liberal ideas is that gay people are born that way which is something I actually disagree with. I don't think people are born anyway. I mean there may be some kind of genetic precursor to homosexuality but I don't think its as simple as saying someone is "born gay" and I stand by this argument firmly. I'm not going to dump him for his view even though I think its stupid. I don't really believe in God, or at least the Biblical version of God, and he wholeheartedly does, but I am still going to date him.

I am a little more open about sexuality than he is, at least in the way I don't think people should be tied down to one person their whole life. I mean, you can be in a relationship and you should try to respect the relationship as much as you can, but if you fuck someone else I don't think that should end a committed relationship. A lot of people think differently though. He seems pretty big on the monogamy thing and Ive been pretty good thus far. But I still am open minded to sex, more than he is.

I think if you love someone then most things shouldn't END the relationship. I guess I must be pretty laid back about most things, although a lot of people think I'm actually really uptight lol.