Polyamory

[Aguy666]

What do y'all think of polyamory? By that I mean having multiple relationships (with everyone being fully knowledgeable and taking part in these relationships, no secrets), not just sleeping around

It seems like an interesting way to live life for me- especially since I'm gay, you don't have the situation where it's impossible for the other person you're with to never be attracted to them, since all the people would be male for me.

 

[getgoing2]

I would be so down for a polyamorous relationship, the best situation i could imagine would be to find like the best bf and then have other relationships come and go but stay with that one person the whole time. If we played together and apart but were like totally open about it, that would be the greatest thing ever.

 

[maxpowr9]

IMO, "polyamory" is just a feel-goodery psych term that people throw around. Sure it is nice in theory but ultimately it fails. The problem is, humans are naturally jealous and if you spend more time with one partner instead of another, the resentment will grow. Have you ever heard of the term "third wheel"? I am not saying it is impossible for it work but most likely it won't.

 

[bankside]

IMO, "polyamory" is just a feel-goodery psych term that people throw around. Sure it is nice in theory but ultimately it fails. The problem is, humans are naturally jealous and if you spend more time with one partner instead of another, the resentment will grow. Have you ever heard of the term "third wheel"? I am not saying it is impossible for it work but most likely it won't.

It is too soon to say anything conclusive, but it appears that people may be following different genetically-influenced strategies that shape how they feel about monogamy vs. promiscuity. I'm not sure it is a "nice theory" for everyone. For some people, it could represent the ultimate happiness.

 

[NineOfClubs]

I would be so down for a polyamorous relationship, the best situation i could imagine would be to find like the best bf and then have other relationships come and go but stay with that one person the whole time. If we played together and apart but were like totally open about it, that would be the greatest thing ever.

You've described the life I've lived the last 11 years.

I know polyamory isn't for everyone, but I find it works well for me.

Unlike you, I'd have no objection to a third guy who didn't just "come and go" but decided to stay for a long time.

 

[MentalFirewall]

Well, if some people can handle that, more power to them, I wish them the best of luck, but I probably couldn't.
I know myself, and I'd end up loving one more than the other. Then, the other would take notice that I was favoring the one, and he'd be pissed off, and we'd have a fight, then break-up, and then I'd be in a relationship with only one man again. It's not that I oppose that kind of relationship(s?), it's just that I think I, personally, wouldn't be able to make it work.

 

[Seasoned]

It seems a bit like turning one's home into a bath house, an ultimate fantasy come true for some. The only way that would have ever worked for me would have been if all the guys were friends to me rather than lovers. For deep intimacy I tend to pair off.

I'm in favor of a satisfied, smiling populace. Probably less road rage and crime that way. You don't hear about them so much now, but communes were common in the late 60s and 70s.

 

[NineOfClubs]

^ Oregon was famous for its communes.

And many who live here were raised by hippies. ;-)

 

[theFallenGod]

I myself couldn't do it...

I love my boyfriend truly and dearly ...but just dealing with him sometimes can be a bit taxing at times... having to deal with the same issues with multiple people would be a bit overwhelming.

If others can do it... have at... I can't...