Porn seems so desperate

[MrPerfectMan]

I suppose this title of this thread is kinda click-baity, but hear me out. I'm gonna be 30 this year, and feel like I've been changing a lot. I'm tired of meaningless sex with some rando just because he's hot. I did have a couple heartbreaks this past year, and ever since then it's gotten harder and harder to go back to something more casual.

I watch porn and it just seems so desperate to me; both the actors, and me for watching it. I'm still attracted and aroused by men, but I'm tired of porn, and I'm not used to feeling like this. It feels very weird to me. I fell like a different person and I don't quite know who I am.

Is this natural to happen at this age? I do think so somewhat. I have gotten more aroused thinking about sex with someone I truly love more than someone I'm just hooking up with. Baring a bad breakup, I'm always a little put off by older guys who are looking for one piece of ass after another. Granted you gotta live and let live, but I by no means do not want to be that guy.

Thoughts?

 

[TX-Beau]

Thoughts? People are different, if you don't like where you are, do something different.

 

[agayguy]

Hi!
Sounds like you're maturing. You're seeing that there can be more to life than casual sex. Maybe you're ready to start thinking about a (semi)-long term relationship.
I have been with my partner since you were born. It is wonderful in many, many ways. I am thankful to God for that.
We have a "play date" scheduled for tomorrow with each other. I know from experience it's gonna be hot! He knows what I want, and gives it willingly and fantastically. I know how to please him as well. Making love to a long term partner can be wonderful!

 

[eastofeden]

Most porn has always bored me...at every age. Call me crazy...but I would rather have actual sex and I pretty much use my own experiences and the guys I have been with to masturbate to...much more exciting. One of the nice things about being an empath is I can go back to any moment in my life and experience it with all of my senses..smell... taste.. touch.... visual....like I am there....

..and my partner of going on 31 years now....we have amazing tantric sex now..more exciting than ever...and I am 58. I masturbate about him mostly..when I do it....and it is rare because I like saving it for us so I can cum harder....

I dunno about the love thing though. I am uncomfortable with the term making love and the expectations that go along with it so I don't subject myself to any of that. I do unconditionally love my man and vice versa...but I had some great times with some fucking hot men when I was single too....and we both agree that it adds to our sex life because experience and letting go of hangups clears a better path...

I think it is wise to embrace all the parts of yourself so you have inner peace instead of conflict....so if you were a slut....celebrate it for what it was....then you can let it go and move on. Resistance will distort it...

Bottom line for me....for porn to be exciting..I need vibe..not looks....

 

[Seasoned]

I think you may be depressed. Anyway, it's worth checking it out with a healthcare professional. There's some scapegoating going on in your original post. Porn, in and of itself, isn't desperate. It seems you're feeling desperate viewing it at your age. I think this is about trying to cope with a milestone birthday and not having met some of the conscious or unconscious benchmarks you set for yourself.

 

[kallipolis]

Baring a bad breakup, I'm always a little put off by older guys who are looking for one piece of ass after another. Granted you gotta live and let live, but I by no means do not want to be that guy.

Thoughts?

A man asked his bathroom mirror image, why he was so frustrated, and depressed with his life.

The mirror reflection replied: stop focusing entirely on yourself that another, or others may become your loving focus.

 

[kallipolis]

Enlightened travellers don't know where they're going...

...they just go, not to arrive....

....to thrive, on their journey of self discovery.

 

[PalacePaul]

IMO porn isn't desperate. Porn is what you want it to be. I watch quite a lot of porn because I can see the kind of kinky hot guys I can't find in real life, and I can fantasize about them.
Regarding age, I'm gonna be 33 next month and my sex drive clearly lowered after 30. It's a natural thing I guess. Now I prefer quality over quantity. I would say don't worry about it

 

[checkinthingsout]

I suppose this title of this thread is kinda click-baity, but hear me out. I'm gonna be 30 this year, and feel like I've been changing a lot. I'm tired of meaningless sex with some rando just because he's hot. I did have a couple heartbreaks this past year, and ever since then it's gotten harder and harder to go back to something more casual.

I watch porn and it just seems so desperate to me; both the actors, and me for watching it. I'm still attracted and aroused by men, but I'm tired of porn, and I'm not used to feeling like this. It feels very weird to me. I fell like a different person and I don't quite know who I am.

Is this natural to happen at this age? I do think so somewhat. I have gotten more aroused thinking about sex with someone I truly love more than someone I'm just hooking up with. Baring a bad breakup, I'm always a little put off by older guys who are looking for one piece of ass after another. Granted you gotta live and let live, but I by no means do not want to be that guy.

Thoughts?

I think you are growing up and maturing. Not sure it has a ton to do with a specific age, just a longing to find love and a connection with someone else. It can happen at any point in one's life.

Porn has very little to do with it.

 

[daddyfaux]

Eh, I don't think it's an age thing, I think it's a mental state.

You seem to be brooding, maybe still from the heartbreak you've experienced? Maybe the loneliness is setting in and the desire for a life-partner is stronger than ever.

That right there is enough to be turned off to porn. I don't know if there's a science to it, and I bet everyone's different, but I can say when I was heartbroken porn didn't do anything for me, and would most of the time make me cry in shame!

I'm fairly happy and my porn habits have returned to binge-viewing every other night.