Ppl who make you feel like shit for being honest

[fetaby]

Yeah. There's some weirdness there. But keep in mind that while you have your quirks so do others. Some people can be honest and open like yourself, but others find it less so. Perhaps he's like that?

If he responds with, lol it's cool. Do you have any other recourse but to take him at his word?

But what would really cinch this up is knowing how long/well you know this guy? I can understand some miscommunication from a new person, but someone who's been in your life for years should know by now. ..

 

[fetaby]

Could be you feel a little vulnerable cause the honesty does leave you open. But what can you do?

 

[freefall]

I never like texting for anything which is highly ambiguous without emotional convey. The lack of emotional expression can lead to weird reactions. Often I get negative if not offended reactions for things I said on the Net, e-mails, or texts because the ones reading misunderstood my points when I didn't mean it to be that way.

My advice? Don't 100% assume on texts. Best you talk to the person or at least listen to him/her saying the words, then you can understand the context better - except if it were bluntly rude (e.g. excessive crude words, direct attack which was too personal, etc.).

 

[Corny]

I assume you are in america. I have noticed that honesty isn't been taken kindly with many people there For some reason take offense on too many things. When I say "No I don't like golf, that's why I don't want to join you" they consider this to be rude, because they understand "Fuck you, I won't do ANYTHING with you because I hate you".

So you have to make up some bullshit excuse and wrap in a flowery wording.

I'm still "learning" that, too

 

[sixthson]

If you are offending multiple people, you may want to examine your "honesty". It's possible you are more blunt that you realize, in which case you may need to temper your honesty with some tact. Also, chatting online can often lead to unintentional misunderstanding. Not being able to look into someone's eyes can cause someone to misread you. I'm not saying you shouldn't have online relationships, just that you may be coming across as more harsh than you intend. A soft answer turns away wrath.

 

[palemale]

What part of America have you been to? There are a myriad of culture differences within the state, so this comes off way too broad.

True. We New Yorkers are pretty blunt, and most of us don't take any offense when someone is blunt with us.

The problem with email, texting and any electronic communication is that misunderstandings are quite common and statements can easily be understood in a way that wasn't intended. With electronic communications, the recipient of the message doesn't hear a tone of voice, see body language or witness facial expressions. Irony often is missed, which is why electronic communications are filled with those ridiculous smiley faces and dopey "lol" expressions. Speaking on the phone or in person is always better.

 

[oakpope]

Texting without context can be deceiving. Maybe you could talk over the phone or face to face about the issue to clear any misunderstandings there may be ?

I have had the same feeling of "being shit" because of short answers after a lengthy text from me, and very often it was nothing, no time to text more from the person, or the fact the person was not offended at all and had nothing important to tell. Don't assume too much over a simple line. Maybe try to communicate again to have more information about where you two stand on the matter.

 

[Seasoned]

There's an adage which states that honesty without compassion is cruelty. Blunt and honest are two different things.

 

[medic1]

Tried the Samaritans , they are even generouss ,

 

[medic1]

What part of America have you been to? There are a myriad of culture differences within the state, so this comes off way too broad.

Hy friend doncha just love FREE SPEECH !!!!!

 

[racer2438]

IDK about others but I never feel like shit for being honest...never never.

I feel better if anything at all...

 

[G-Lexington]

Two points.

First, I tend to keep everything on me, and try to phrase every invite decline like it's a "failing" on my part. So let's compare and contrast.

"We're going golfing today. Do you want to join us?"
"You know - I've tried golfing a few times and I just can't seem to get into it, for whatever reason. I don't want to be a drag on your game, so I'm gonna pass. Do you want to get together next weekend sometime?"

Not too different from what you've suggested, but it moves away from "I don't like golf", which some people might get touchy about.

Point the second.

1. Rob invites Mike golfing.
2. Mike declines, because he doesn't like golf.
3. Rob suggests getting together next weekend, and Mike agrees.
4. "Two weeks and no word from Rob."

It's not clear, but did Mike try to contact Rob? Or was Mike just waiting for another invite from Rob? One which he could potentially turn down because the activity wasn't to his liking? Because the smart move would've been to immediately work on coming up with something to do that WOULD be enjoyable to both parties.

"Let's get together next weekend."
"That sounds good. There's that new movie opening that Friday, or we could go see the new museum exhibit."

If you really want something to happen, it's best not to toss out casual, open-ended invites. See if you can nail something down right away.

Lex