Hi.
First, I would like to say I know this isn't the final place to ask and that I should ask for professional help, yes I know that, all I want to know are your opinions and/or experience here
My problem, what worries me, is my sexual performance. What exactly the problem is I'm not sure, if premature ejaculation or erectile disfunction, or both. As you can see I'm not sure, and my "experience" doesn't help here. I'll need to talk about me as I think it is important.
I'm 25, but my sexual experiences (male only) are very few. I am somewhat bissexual, because sexually men attract me more, but I can only imagine myself with a relationship with a women. I mean imagine as I never ever had any kind of love attraction. None. I'm a very rational person so that may be the first cause, but in the end of the day what matters is that love (well, outside family and friends) is an alien thing to me. The fact that I'm assymetrically split doesn't help, but I think it's mostly because I'm totally unable to bond, I think in the deep I'm very insecure about that and afraid, so that emotionally I'm very weak.
So, to the main subject. I think I have either premature ejaculation or erectile disfunction or both. As I said I had very few sexual experiences, none with women and some with men. I've been bottom and tried to be active. Tried, because I couldn't even penetrate (ideally I would like to be versatile). Could it be because I was nervous, etc? Could be, but I really think the main cause isn't that, as my years of experience with masturbation tells me I reach orgasm very fast.
In both times I tried to top my penis couldn't stay hard enough time to penetrate and/or wasn't hard enough. And of course, when I try to make it hard again I just get dangerously closer to orgasm. In the first time I ended up ejaculating with my penis mid-hard, the second time I just gave up and I knew I would not be able to do it. I know my penis can get hard enough to penetrate, but generally it stays in a mid-term that I'm not sure is enough to penetrate and I need aditional stimulation to get him to the very hard point.
I'm not sure if I have erectile disfunction that prevents me to have a hard penis as "normal sexual mode". I think this is part of the problem. But the premature ejaculation could also indirectly be doing that, by giving me an orgasm where people would still be warming up to get the "full" erection. IMHO, I think I have a bit of both. I don't get instant orgasms e.g. just by looking, but the stimulation really does make me reach orgasm fast, I guess 10 seconds could be a good estimate if I continue the masturbation without stopping. When I'm masturbating of course I stop all the time so that my masturbations last longer than 10 seconds, but you see the stop again and start method doesn't and won't work at all for me. I've had some very very rare masturbation sessions that I could hold on like a minute or so, but those are statistically irrelevant, it's nor my normal "mode".
This really breaks my heart as I feel that I'm not "working" fine. With men I can bottom, but that doesn't satisfy me, I want to be active too. And with women, you can see it's even worse
I can still enjoy sexuality by masturbating together, and kiss, etc, no. It would really not satisfy me and I would be lying hugely if I said I would be happy with "just" that. I want to effectively use my penis damnit I'm a grown up person, I know I can't aspire (nor I desire so) to hold on for hours, the point is that currently I'm unable to have any fun at all. As I said, I feel half man and I'm not happy with myself.
I waited until I had some sexual experiences to tell if this was just my expectations or something like that. I had very few experiences, but I think I can conclude it's not all inexperience in this chapter. Yes, I'm a somewhat depressed person, it's my rational personality, however I like who I am and getting a gf would be the only thing I miss. That chronic, mild, depression may be intensifying it all, but all those masturbations show that it's also not only depression as many times I'm just doing it with no cloud over my head (and I am doing them since ever too). This is not something that evolved (the sexual performance), I always was like this. So I was saying, now that I had some more (few) experiences in the sexual world I am concluding there's something wrong with me so that I'm thinking a lot more on these problems and will try to see how I can solve them. This post for example is one of those "let's see what people think of this".
I think the fact that I never had any sexual experience with women is because of the emotional part, as I said, but also because I know I will fail in sex. I mean, I never had any opportunity, let's say this way, but whatenever I'm in a place I can potentially get a girl (for sex only, remember the emotional thing) I'm always afraid and one step back because of that. I think in the current state I will not want it even if I'm proposed to that. I will not do it right (I will not do it at all) and that will make me feel even worse. "Sex isn't only about penetration etc", well, I can't lie to myself and honestly I need that part too. I won't be fully satisfied without that, it's horribly this simple.
No I never used Viagra nor anything like that. It sounds interesting but it won't solve premature ejaculation. It sounds like it would allow for penetration (if I would have fun with that because of PE would be another matter). And again my inner self, which is a bitch. Having to take a pill each time I want to have sex really turns me off, I wouldn't be (fully) satisfied with it too, again I would feel 3/4 (?) of a man. I'm 25 for god's sake, I know I surely will need some help later, but I feel I'm not fulfilling myself. Yes, I know I'm not the only man in the world with this problem, but I don't feel happy with it so I'll try everything to make it work. If someone says to me "you can't work right on this ever, deal with it" then I would be forced to accept this condition and to live with it. It isn't world ending, but now I feel it is getting worse as it is preventing me to approach women, so it's more noticeable and worryfying. I feel however that before that step of acceptance that I can't work right I may have access to some help. Other drugs will also fall in this category, I won't be fully accepting it, that's my heart and it can't lie.
Another thing I considered was circumcision. Circumcision would surely improve the endurance, how much I don't know, but it would improve at least a bit, no? I like my foreskin but if it improves my sexual performance to "normal" levels then bye bye How would I do it is however more problematic, as it would not be a procedure for medical reasons (so money and appropriateness can be a problem). I would need to face my family. They would accept it easily, but I will feel most unconfortable with it. Not only addressing it but also living with that over my perception of them about me. That part is really a hard task.
One thing is certain, I'm not happy at all, and I will need to accumulate a lot of courage to seek for help, I'm a shy, quiet person, and specially involving people I know (that's why doctors I don't know would be much better) into this will be horrible for my inner self, I mean involving in this issue I find most embarrasing (not because I should be a sex machine or that they would reject me, just the simple fact of it mentioning the genitals would weirdly making me feel bad. This is just stupid, but I am who I am).
Can you give some insight or experience? Surely some of you have passed through something similar, I know I'm far from being the only person in this situation. Sorry for the looong post
First, I would like to say I know this isn't the final place to ask and that I should ask for professional help, yes I know that, all I want to know are your opinions and/or experience here
My problem, what worries me, is my sexual performance. What exactly the problem is I'm not sure, if premature ejaculation or erectile disfunction, or both. As you can see I'm not sure, and my "experience" doesn't help here. I'll need to talk about me as I think it is important.
I'm 25, but my sexual experiences (male only) are very few. I am somewhat bissexual, because sexually men attract me more, but I can only imagine myself with a relationship with a women. I mean imagine as I never ever had any kind of love attraction. None. I'm a very rational person so that may be the first cause, but in the end of the day what matters is that love (well, outside family and friends
) is an alien thing to me. The fact that I'm assymetrically split doesn't help, but I think it's mostly because I'm totally unable to bond, I think in the deep I'm very insecure about that and afraid, so that emotionally I'm very weak.So, to the main subject. I think I have either premature ejaculation or erectile disfunction or both. As I said I had very few sexual experiences, none with women and some with men. I've been bottom and tried to be active. Tried, because I couldn't even penetrate (ideally I would like to be versatile). Could it be because I was nervous, etc? Could be, but I really think the main cause isn't that, as my years of experience with masturbation tells me I reach orgasm very fast.
In both times I tried to top my penis couldn't stay hard enough time to penetrate and/or wasn't hard enough. And of course, when I try to make it hard again I just get dangerously closer to orgasm. In the first time I ended up ejaculating with my penis mid-hard, the second time I just gave up and I knew I would not be able to do it. I know my penis can get hard enough to penetrate, but generally it stays in a mid-term that I'm not sure is enough to penetrate and I need aditional stimulation to get him to the very hard point.
I'm not sure if I have erectile disfunction that prevents me to have a hard penis as "normal sexual mode". I think this is part of the problem. But the premature ejaculation could also indirectly be doing that, by giving me an orgasm where people would still be warming up to get the "full" erection. IMHO, I think I have a bit of both. I don't get instant orgasms e.g. just by looking, but the stimulation really does make me reach orgasm fast, I guess 10 seconds could be a good estimate if I continue the masturbation without stopping. When I'm masturbating of course I stop all the time so that my masturbations last longer than 10 seconds, but you see the stop again and start method doesn't and won't work at all for me. I've had some very very rare masturbation sessions that I could hold on like a minute or so, but those are statistically irrelevant, it's nor my normal "mode".
This really breaks my heart as I feel that I'm not "working" fine. With men I can bottom, but that doesn't satisfy me, I want to be active too. And with women, you can see it's even worse
I can still enjoy sexuality by masturbating together, and kiss, etc, no. It would really not satisfy me and I would be lying hugely if I said I would be happy with "just" that. I want to effectively use my penis damnit I'm a grown up person, I know I can't aspire (nor I desire so) to hold on for hours, the point is that currently I'm unable to have any fun at all. As I said, I feel half man and I'm not happy with myself.I waited until I had some sexual experiences to tell if this was just my expectations or something like that. I had very few experiences, but I think I can conclude it's not all inexperience in this chapter. Yes, I'm a somewhat depressed person, it's my rational personality, however I like who I am and getting a gf would be the only thing I miss. That chronic, mild, depression may be intensifying it all, but all those masturbations show that it's also not only depression as many times I'm just doing it with no cloud over my head (and I am doing them since ever too). This is not something that evolved (the sexual performance), I always was like this. So I was saying, now that I had some more (few) experiences in the sexual world I am concluding there's something wrong with me so that I'm thinking a lot more on these problems and will try to see how I can solve them. This post for example is one of those "let's see what people think of this"
.I think the fact that I never had any sexual experience with women is because of the emotional part, as I said, but also because I know I will fail in sex. I mean, I never had any opportunity, let's say this way, but whatenever I'm in a place I can potentially get a girl (for sex only, remember the emotional thing) I'm always afraid and one step back because of that. I think in the current state I will not want it even if I'm proposed to that. I will not do it right (I will not do it at all) and that will make me feel even worse. "Sex isn't only about penetration etc", well, I can't lie to myself and honestly I need that part too. I won't be fully satisfied without that, it's horribly this simple.
No I never used Viagra nor anything like that. It sounds interesting but it won't solve premature ejaculation. It sounds like it would allow for penetration (if I would have fun with that because of PE would be another matter). And again my inner self, which is a bitch. Having to take a pill each time I want to have sex really turns me off, I wouldn't be (fully) satisfied with it too, again I would feel 3/4 (?) of a man. I'm 25 for god's sake, I know I surely will need some help later, but I feel I'm not fulfilling myself. Yes, I know I'm not the only man in the world with this problem, but I don't feel happy with it so I'll try everything to make it work. If someone says to me "you can't work right on this ever, deal with it" then I would be forced to accept this condition and to live with it. It isn't world ending, but now I feel it is getting worse as it is preventing me to approach women, so it's more noticeable and worryfying. I feel however that before that step of acceptance that I can't work right I may have access to some help. Other drugs will also fall in this category, I won't be fully accepting it, that's my heart and it can't lie.
Another thing I considered was circumcision. Circumcision would surely improve the endurance, how much I don't know, but it would improve at least a bit, no? I like my foreskin but if it improves my sexual performance to "normal" levels then bye bye
How would I do it is however more problematic, as it would not be a procedure for medical reasons (so money and appropriateness can be a problem). I would need to face my family. They would accept it easily, but I will feel most unconfortable with it. Not only addressing it but also living with that over my perception of them about me. That part is really a hard task.One thing is certain, I'm not happy at all, and I will need to accumulate a lot of courage to seek for help, I'm a shy, quiet person, and specially involving people I know (that's why doctors I don't know would be much better) into this will be horrible for my inner self, I mean involving in this issue I find most embarrasing (not because I should be a sex machine or that they would reject me, just the simple fact of it mentioning the genitals would weirdly making me feel bad. This is just stupid, but I am who I am).
Can you give some insight or experience? Surely some of you have passed through something similar, I know I'm far from being the only person in this situation. Sorry for the looong post
