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prob. an obvious question...

GreeneyedGemini

GreeneyedGemini

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Ive started hanging out with this guy who i suspect is into guys as well as me. however while he still does 'gay' things he also from time to time says overtly 'straight' things, imo to drive in the message that he's straight. i can go into further detail as to why i think he's closeted but ive told my straight friend who also happens to be an exfriend of said crush and he thinks i need to tell him upfront that i like him. im wondering if anyone has any suggestions. to reiterate we're not talking about a straight man but a closseted, prob in denial man. thoughts?
 
Doesn't matter. You can tell him that you like guys but if he says he's straight, believe him. And don't waste time trying to prove him wrong.
 
Find an available guy and stop messing around with these maybe gay guys.
 
Well if you're interested in him you should just tell him, no need to drag it out if you'd like it to go somewhere.
 
I'm going through the same thing right now. He admits he's conflicted. He doesn't know what he is, he's confused. I try to help him as much as possible but it's draining. I think he's fucking with me sometimes and he's straight and just teasing me but he insists that he's not that he's genuinely confused. lol. It goes on and on every night.
 
i think im gonna try to very casually tell him next time i see him. and thanks for all the helpful comments.
 
He sounds like too much trouble.

If he knows you're into guys and he's still playing straight, he's just built a fence around himself that isn't even worth climbing over.

Go ahead though.

Tell him you find him attractive but that you respect that he is straight.

And then get out there and find a real boyfriend who is out and comfortable with being the person he is.
 
i feel that i may not have described this guy well enough for u guys. we sleep in the same bed when im over there, and he cuddles with me. He has alot of gay tendencies even has that sorta gay voice. he recentely found out that his parents were looking up 'how to tell if your son is gay' behind his back. he flirts heavy with me all the time, even gave me his acoustic guitar the first time we met. i think the straight remarks he occasionally makes are a deffense mechanism more than anything. im hoping that if i tell him how i feel then maybe he'll slowly come out of his shell... i dont know though, figure its worth giving it a shot. the kid's gorgeous (imo) and so much fun to be around.
 
^ Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Let him know how you feel; at the very least, you're being honest... and you may possibly stand the chance of beginning a deeper relationship with him. Besides, everybody knows that Geminis are the BEST lovers. ;) Best of luck!
 
this guy is clearly a closet case, and has convinced himself he is straight. yes that is the gay guy talking in me, but maybe not a closet case, but clearly a cockhunter lol

i see this all the time, these guys are always talking to me, not knowing im gay, but sort of knowing at the same time. if fact im becoming close with one of these guys, hes my project lol....i am envious of your relationship with your friend.

one day he may wake up and realize his life has been a big lie, or maybe hes just comfortable with a "bromance" but not comfortable wearing the "Gay" label..

yea it sucks that male relationships are looked upon as "faggots, queers, etc" but until things change a little, it will be difficult for many thousands of men to find themselves. are you willing to help him, is it worth the trouble? if you think hes worth it, then why not help him? the worst that could happen is nothing.
 
^What evanrick said, except I'd call him "in denial", not a "closet case".

The problem with guys in denial is that they spend most of their energy trying to convince themselves and others that they're straight. Huge waste of time and energy.

As long as he believes his own lies that he's straight, nothing will happen.

Education is your only tool here. Why does he think he's straight ? Break down his stereotypes and false assumptions.

But it may be more work than it's worth, especially if he's built a wall.
 
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