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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

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didgee

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Ok, their is this guy at work, he's a few years younger than me and i usually go for older guys but this guy is sexy. We get on quite well and always plan to go out for a beer together but never end up doing it, he has just got his own apartment and told me that he will not have the heating on(a bit random i know), He is holding his warming party soon. as i don't live near he told me i can stay, and if i hear the floorboards creaking not to worry it isn't him trying to get into bed with me, to which I replied "if it's cold without the heating on, then i'll be climbing into bed with you". He laughed and carried on with his work, then turned around and said "i seem to get a lot of gay lads coming onto me now when i go out". I just told him it's probably his aftershave, I'm not out so he doesn't know I'm gay, do you think he is trying to give me signs or something???? I think i'm just going to let it play out and see if he makes any advances. He still has his boyish looks but when he loose's them he is going to be one handsome man. so what do you think??
 
"I seem to be getting a lot of gay lads coming on to me now when I go out." - Makes me think that he is straight.
 
It could be, but it might not be. No harm in letting it play out. If you do stay over at his place, feel free to lightheartedly remind him, as you get into bed, "Now if it starts getting cold in here, you ARE gonna get in bed with me here, right?" Say it with a smile. There's his invite. If he takes it, great. If he doesn't, no worries - you got a good friend. :)

Lex
 
well i'm led to belive he is straight, but he is also led to belive that i am straight. why say these things?? thats what i'm not understanding, like i said i'm not going to attempt anything, just see what happen's.
 
G-Lexington said:
It could be, but it might not be. No harm in letting it play out. If you do stay over at his place, feel free to lightheartedly remind him, as you get into bed, "Now if it starts getting cold in here, you ARE gonna get in bed with me here, right?" Say it with a smile. There's his invite. If he takes it, great. If he doesn't, no worries - you got a good friend. :)

Lex
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yeah i think thats a good comment to make.
 
Yes we've all fallen for straight guys before and we all think that maybe, just maybe, they'd be gay just for us. But it doesn't happen. If he's straight, he's straight and there's nothing you can do but be his friend. If all you're getting or sending are mixed signals you might try something a little clearer like,

"We really have to go out for that beer one night. I can hit on men, you can hit on women, it'll be fun"

That will let him know you are gay, and if he's gay and out he will most likely correct you by saying something like,

"Or we could both hit on men"

and if he's straight he'll probably say something like,

"Just as long as you don't hit on me"
 
With Human sexuality being as it is, you may not want to go too much by his verbiage and all kinds of statements everybody makes these days.

Do not flaunt anything. Do not make any declarations and cut the significant statements to their good measure. Let the game start and enjoy the result for whatever it may be.

Telling a dude that you are gay may or may not make it easier. Some will always reason that, if you are telling them, you'll be prone to telling the others as well. And that might be precisely, what these guys do not want to happen in the first place. You may be ready and willing to share your news with the rest of the world. Not everybody else sees that as an urgent necessity.

IMHE, a good, solid sense of privacy and discretion goes the longest possible way...

SC
 
Are you looking for friend or lover?

If you want a friend, pursue this.

If you want a lover, think about how this will impact your relationship at work and how it may affect other people if it doesn't work out.

You decide.

The guy sounds at least a little curious.
 
thats what i thought rare boy, but like i said i'll just let it play out and see what happen's. we work shifts and we only see each other at work maybe 2/3 times a week and even then we get sent to different area's or dinner at different times, there has been times when he has been working opposite me and i have caught him looking over at me, but then again i an quite the idiot at work and quite often get alot of people's attention. i really do think he maybe a little curious?? its really interesting to read what other people's opinion's are, so thanks everyone so far.
 
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