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Problems Ejaculating

raskdog

raskdog

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I have been seeing a guy for a while now. Apart from a couple of one night stands it's my first sexual relationship in a couple of years. The guy and I are having great sex, except for one thing. I don't seem to be able to cum. I have no problem getting it up but I just can't climax. The funny thing is that I cum like a lord when I masturbate but when I'm having sex it just won't happen. The guy I'm with is very cool about it at the moment but I'm worried that eventually it will become a turn off for him.
 
Your dick is trained to cum from masturbation... you have to retrain it to cum from his stimulation.

It could also be psychological. You're not mentally letting yourself let go enough to let him be in control of your body.

Just relax, and keep at it - you'll get there. Practice practice practice. :D
 
You need to be/get more relaxed, so time spent on just you alone j/o that you have a mental block not letting you fully relax and enjoy the time.
 
In the words of the Pointer Sisters "I want a man with a slow hand, I want a lover with an easy touch. I want somebody who will spend some time, not cum and go in a heated rush".
 
So, yesterday I felt horny all day. I knew I was going to over to my partner's house that night and was thinking that this was the night that it was going to happen. We had great sex, both at night and in the morning. Yet I still couldn't come. I had blue balls all day today and just shot a huge load. It's really depressing. I would so love to come for him. I think I am in love with this guy but so am worried I am going to turn him off. Would it be worth seeing a doctor or a shrink?
 
Would it be worth seeing a doctor or a shrink?
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You don´t seem to have a physical problem and it doesn´t read to me like a real psychological problem, so what should a Doctor do?

It might be that you trained yourself to come in a certain way, that is quite normal. You can change your habit of jerking off to get a wider window of stimulus that you respond to. You can also tell your partner how you like it.

am worried I am going to turn him off.
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Why are you worried this might turn him off, did he every say anything about it?
 
Probably anxiety or the fact that you are used to masturbating really fast. I've noticed a lot of guys need to end sex with jerking off because they are used to it and they can't get the same speed when fucking.
 
Geiri85 said:
Probably anxiety or the fact that you are used to masturbating really fast. I've noticed a lot of guys need to end sex with jerking off because they are used to it and they can't get the same speed when fucking.
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Yeah I've noticed this lately. I seem to be able to cum again but I need to jerk off after I have fucked him. However it's odd that the more I slow down when I fuck him the closer I feel to cumming.

Is it possible that his ass is too loose. He has had all sorts of things up there in the past. Is it possible that it is too loose now for me to be able to cum?
 
raskdog said:
Yeah I've noticed this lately. I seem to be able to cum again but I need to jerk off after I have fucked him. However it's odd that the more I slow down when I fuck him the closer I feel to cumming.

Is it possible that his ass is too loose. He has had all sorts of things up there in the past. Is it possible that it is too loose now for me to be able to cum?
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I'm sure he's not too loose... but I would imagine he's not as tight as the grip of your hand when you J.O. If you feel yourself getting close while fucking him, stay with it, and focus on that feeling until it happens.
 
It can help to loosen the grip and slow down the speed when masturbating... in steps over time. Your body will get used to it which will lead to it being easier to cum when having sex.
 
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