Pursuing a guy

[Stoopid]

If you guys remember, I was the one who created the"ignoring my best friend" topic. I decided to not ignore him, and everything is fine and dandy. I haven't been able to talk to him much lately, but I still value him muchos.

Anyway, I'm in college now, and I've met this guy during the 3rd week of college at a club meeting. I thought he was a bit cute, so I introduced myself to him, but he was very awkward and quiet, so I just forgot about him. He didn't show up for the meetings until last week, which was when my interest in him suddenly grew. Didn't speak to him until the following saturday, when we both were doing community service for the club. I got to do some smalltalk with him, fortunately. This past meeting on last monday, I got a chance to have an even fuller conversation with him, and I added him on facebook.

It seems as if we have a lot in common, such as tennis, altruism, chocolate, and social awkwardness, but he claims to be straight on facebook (I'm openly bi on facebook). I'd be damned if he isn't gay though, judging from his hand gestures, tendency to hang around females more, soft voice, and overall random and funny behavior.

What should I do? I'm not sure if I'll come across a homo who has this much in common with me again. Thanks.

I've also went to glbsta meetings, but they feel like a waste of time

 

[DiverDude]

I would ask him to go with you somewhere near campus. Over here at LSU, there's tons of coffee shops around, and a LOT of people frequent there to study or hang out.

Start with something like that. It'll give you 1:1 time with him, but be sure that you don't make it sound like a date. You might scare him off, especially if he's really uneasy about his sexuality.

If that seems to intimate, too soon, try something more fun that you can do with another couple of friends. I enjoy laser tag or midnight frisbee on the Parade Grounds on campus. That way, it's not as pressured, and he'll see you're a fun person.

 

[Eagle653]

I hope something comes of this--he seems like an interesting guy.

Insofar as you've added him to Facebook, and you're openly bi on there, he knows about you if he's visited your page. Now it's up to him to follow up in that direction if he's interested. He might be gay/bi and not know it--in fact, sometimes it's evident to everyone except the person himself! In which case, it won't help you, because he won't act on something he doesn't recognize or want to recognize.

Give him time and remain friendly. If nothing else, you seem to have a new friend with whom you have a lot in common. I know that's little consolation if you have much stronger feelings than that, though.

Keep us updated on what happens, and good luck!

 

[Homoerectus]

Why is being BI a problem. He likes having sex with guys and girls. YOu fall into at least one of those two categories, right? He has twice as many chances to hook up with some one as you do. Look at it this way; if the two of you hit it off, you are definitely a winner.

 

[Stoopid]

I think you've misread - I'm bi (but more leaning towards men), and he claims to be straight.

I'd definitely like an outing with just me and him, maybe a movie or something. I've actually had lunch with him, but one of his female friends was with us and we didn't get to talk so much.

I swear hes the cutest thing in the world, and I've been thinking of him way too much..

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, look at it this way. If he IS straight, he sounds like he'd still make a cool friend. So why not just work on continuing the relationship on a friend-basis for now? Is that something you think you can do without utterly going ga-ga for him?

Lex

 

[AngelFromAbove]

I'd be damned if he isn't gay though, judging from his hand gestures, tendency to hang around females more, soft voice, and overall random and funny behavior.

What should I do? I'm not sure if I'll come across a homo who has this much in common with me again. Thanks.

Could you stereotype anymore? In addition, it sounds as if you know for a fact that he's gay. Is there any other evidence that you have to offer?

As far as what you should do, I say continue to be friends with him as the two of you share many interests. Let progression happen naturally between the two of you.

 

[Stoopid]

Sure they're stereotypes, but I personally find them to be good indicators from past experience. I'm not saying that all gay are feminine. I know that straight men can be feminine, have limp wrists, and carry purses too... I have yet to meet a feminine, limping wristing, purse carrying heterosexual man, but maybe someday I will find him. And when I do, I'll ask him out to a nice movie.

Evidence- I've also noticed him eying an attractive male when I was around him, but I'm always eying random things, so I don't know. Of course, I'm definitely willing to just be friends if he doesn't fancy me the same way, and I wouldn't be terribly broken!

I'd like to go out with him somewhere, but then he might think it'd be a date type thing, when I want it to be more of a friends hanging out type thing. I guess I could bring along another one of my friends, but then that would just prevent me from getting to know him better.