Pursuing Straights is a recipe for heartbreak

[JNewYork]

I know the fantasy of getting with some hot stud who is uber masculine and straight sounds great but the reality is not great, usually.

Years back a straight co-worker made subtle hints that he was interested. Prolonged eye contact, letting me catch him looking at my crotch, etc.

This escalated to where we were eyeballing each other frequently. I would have bet money on us getting together. Wouldn't you? I mean the guy was staring at my cock every day.

Well we never did get together. He strung me along for a year and the most heartbreaking part was my discovery that he was doing the SAME thing to several other coworkers! What an operator.

So what did I learn? I learned that he was an asshole. That he had some homosexual desires that he couldn't bring himself to act upon so he did the next best thing, which was to play this game with several people. It got him off without him having to really do anything.

I made a pass at him and he said No. What a dick.

That year was the most painful year of my life. Life is very short. Do you think I'd put myself through that again? Nope. But you might. I wish you luck, but I wish even more that you'd find yourself a GAY or BI dude who IS into doing it.

I have no time for games. Shit or get off the pot. I will not put myself through that shit again. EVER.

 

[Rex]

I don't get it. So he was eyeballing you and you assumed the two of you were going to end up in a long term relationship and he was going to become gay and everyone would live happily ever after?

He was probably bi curious and that was it, and just wanted to try something with a guy. That interested probably changed or he decided against it, but the problem is more you letting yourself get so caught up over very vague hints... and this went on for a year?


I mean, if you two would have had sex I guess it would be more understandable but even then it's never going to end in anything more than the straight guy wanting to try it just for the excitement and after he cums he's going to pretend it never happened and go on about his life.

 

[Telstra]

Every time you meet some one,
if you assume the % of success is very low, you will be alright.

In your situation, you assumed the % of success is very high correct?

 

[wonderwort]

Jnewyork, you've brought up a good point about spending too much time and energy on straight guy.

Some of us get too worked up over straight dudes...where there is no hope of ANYTHING , EVER.

But from what you posted....your situation doesn't seem like the case.

Your straight guy seems odd.....the only sure thing is that HE IS A JERK.

 

[Krakenbwool]

That awkward moment when you realize real life isn't porn...

 

[whatdidyousay]

That awkward moment when you realize real life isn't porn...

Lovely lady, you nailed it. No pun intended.

 

[Telstra]

Lovely lady, you nailed it. No pun intended.

so you are that "straight" man ...

 

[whatdidyousay]

so you are that "straight" man ...

Sure!

Just minus the "subtle hints...prolonged eye contact...letting me catch him looking at my crotch, etc" part.

WTF does that??

If you wanna smash, smash.

 

[JNewYork]

Jnewyork, you've brought up a good point about spending too much time and energy on straight guy.

Some of us get too worked up over straight dudes...where there is no hope of ANYTHING , EVER.

But from what you posted....your situation doesn't seem like the case.

Your straight guy seems odd.....the only sure thing is that HE IS A JERK.

Thanks. Yes, I agree.

This guy really played me. And how straight can he really be when he's staring at my cock? The reason it went on for a year is he would go through periods where he'd stop doing it. Then he'd start up again and that would get me going again.

I was being guided by my cock and my heart. I was falling for him, at least to where I could not get the idea out of my head that we were going to at least fool around. And why would I not think that? I've gotten with guys who did not stare at my cock.

But I learned a painful and hard lesson, that there are guys out there who will play games as a way to get themselves excited. And those games are where it ends for them. They lack the courage to go through with it but also lack the ethics so that they see nothing wrong with using another for their game.

In his case, he was using several others too. That really hurt when I started to see him playing the same game with others. People think they're sly but anybody with their eyes open can see the score.

Today I am in a happy relationship with a gay guy who I love. And I don't know or care to know what that creep is doing.

 

[whatdidyousay]

But I learned a painful and hard lesson, that there are guys out there who will play games as a way to get themselves excited. And those games are where it ends for them. They lack the courage to go through with it but also lack the ethics so that they see nothing wrong with using another for their game.

Yeah, that sounds like it sucks. Sorry dude.

But a lot of people just like to play games, to be admired, even worshiped. This guy sounds like he was getting his kicks off the attention, and you were just taking things way seriously. He was only thinking of himself, like selfish people always are.

 

[JNewYork]

Yeah, that sounds like it sucks. Sorry dude.

But a lot of people just like to play games, to be admired, even worshiped. This guy sounds like he was getting his kicks off the attention, and you were just taking things way seriously. He was only thinking of himself, like selfish people always are.

Yes, I think you've nailed the situation perfectly! I was surprisingly naive and just didn't know about this reality. I just thought if a dude was looking at my cock and all over me, pursuing me, that it meant something was definitely going to happen. He played me for his own selfish purposes. Oh well. Lesson learned. I won't go down that road ever again.

My advice to anyone down that road: Make your move and if he stalls you know he's full of shit. Move on and get away.