Putting flirting behind me

[IceColdLover]

I have decided to, as sad as it makes me, to discontinue flirting with guys. What brought me to this is that I lost a good guy friend over flirting with him, when it was both of us getting a bit flirty to begin with. I guess I may have gotten a little too persistent when I asked for a pic of him in his underwear, but he could have said "no thanks" instead of blocking me on MeetMe and Twitter. It really broke my heart and I feel bad for asking. I suspect that maybe he was under a lot of stress from other things and I wasn't helping matters, or felt like he was cheating on this guy he likes, as to why he cut me off. I just don't know, but it seems to be a breaking point in me not flirting with guys anymore.

This is not the main reason though, I have kind of not been feeling the whole flirting thing for awhile now. It has to due with me not being comfortable with my body and not wanting to really show pics to other guys because it's not as good as most I receive from them and sometimes guys just don't reciprocate the flirting or don't respond back right then and there and that kills the whole session of flirting, so I just become uninterested after that. I haven't been responding back to these guys I flirt with because what's the use, you know, if I'm not feeling it anymore and just not getting any fun out of it. I don't even add people anymore on social sites because I feel like I'll be bugged with sex and flirting or I'll be an inconvenience to them and then they'll stop talking to me, so I'm just not talking to really anybody anymore.

I'll still watch porn and masturbate to get my fix I suppose, but I'm just not feeling the hookups, sex and flirting anymore, just don't want the emptiness after the fact and all the awkwardness too. I just can't handle the disappointment anymore, whether it be from friends or random guys, so I am just done with men for the time being. Am I doing the right thing?

 

[swerve]

There IS a line between flirty and creepy...

Don't give up -- just figure out where that line is!!!

 

[IceColdLover]

There IS a line between flirty and creepy...

Don't give up -- just figure out where that line is!!!

If it was creepy to them, then why would they flirt with me in the first place?

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Doing be right thing based on what?

What are you flirting for? What's your goal? Do you make that clear?

 

[IceColdLover]

Doing be right thing based on what?

What are you flirting for? What's your goal? Do you make that clear?

Why else does a gay guy or anyone for that matter flirt for? It goes without saying.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Why else does a gay guy or anyone for that matter flirt for? It goes without saying.

It doesn't.. some people just want attention.. others want sex.. some want to date.

Everyone has different reasons and they aren't always the same all the time for one person. Also, are you talking about flirting on an app? In person?

 

[Seasoned]

I guess I wouldn't call that flirting. To me, flirting is more hinting than direct requests. It seems as though you've scared him off. Real flirting is a much longer dance and can get quite frustrating.

No matter where you meet people both you and they have the right to reject further contact. Of all the people I know and have met in 68 years only one was husband material. There are no guarantees. The next person you meet might be a forever partner, or it may take years to find someone compatible.

It's a more successful search it it begins with a healthy you with good self-esteem. Know your strengths; know your weaknesses. Do some abouthim the ones you can correct and put yourself out there on equal footing with everyone else.

 

[checkinthingsout]

If it was creepy to them, then why would they flirt with me in the first place?

Maybe they were trying to be nice and give you a chance. Everyone is the best at flirting but if you kept striking out with these guys, at some point they might deem this flirtation a waste of time and cease contact.

Maybe step your game up?

 

[eastofeden]

Am I doing the right thing?

Yes...put it behind you

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Am I doing the right thing?

Sure you are. Just position that anus right in front of the gloryhole. Saves everyone involved a lot of time.

 

[TX-Beau]

If it was creepy to them, then why would they flirt with me in the first place?

a. maybe they weren't flirting and you just thought they were.

b. maybe they started out flirting and you crossed the line.

c. maybe they were just playing games and seeing what you'd do next.

d. maybe they were just freaks in the first place.

It's always suspicious when a guy finds all other men disappointing, it makes one want to find the common denominator.

 

[IceColdLover]

Maybe they were trying to be nice and give you a chance. Everyone is the best at flirting but if you kept striking out with these guys, at some point they might deem this flirtation a waste of time and cease contact.

Maybe step your game up?

Oh I see. I don't need anybody to "be nice and give me a chance", people just need to be real and not play these pretending games with everybody. I'm an adult, people playing games and hinting isn't the best way to communicate with me or anybody for that matter. I just think guys are duds and only want temporary satisfaction, as to why they put it out there and then run away afterwards.

Am I doing the right thing?

Yes...put it behind you

Oh, you again, the one who can't help but not give me good advice.

Sure you are. Just position that anus right in front of the gloryhole. Saves everyone involved a lot of time.

You know, that is incredibly rude and I wish you'd refrain from commenting on my threads because you never have anything nice to say to me at all. You border on being a cyberstalker/bully.

a. maybe they weren't flirting and you just thought they were.

b. maybe they started out flirting and you crossed the line.

c. maybe they were just playing games and seeing what you'd do next.

d. maybe they were just freaks in the first place.

It's always suspicious when a guy finds all other men disappointing, it makes one want to find the common denominator.

Yeah, perhaps. All I get anymore is guys coming out of the blue asking for sex and trying to flirt, and I'm just over it. I don't go to every guy I see and flirt with him, I actually take an interest in them and their lives and those are the ones that usually just drop me, which is sad because I try to develop something more meaningful with people I talk to and am left with creeps that only want the shallowest of things from me. I don't have time for silly games anymore. Who does? I can live without sex, flirting and fickle men, I actually have the self-restraint and strength to.

 

[tarallucci]

As long as you're ok with yourself. If that's what you really want and you have learned from the "flirting", it is a very nice goal. Getting to know someone and feeling at ease with him, without even having sex, is far better and more satisfying in the long term. I'm glad you chose to put the flirting behind, as you've seen it can be hurtful most of the times.