Queer eye for the ???str8??? guy.

[theinspiredone]

I need help from you guys. There is this guy that I like but I am not sure if he is gay or str8 for the most part it would seem that he is str8 but certain things don't add up. I had prepared a thread for this but turned out to be too long so I'm putting up the short version instead! if anyone wants the long version just tell me and ill put it up.

1. he is always looking at me in work then looks away when I catch him and goes red in the face.

2. whenever we talk he goes red and I get all nervous and shake lol.

3. he does stupid things and gets embarrassed when we talk sometimes in work e.g he walked into a door on 2 occasions when we were talking.

4. he grabbed my ass and kept saying repeatedly that I looked gr8 and that it was good to see me when I met him on a night out ( ok granted he was pretty drunk and he text me the next day apologizing saying that he was a bit too 'friendly' and that it happens sometimes when he's drunk)

5. he had a gf but broke up recently saying that they weren't having fun together anymore.

6. he has the whole emo thing going on with the blond hair.

7. when I told him I was leaving work he got all quiet and put his head down and went ohh... but when I told him I was going to be staying in the country he got all happy and said that that was good to hear.

8. whenever we are in a group and I'm not talking to him or I'm talking to other people I see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye even as he is talking to someone else.

ok so he has told my other m8 who came on to him that he wasn't gay and didnt feel about him this way but I don't know maybe he just didn't like my m8??

any ideas guy's?

 

[gustischafer]

wow! it's a little bit complicated. from what you've said he sounds like a great person!

i think he likes you. he could be bisexual and you could be a man (maybe the first?) who likes. and he probably didn't like your friend, but i think he was shy, that's why he rejected your friend.

i think that you should test him. say or do some things and see his reaction. but don't overdo it!

i hope i helped you!

 

[saymyname]

why don't you just ask him?

 

[savboy]

Number 4 makes him sound like he may be gay or at least bi....

 

[texan_slant]

Unless he says so, I wouldn't make any assumptions that he is gay/bi.

The ball is in your court - cuz things are pretty much gonna remain the same unless you feel comfortable enough to come out to him, and see what his reaction is.

 

[CtBoyWonder]

I need help from you guys. There is this guy that I like but I am not sure if he is gay or str8 for the most part it would seem that he is str8 but certain things don't add up. I had prepared a thread for this but turned out to be too long so I'm putting up the short version instead! if anyone wants the long version just tell me and ill put it up.

1. he is always looking at me in work then looks away when I catch him and goes red in the face.

2. whenever we talk he goes red and I get all nervous and shake lol.

3. he does stupid things and gets embarrassed when we talk sometimes in work e.g he walked into a door on 2 occasions when we were talking.

4. he grabbed my ass and kept saying repeatedly that I looked gr8 and that it was good to see me when I met him on a night out ( ok granted he was pretty drunk and he text me the next day apologizing saying that he was a bit too 'friendly' and that it happens sometimes when he's drunk)

5. he had a gf but broke up recently saying that they weren't having fun together anymore.

6. he has the whole emo thing going on with the blond hair.

7. when I told him I was leaving work he got all quiet and put his head down and went ohh... but when I told him I was going to be staying in the country he got all happy and said that that was good to hear.

8. whenever we are in a group and I'm not talking to him or I'm talking to other people I see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye even as he is talking to someone else.

ok so he has told my other m8 who came on to him that he wasn't gay and didnt feel about him this way but I don't know maybe he just didn't like my m8??

any ideas guy's?

I'm in the same position as you are. This supervisor at work pretty much does
the exact same things you describe in your post. Except for the ass grabbing.
I get more of a slow body slam. I don't know what to make of him and his
actions. One day he told a co worker he thinks I like him. Them I hear from
other people that they think he likes me. I just don't get it. At some point,
I now know that he thinks I like him. I'm going to talk to him about it. Admit
a crush and tell him that the crush evolved because I thought he liked me.
I'll have to wait for the perfect opportunity. The one thing I hate about being
gay is. We can't assume that someone is gay, We have to assume they are
straight till proven otherwise. Straight guys can assume just about any girl
is straight unless proven otherwise. That sucks big time. The last
thing I want to face is getting up the courage and ask him out and get the
"I'm not gay" line. A friend said to me tonight that unless a guy is willing to
come out to you. He is to be considered straight. Nothing is more pathetic
than chasing after someone who doesn't want you back.

 

[rareboy]

It isn't complicated at all.

You're just making it that way.

Ask him to grab a bite some day after work. Over the main course, tell him that you're a homo. Talk about other stuff.

Then once you've decided on a movie you like, hang out together a second time.

If you still enjoy one another's company, ask him if he'd like to come over and watch some television and order in some food.

Then, hit the sheets and have wild monkey sex.

 

[Runewell]

God, this sort of thing is SO annoying to experience!!! I know what you mean, and it might seem like he's checking you out, but it doesn't necessarily mean that's what's happening. I'm not trying to be a downer or anything, but a roommate of mine displayed the same characteristics: staring at me while I wasn't looking (yayperipheralvision), sneaking looks into my room when I was reading/studying/drawing and running away when I looked up, and seeming to get nervous when speaking to me. After all of it he turned out to be straight. Sometimes we really can find what we're looking for, even if it isn't there.

Find some way to lure him out short of actually saying you like him. It's very embarrassing/ dismaying to get the signs wrong.

 

[spencer]

Yes, keep on writing the list of things you may think identify him as gay.

Or just hang out with the guy, cause gay or not, unless you spend time outside of work with the guy, he's not a prospect.

And since you won't know if he's gay or not anytime soon, then why not just be friends with him now before finding out.

get it?

 

[Lube]

The question isn't whether he's gay or not: it's whether he self-identifies as gay or not.

There are millions of gay men who self-identify as straight. They're in denial, or afraid of coming out of the closet, or super-religious, or a million other excuses. They are gay to their core, but self-identify as straight.

As long as a man self-identifies as straight, he is out of your league.

So, come out to him. Let him know you're gay (or at least that you're interested in him or want to go out).

If he self-identifies as gay, and he thinks you're cute/sexy, then you have something to go on.

If he self-identifies as straight, move on.

(I think this should be my new standard reply)

 

[Runewell]

^That's spot on, Lube.

 

[Lube]

^ Thanks, Runewell. I think I'll blog it.

 

[theinspiredone]

hey lube thanks for the advice,

ok i have to put some names to people obviously these are not the real names

my name: John
the guy i like: Mark
my gay m8: Peter
my other m8: Philip

I think Mark may already know about me because as i mentioned earlier Peter came on to him and Mark rejected him by saying he wasn't gay but i remember Philip who was there at the time hearing Peter say to Mark that ''ah well John likes you too and he's also gay...'' or something to that effect. Peter was really drunk at the time and i talked to Mark about it the next day but didn't mention to him if Peter said anything about me.

How will I tell him? I'm suppose to be meeting him in 2 weeks for a night out in his town but this isn't definite. I would like to tell him before this though.

Maybe next time i talk to him i could say something like ''hey m8 do you remember that time we were all out drinking and i went home early did Peter ever say anything to you about me???'' what do u think?

 

[theinspiredone]

Find some way to lure him out short of actually saying you like him. It's very embarrassing/ dismaying to get the signs wrong.

LOL i would love to find some way to lure him out but any ideas how??

 

[G-Lexington]

Seriously? Quit the "I want you to tell me but I'm not going to tell you first" game. If you want to know, let him know first. If you tell him you're gay, that's his open to say the same.

Lex

 

[Lube]

^ What Lex said.

 

[rareboy]

^ What Lube said.

 

[Jo-thin]

Seriously? Quit the "I want you to tell me but I'm not going to tell you first" game. If you want to know, let him know first. If you tell him you're gay, that's his open to say the same.

Lex

yeah I agree with Lex! When had my crush on my best friend last year I had enough! If he wasn't going to tell me then I will! So I did come out to and it did turn out that he's straight! Till this day he doesn't know I liked him and he still treats me the exact same way he did before I told him! great friend

 

[theinspiredone]

So I've been talking to him a bit lately and we are going to meet up for drinks in 2 weeks, he wants to show me his local bar which also means that I will be staying in his place I am going to tell him either before or that night that I am gay so then the ball will be in his court to tell me anything that he wants, I am not going to tell him though that I kinda fancy him!
Wish me luck

 

[spencer]

now that is definate progress, congrats on actually doing something about it rather than the usual, observe and obsess.