Question about genital herpes

[CTorontoC]

This is a bit of an odd question I guess and I'm going to save too many details to make this brief. Basically, my ex who I split up with 6 months ago recently had his first outbreak of genital herpes. He caught it from someone he fucked after me, that is not a question. He had it looked at by a doctor and it healed over and he took some antibiotics as well. Prior to the herpes outbreak he began expressing interest in being together again. I am not close to being ready to date him again but I wouldn't mind fucking him for now . I have managed to go 28 years without an STI though and I'd like to remain that way as long as possible. I'm curious what the risk of transmission is with a condom on? I've read that someone can still shed the virus even if they don't have an active outbreak but it gets a bit fuzzy about whether you can catch it from areas that never had an outbreak and how effective condoms are.

Can I have receptive anal sex with a condom on and be reasonably secure I won't catch it ? Would oral sex require a condom to be safe? Is there an answer?

Please only ring in if you have a good idea of what you're talking about as I'm trying to make an educated decision.

 

[Corny]

Afaik it is basically like herpes simplex 1 (the one on the lips). The blisters, especially when open, are highly infectious. Other than that, "smear infection" still might take place. That means, if there is no skin contact - no infection. So a condom can protect. But I'm not sure how problematic it would be if he .. (for example) touches an infected area on his cock, puts the condom on .. and touches the condom from the outside with the fingers that touched the cock before. I have heard stories like that, but I'm not sure how much truth there is to it. Probably it's possible, but I guess it's also rare.

 

[maxpowr9]

^Adding onto what Corny said, about 40% of the population has herpes simplex 1. That is not an exaggeration. Most get it when they are minors too. Now if your ex has herpes simplex 2, I would be a bit more concerned.

 

[dkj32224]

Its kinda a matter of trust. Eventually he should be able to pick up on signs when an outbreak is coming (the is called the prodrome or warning stage) and you two should avoid contact then. After a while he will have less and less break out a year. Also he should have his doctor prescribe him valacyclovir and have him take it before you guys hook up. It helps treat breakouts but it also helps prevents them and transmission as well. If 1. he gets the meds, 2. you use a condom and 3. you trust the guy to be honest with you about when he might having breakouts. You shouldn't have anything to worry about. Also take some time to learn everything you can about the virus. The more you know the better you can protect yourself.

 

[CTorontoC]

Oral sex with a condom too?

 

[KaraBulut]

Oral sex with a condom too?

There are two types of HSV that are sexually transmitted - type 1 primarily affects the mouth and type 2 primarily affects the genitals. While it is possible for there to be cross-over - i.e. HSV-1 of the genitals, it's not very common.

But something "big picture" to think about...

Whenever we get these "I met this guy that I like but he told me he has ____" threads, the question in my mind is always, "Well, would you have slept with him if you didn't know?".

Most of the time, before they found out the person's status, they would have slept with them without giving it much thought. It's only when they know ahead of time that they stop and think.

We believe that about 70% of the North American population has HSV-1 and about 15-20% of the population has HSV-2. The chances are really good that you've already been exposed and there's even a possibility that you are already infected.

So, there's not much accomplished by making choices based upon whether you know or not. Assume every sex partner is possibly a carrier and use all the precautions that you can. But don't exclude a potential sex partner just because you know they're infected.

Knowing ahead of time doesn't make sex less safe or unsafe. You're more likely to get sloppy about safer sex with the sex partners whose status you don't know.

 

[Gekishinken]

Actually the number of people with HSV-1 is much higher than 40 percent. It's actually closer to 70 percent.
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/...10511_1_hsv-1-cold-sores-herpes-simplex-virus

The problem is that only about one third of those with HSV-1 will actually get cold sores. So TC it is likely that you already have HSV-1.

To be honest I would find out which form of herpes he has. If he has HSV-2 stay far far away from him. HSV-2 is what is more commonly called genital herpes. Genital herpes is highly contagious and you can catch it even if the person has no visible scars. The virus does something that is called viral shedding, this is where the virus sheds when your skin sheds. You can get genital herpes in your mouth as well, so you can get it from kissing. Genital herpes can even spread from skin to skin contact.

Really, if you want to take the risk of getting genital herpes in your mouth go for it as herpes is mostly just a cosmetic annoyance, but make sure you want to take that risk before you act.

 

[Gekishinken]

Here's something else that's kind of interesting. Did you know you can get herpes in places other than your mouth or genitals? You can get it in places like your eyes too. Apparently herpes is one of the leading causes of blindness in adults.

 

[KaraBulut]

^Genital herpes from kissing? That doesn't sound quite right. But if it is, it's probably uncommon.

But you can surely get HSV-1 from kissing.

Technically, HSV can infect any part of the body. HSV-2 has adapted to the skin around the anus and genitals but, in theory, it could infect other parts of the body but this is far less common. It's more common that we see HSV-1 on the genitals from oral sex.

Here's something else that's kind of interesting. Did you know you can get herpes in places other than your mouth or genitals? You can get it in places like your eyes too. Apparently herpes is one of the leading causes of blindness in adults.

HSV is one of the leading causes of blindness in developed countries. Primarily because developed countries have successfully treated the other, more common causes with antibiotics.

I alluded to this in my earlier post but HSV infects the surface layers of the skin. The key is that it spreads by skin-to-skin contact, so anywhere two people are likely to touch (including the hands) can be infected. For example, Herpes Gladitorium is a skin infection that can affect entire wrestling teams because of the amount of contact that occurs between wrestlers.

But we're way off topic from OP's original question....

 

[palemale]

HSV1 is oral herpes, HSV2is genital.

For the most part, a condom does not protect against HSV. By age 50, something like 80% of the people are infected with HSV1. HSV1 is so common it is not considered an STI (although it can obviously be transmitting sexually, among other ways). Approximately half of new herpes infections in the genitals are actually HSV1 (or oral herpes). It is also possible to get HSV2 (or genital) infections in the mouth. HSV1 infections in the genitals and HSV2 infections in the mouth are much milder then when they occur where they would be expected to occur and the risk of infecting someone else is greatly diminished. Moreover, if one has a herpes infection outside the usual place (ie HSV1 in the genitals), the risk of infection from the other herpes virus is greatly reduced, if not almost eliminated.

Therefore, you should find out what type of infection your ex has, HSV1 or 2, and where the outbreak was. I had a very slight outbreak of shingles a few years back during a bad case of hemorrhoids. The proctologist noticed a sore on my anus that he thought was possibly an HSV infection. Of course, shingles are caused by the herpes zoster virus, which anyone who has had chickenpox has. He tested it and it came back positive for herpes. Unfortunately, he did not ask for a virus specific test. I went for the blood test and was negative for both HSV1 and 2. However, it was only a few weeks since my last possible exposure, so I had to wait 3 more months. I again tested negative for HSV1 and 2. Since I was nearly 50 years old, and knew from research that 80% of my age cohort would at least be expected to have HSV1, I found this result confusing, in light of the initial positive test on the sore. I couldn't get in touch with my infectious disease doctor (it being late on a Friday), so I called the Center for Disease Control (CDC) hotline. When I explained the situation, the person at the CDC said the initial positive result was most likely caused by the shingles. When I spoke to my doctor on Monday, he told me the same thing.

 

[CTorontoC]

I've always tested negative for HSV but I understand the tests can be inconclusive. It was always my intention to have safe sex, my goal was to gauge how high the risk was of being infected myself and therefore whether or not it was worth it to take the risk. It seems like finding out which HSV it is would be the first step in any case.