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Hey all.
I'm 20 years old, gay, and was recently forced out of the closet. Though it wasn't something that I was completely comfortable with revealing at the time, I guess it's a chip off of my shoulder now and I am more accepting of the situation.
My best friend basically forced me out, but it brought up some underlying thoughts I've had about his own sexuality. He claims to be straight, but I'm having a difficult time figuring out if he's speaking the truth or just not ready to speak up, because there is quite a bit of evidence to support that he may in fact be gay.
Two weeks ago he started sending me text messages saying "I have a feeling your gay," "Someone told me you like men," "I'll still love you as a friend," etc. As I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel comfortable with saying this to yes, my best friend, mostly because I was afraid it would have an impact on our friendship. I kept denying it to the point of anger and frustration, and where our friendship was literally on the line. My phone went dead for a few hours and I didn't receive another follow up text message from him that said "I just want to throw it out there that I'm bi." THAT message didn't get delivered to me until the next day. The previous night he had called me about what was going on and how I need to be open and get things off my chest. He claimed at that point that "he's single and confused," and that he wanted to help break open the door so I could be more open and honest about my orientation. The conversation got really out of hand and I didn't bother talking to him for the rest of the night.
The next day when the "Bi" text message finally reached my phone, I responded asking him if it was the real deal or if I was being "Punk'd." He said it was a punk because he wanted to make it an even playing field.
When I first met him, I told him I was "flexible" with my orientation, but then I switched to being "asexual." Over the past six months of our friendship, some things went through my own mind to make me believe that he is not straight, which he claims to be. We once went to a gay club in West Hollywood with one of his gay friends (side note: he truly has a plethora of gay friends), which he seemed to be too willingly to attend. Another time the two of us had just left a bar in West Hollywood and as we were leaving we started to hold hands. I frequently stay the night at his house on the weekends and one night we were both in our boxers, brushing our teeth, and he said "one night you're going to wake up with my penis in your face." During those same weekends, he once said he is "gay," then "50/50" but an hour or so later he says he's straight. He even "loves" Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato, and Justin Bieber. According to him, he's known my orientation since the moment we met and I find it rather strange that a "straight" man would partake in such activities (more which I haven't even listed) with someone he knows is gay.
I can't tell if he's been trying to test the waters, and when I reacted so harshly he decided to draw back, or really what is going on. I've had straight friends and gay friends tell me he comes off as bi or gay, and that he seems too open and happy with me in public with his gay innuendo and gestures. A lot of "jokes" have truth to them, and it's becoming really hard to pinpoint. He truly does act 'gay.'
It's just getting really hard as yes, I know coming out is a rough and brutal process, but I'm in a position where he told me to be comfortable and come out, yet he's giving off vibes and flip-flopping.
Any helpful pointers, tips, or opinions? COULD he be gay and just doesn't feel comfortable yet? I know I didn't list too much to point in any which direction, but some guidance and help would be appreciated.
I'm 20 years old, gay, and was recently forced out of the closet. Though it wasn't something that I was completely comfortable with revealing at the time, I guess it's a chip off of my shoulder now and I am more accepting of the situation.
My best friend basically forced me out, but it brought up some underlying thoughts I've had about his own sexuality. He claims to be straight, but I'm having a difficult time figuring out if he's speaking the truth or just not ready to speak up, because there is quite a bit of evidence to support that he may in fact be gay.
Two weeks ago he started sending me text messages saying "I have a feeling your gay," "Someone told me you like men," "I'll still love you as a friend," etc. As I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel comfortable with saying this to yes, my best friend, mostly because I was afraid it would have an impact on our friendship. I kept denying it to the point of anger and frustration, and where our friendship was literally on the line. My phone went dead for a few hours and I didn't receive another follow up text message from him that said "I just want to throw it out there that I'm bi." THAT message didn't get delivered to me until the next day. The previous night he had called me about what was going on and how I need to be open and get things off my chest. He claimed at that point that "he's single and confused," and that he wanted to help break open the door so I could be more open and honest about my orientation. The conversation got really out of hand and I didn't bother talking to him for the rest of the night.
The next day when the "Bi" text message finally reached my phone, I responded asking him if it was the real deal or if I was being "Punk'd." He said it was a punk because he wanted to make it an even playing field.
When I first met him, I told him I was "flexible" with my orientation, but then I switched to being "asexual." Over the past six months of our friendship, some things went through my own mind to make me believe that he is not straight, which he claims to be. We once went to a gay club in West Hollywood with one of his gay friends (side note: he truly has a plethora of gay friends), which he seemed to be too willingly to attend. Another time the two of us had just left a bar in West Hollywood and as we were leaving we started to hold hands. I frequently stay the night at his house on the weekends and one night we were both in our boxers, brushing our teeth, and he said "one night you're going to wake up with my penis in your face." During those same weekends, he once said he is "gay," then "50/50" but an hour or so later he says he's straight. He even "loves" Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato, and Justin Bieber. According to him, he's known my orientation since the moment we met and I find it rather strange that a "straight" man would partake in such activities (more which I haven't even listed) with someone he knows is gay.
I can't tell if he's been trying to test the waters, and when I reacted so harshly he decided to draw back, or really what is going on. I've had straight friends and gay friends tell me he comes off as bi or gay, and that he seems too open and happy with me in public with his gay innuendo and gestures. A lot of "jokes" have truth to them, and it's becoming really hard to pinpoint. He truly does act 'gay.'
It's just getting really hard as yes, I know coming out is a rough and brutal process, but I'm in a position where he told me to be comfortable and come out, yet he's giving off vibes and flip-flopping.
Any helpful pointers, tips, or opinions? COULD he be gay and just doesn't feel comfortable yet? I know I didn't list too much to point in any which direction, but some guidance and help would be appreciated.
