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Question about soloing with Toys

T

ThatGuyLarry31

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So I'm a married guy, bisexual. My wife indulges my desires with a strap-on. It's great, I love it, she loves it. I'm usually on my back, her stroking my cock or I'm doing it but I'm great at edging throughout which leads to lots of precum leaking. Sometimes, even multiple cum shots. It's a great situation.

So when my wife is at work, and the kids are asleep, I'm like "Well let me get a toy and fuck my own ass and have a nice solo milking session. Except that doesn't work. Alone, in bed and eager, the Dildo just feels like "Something in my ass." That's it. I can't really get hard, can't really get anything going. Just a flaccid cock and a Dildo in my ass. I'll take some time and just fuck my ass with the Dildo for a bit, which feels great, but it leads to nothing. Ultimately I pull it out and just jerk off. I have had great success with butt plugs that vibrate.

Am I the only one with this issue? If I had to guess I'd say it has to do with being fucked. I like being on my back like the little bottom I am taking her strap. I like that she gets turned on, that I am being slowly milked toward an orgasm. But alone it's just not the same at all. Which, honestly, really sucks! lol
 
If this happens most of the time when you're alone, then you've hinted at the issue: it's the domination/penetration that is turning you on, more than the anal/prostate stimulation.

It sounds like you want a little play time when the wife isn't around and you're finding that you can't recreate the thrill of being dominated when you're alone?
 
Some guys just like the experience of surrendering control. Do you get excited thinking about her dominating you in other ways? Or is this solely about penetration?

I've heard both - and guys who want to suck and swallow but don't want reciprocation in any form. The psychology of it is where the arousal lies.

Playing those kinds of control games requires another person.

You should experiment with it and see what else you might enjoy her doing to you.
 
Yeah, I think it's the fact that someone else is fucking me. I know it turns her on to fuck me, etc. I get very excited thinking about her dominating me. When I watch gay porn like a gangbang, I'm never thinking about fucking the guy at the center of it. I want to be the guy at the center of it.
 
Unless your wife is okay with opening your relationship, you should probably explore the Dom-Sub aspect of your relationship more.

One option is a remote control butt vibrator that you wife has control over but probably the key piece for you is to find ways to incorporate your sub fantasies on the nights when you're at home and your wife is at work. It's a very common play scenario for dom-sub couples.
 
ThatGuyLarry31 said:
Yeah, I think it's the fact that someone else is fucking me. I know it turns her on to fuck me, etc. I get very excited thinking about her dominating me. When I watch gay porn like a gangbang, I'm never thinking about fucking the guy at the center of it. I want to be the guy at the center of it.
Click to expand...

Every sub, needs a Dom, have you discussed this with your wife?

Here's a game you can play when your wife is out. She gives you a set of tasks or instructions to complete, each with a risk or a reward attached. You can do this any way you can think of an actual list, text, calls, etc. The tasks are whatever she decides. As in "Do this" - reward or "Don't do this" - punishment, depending on what kind of sub you are. She can either require documentation as proof, or confession later on. Then of course, comes the reward/punishment.

There are endless ways to vary and tailor that scenario to fit the two of you.
 
KaraBulut said:
Unless your wife is okay with opening your relationship, you should probably explore the Dom-Sub aspect of your relationship more.

One option is a remote control butt vibrator that you wife has control over but probably the key piece for you is to find ways to incorporate your sub fantasies on the nights when you're at home and your wife is at work. It's a very common play scenario for dom-sub couples.
Click to expand...
She is okay with the idea of adding someone else to the bedroom. We have a very active sex life with lots of fun and experimentation.
 
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