Question for bisexual guys

[clicker]

I definitely find myself attracted to both sexes. My attraction to them waxes and wanes over time. I have had periods in time where men didn't cross my mind and vis versa. I feel a stronger emotional attraction to men, and the root of this is pretty deep seated, so i guess id feel a stronger over all attraction to men because sex involves emotion for me intensely.[/Q


What do you mean your same sex attraction has deep roots? You believe something traumatic made you bi/gay? Oh please tell me no. That's what anti-gay foes say all the time. Hogwash. Our straight/bi/gay is our inborn natur/epotential.

 

[clicker]

Why not?? Bi/homosexuality does not interfere with family life. Heterosexualit adultery does. Males have their same sex needs and there is nothing about this that violates a man's love for his wife. Worlds apart.

 

[clicker]

I think most guys who feel unattrctive to women tend to lean toward their own kind but as soon as the have enough confidence in them, they become more attracted to women, leaving behind only a ressidual or dormant attraction to the same sex. They know they have something to fall back on if women don't work out for them. After all, we know that cock is just pussy on a stick, right?

Hogwash. Are you saying confidence makes a man heterosexual but insecurity makes him homo? That's offensive psycho-bullshit. Gee, with those beliefs, go join the anti-gay groups. They'd love to have another self-hater on staff!

 

[clicker]

Some very nice posts here, I can relate to a lot of what's been said... it's nice hearing about others who are on similar journeys, but taking different paths.

To OP: If somebody is even compelled to rebel against society with their sexuality, it probably speaks to something deeper within the person (their being Homo/hetero/bisexual). If it didn't, then I'd expect this hypothetical person to just rebel against one of the many other things society imposes onto us instead.
That's not to say of course, some traumatic event in said person's life couldn't have lead him/her to psychotically commit to "changing" their sexuality. In that case, you'd be asking at the wrong forum.
To most directly answer your question though, I don't believe that many adult, bi-identifying people are lying to themselves or anybody else in order to make a statement. That's my hope, anyway.

You believe traumatic events can make someone gay/bi??! Why?

 

[socallove]

Best way I've ever heard it put was "I choose hearts not parts"

 

[monkeymann]

Ooooo I like that phrase! And it's true. I mean, really, physically I may be attracted to either, but it doesn't really matter because everyone should love someone for who they are, not for what they are.

 

[Cyanlaser]

There's an even number of people in the world. I, a hopeless romantic know that my better half is out there, and we're going to meet someday. I could honestly care less if it's a guy or a girl. I know that when I meet them, my heart will be theirs.

I've never done anything with a guy. There is only one guy I know personally that I would actually consider ever doing anything with, and I happen to know he's not interested.

I find gay porn attractive. I find men attractive. I find the fantasy about the whole experience.

However, I have fantasized about many-a-thing in life, and then encountered the real thing, be it roller coasters, technology, meeting heroes & idols of mine, and even relationships. When I find these things in person though, it often disappoints compared to the fantasy. I set my goals way too high I think, and it'll probably be my downfall, but I wouldn't trade the fantasy and dreams of a Mr. or Mrs. Perfect for the world.

Sorry for the long speech, but to put it simply. I hope gay sex lives up to the fantasy for me. I really, honestly, truly hope it does, but until then...fantasyland for me. I'll take either, should we have LOVE holding us together. At that point, all the "little things" they do will be more important to me than sex in the end.

(End of rant-i'm too long-winded I think. So sorry yall)

 

[krazy79]

Tough question. I seem to get harder faster and get off better with gay porn, but I still have a very strong attatraction to women that is one thing that hasn't changed.

From an emoitinal standpoint, I just can't seem to gather the feelings I've had for women in the past for guys.

I've never been with a guy, but if and when I do I don't think I'll suddenly become gay. I suppose its possible afterwards I might like guys a bit more, but I always be attaracted to women as well

 

[clicker]

Tough question. I seem to get harder faster and get off better with gay porn, but I still have a very strong attatraction to women that is one thing that hasn't changed.

From an emoitinal standpoint, I just can't seem to gather the feelings I've had for women in the past for guys.

I've never been with a guy, but if and when I do I don't think I'll suddenly become gay. I suppose its possible afterwards I might like guys a bit more, but I always be attaracted to women as well

So you're probably bi.Test it out.

 

[clicker]

I find it a little weird that so many guy's that have "Orientation: Gay" under their screen names say they've never actually had sex with a man and couldn't see yourself in a relationship with one. Have things changed since you chose that or something?

I find the reverse more common: Most guys say they're straight, but have sex with guys!!! Uh, delusion much? They don't even say bisexual at least, but straight!!! Imagine that?! Coowards. Men lie.

 

[clicker]

Whoa man, you;re jumping to more conclusions than you're implying that i am. I never said anything like that. Reconsider after reading it again.

Hope you took no offence, YOUNGFUR. It just sounded like you were trying to explain away same sex attractions by saying it has "deep roots". As you probably know, all anti-gay christian groups and Psychologists of the past would talk this way, trying to explain away/cure homosexuality. Of course, that nonsense did men much damage and thus I thought that was where you were going. Peace out. Oh, nice pic!!

 

[krazy79]

I find it a little weird that so many guy's that have "Orientation: Gay" under their screen names say they've never actually had sex with a man and couldn't see yourself in a relationship with one. Have things changed since you chose that or something?

That was a mistake on my part. I'm too lazy to fix it.

 

[clicker]

I'm sure there are tons of delusional guys out there, but I'm of the belief that getting oral or messing with a guy once or twice doesn't make you gay or bi necessarily, or might just be an occasional thing. But imagine if a Gay guy identified as bi or straight, then said "I don't like women at all though", especially on a site like this, where everything is anonymous and/or pretty open. Just weird in my opinion.

WEL478, good point, I basically agree, if I'm understanding you correctly. But a guy who's continually getting oral or messing around with other guys is not straight but bisexual-to whatever degree. he may indeed be mostly attracted to women, but still gets aroused by guys. I guess that's how it is for most bi guys. I wish I was more like that. My past sexual desires were mostly toward women, but as I neared the end of High School, guys became my almost exclusive focus of lust-to this day. I guess it was a straight phase. I am devastated to being gay only,I'll admit, but I wouldn't mind trying an attractive woman either alone or with another guy. I don't find pussy a turn off like most gay guys, so who knows? But man does it turn me on to see two hot guys being affectionate and passionate! Just guys being their natural, sexy self. I long for all men to be each less hostile to one another and to see intimate male bonding as a truly beautiful, healing thing. A necessity, actually.

 

[clicker]

One hopes that one day everybody will recognize that for the most part we do not choose to be what we are sexually. For most of us it just happens. My first partner was just fifteen like myself but we bonded in friendship that expressed itself in sex. The sex was fantastic, I think, because it expressed and confirmed the bond of love between us. But, we never stopped thinking of ourselves as pretty regular guys.

The summer after our junior year we sort of agreed to pay attention to the girls. His father supplied him with condoms in case he got to "messing with girls" in Montana while he worked on his grandparents' ranch. I was glad my friend of a lifetime, five years older than I, was free of college classes and that summer she introduced me to her body and helped me to know the joys to be had in sexual intimacy with a loving partner. At the end of that summer I was both an enthusiastic heterosexual partner but a pretty confident lover. Come September I was back to enjoying the joys of m2m sex in a loving relationship.

I have always been a faithful sexual partner--no cheating--but that predisposed me to having fewer partners than most men; three men and two other women beside my present wife. And, I was deeply in love with each of them before we ever had sex. And, I can say of all my partners that I loved them then and I love them still.

The payoff for me has been that in my journey into the fullness of my sexuality I have experienced fantastic sex. My last two male lovers were my roommate in college and my housemate while I was a teacher in Seattle. All of us men married; it was expected that we would. But, though I and my teen lover have been happily married men. My other male partners married but were soon divorced finding that they simply could not be husbands to women in the traditional way. Both eventually ended in discreet and very long term gay relationships.

Yes, I miss sexual intimacy with a man. And, I miss not just the sex but much of the non-sex aspects of intimacy. I find that I need male companionship and I am fortunate in having two long time male friends who have had the hots for me as I have for them for many years. We know each other's situation and we try to be supportive of their relationships as well as our own.

With my teen partner it was a case of our learning by doing and we did it all!!! From oral to anal and lots more. But all along the way what has impressed me most is the great boon we have in the beauty and the mystery of human sexuality and I remain in awe of it.

You are one lucky man to have experienced both gay and straight sexuality so positively and beautifully. I wish my life rolled out that way. As for missing all types of male intimacy, get what you can. We males have a need to bond with each other,be it sexual or not, and that need not destroy a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. To me cheating is only with oppositte sex partners That wouldn't work, nor is it desirable. It's my belief, though I know most guys disagree with me.

 

[hotcockalex]

to tell you the truth i think iam a pansexual, iam really attracted to both sexes and.... shemales

 

[conrad]

Clicker, much as I do miss m2m sex, I do not now, nor have I ever felt free to pursue that other side of my sexuality.

Two men who have been sexually attractive to me as I have been to them for many years have allowed for the kind of male bonding that is so essential to me. Frankly I am very complimented in knowing they still have the hots for me as I am certain they also are complimented in knowing I still have the hots for them also.

We have always had an understanding that should we ever step over the line together that would not be the end of our friendship.

But, then, consider that my two other female sex partners are still very sexually attractive to me.

I have concluded that it is love that still binds me to those former lovers and it is also love that constrains my continuing animal urges toward them.

 

[twtrob]

I am attracted to both. I guess I can't find all I want in just one or the other. It's funny cuz some of my friends say that I should date a tomboy girl or a feminine guy, but I find both unattractive.

 

[mnpervert]

I am attracted to men and women
I have had relationships with both
I have amazing sex with both
Yes I am Bisexual
The advatage of having a relationship with the same sex, if they are similar builds you just doubled your wardrobe

 

[BiBtm64]

Do you all ever feel a real attraction for both sexes, or are you really holding onto something, maybe trying to avoid the stigma of being labeled as gay from society? Please share your thoughts with me, I'm only curious.

I feel attraction to both men and women, but in totally different ways.

With women it's a total, whole of body and emotional attraction.

With men I feel mateship, bonding, like we're buddies. And I love cocks. My submissive side kicks in and it's more physical than emotional.

 

[ricksvca]

Do you all ever feel a real attraction for both sexes, or are you really holding onto something, maybe trying to avoid the stigma of being labeled as gay from society? Please share your thoughts with me, I'm only curious.

For me it is all about the cock and only the cock with almost every man I have had sex with. The second man to give me a BJ was one of my best friends,(his name was Terry) who was gay and I was attracted to the whole man, the way he looked, his personality, intelligence and eventually his cock, especially his cock. We were very close friends and one night when I was over at his apartment he just came right out and told me he wanted to give me a blowjob. This happened when I was 26. I turned him down but inside I was turned on by the idea, very turned on. I was not really surprised when he did this because he had told me previously that he was very attracted to me. He did not know that when I was 22 I had let a man, a complete stranger, give me a hand job in a straight porn theater. It was 1976 and I was 22. I didn't reciprocate. This was a very spontaneous experience and was definitely not something I was looking for or expected to happen, especially in a straight porn theater but there was no question that I thoroughly enjoyed this experience.

After my friend propositioned me I was intrigued by the idea of not only letting a man give me a BJ but also of me giving a man a BJ. A few months after he propositioned me I went to SF (I lived in LA) to find out if I actually could give a man a BJ and would I actually like it.. I hooked up with a man in the sauna. We went to his room and I sucked his cock. I let him cum in my mouth. I knew as soon as I touched his cock and took him into my mouth that I loved sucking cock. I wanted the full blowjob experience and that meant having him cum in mouth and me swallowing all of his cum. I did not ask him to reciprocate and I left his room soon after he had cum.. The next step for me was to see what it was like to have a man give me a BJ. Seven months later I went to a bathhouse in West Hollywood for the sole purpose of hooking up with a man and having him give me a BJ. A guy came onto me, said I had a nice cock and asked me if he could touch my cock. I said yes and he proceeded to give me a BJ. It felt amazing and I came in his mouth after about 15 minutes. I already knew I loved sucking a man's dick so after I came t told him I wanted to suck him off and that he could cum in my mouth. After that experience I knew I was bisexual. A couple of years later when I was certain that I could totally trust my friend Terry I called him on a Saturday morning and told him I would let him give me a BJ. Forty five minutes later I was in his apartment, totally naked, laying on his bed and receiving the best blowjob I had ever had. We didn't hook up again until four years later when I was at his apartment, said I had to use the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom I was totally naked and I laid out on the loveseat facing the couch where he was sitting. He was in total shock.. He started sucking my cock and after about 20 minutes I told him I wanted to give him a hand job. It was only then that he took all his clothes off and I saw him naked for the first. His cock was already hard and I knew I just had to have him in my mouth. I just skipped the hand job and went straight to sucking his very large, very thick cut cock with the largest mushroom head I have ever seen until he came in my mouth. I spent the night and the next morning I basically woke him up by pulling his underwear down and sucking his cock until he came. He then did me again. .

I am far far more attracted to women than I am men and probably at least 90% of my sexual experiences have been with women. I have no desire to have a "relationship" other than sexual with a man. My sexual relationship with Terry lasted for 15 years. It was very intense and something I really enjoyed most frequently from 1988 when I got divorced thru 1992. I am bisexual and most definitely not gay.